If things are to ever change...

This is Toronto's health initiative right now for children's health and its stunningly brilliant and my philosophy to a "T"
such a contrast to Georgia sanctioned bullying of fat children on billboards:
Please read and take to heart. Remember that your "fat" talk is being heard by the next generation:

YOUR KIDS ARE LISTENING


What you say and do has a big impact on how your child feels
about food and physical activity, and can also affect your child’s
self-esteem. You are the most important role model for your
young child.
Children form attitudes at an early age. Much of what they
learn before age six will stay with them for the rest of their
lives. Remember to:
• Emphasize what’s special and unique about your child,
yourself and others.
• Avoid criticizing your body, your child’s body or the bodies
of other people.
• Let your child decide how much to eat. You decide
what food to offer and when and where to eat.
• Never use food as a reward or punishment.
• Set limits on your child’s TV, computer and video game time
and go outside to play together instead.
• Praise your child’s actions, behaviours and abilities often.


SOME THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND
• Active parents have active children. Instead of just
watching your child play, join in.
• Teach your child that body images used by the media are not
realistic. Healthy bodies come in many shapes and sizes.
• Focus on what your daughter does well, not her body shape.
Research shows that fathers play an important role in how
their daughters see themselves.
• Children learn healthy habits from their parents. When it
comes to healthy eating, physical activity and self-esteem,
be a positive role model for your young child.
Being a parent isn’t always easy. If you find you could
use a little help, contact us.
Call Toronto Health Connection at 416-338-7600

From HERE


and a great post by Ragen on getting moms to lose weight before becoming pregnant: Why not just teach them how to fly?...

" the biggest problem with this situation is that it doesn’t matter if being thin would be better for women who want to become pregnant because there is not a single proven method to make them thin. If women with narrow hips have worse pregnancy outcomes the solution isn’t to try to make them have wider hips.  If short women have more negative outcomes the solution is not to try to make them tall.  It might also be better for pregnant women to be able to fly but nobody is running a “Flying Preggos Initiatives”.  Because there is absolutely no evidence that we can get any of those things done.  Just like there is no evidence that we can make fat people thin."

and...

The same group who created those awful billboards is training hospital personnel on the importance of bringing up weight.

why in holy hell?

Can we just bring up healthy practices? and newsflash: fat people know they are fat.

Like I tried to tell the southern OB you don't know if the thin as a rail 18 y.o. pregnant for the third or fifth time woman eats a diet strictly of mountain dew and ho-ho's. Singling out fat folks ignores the whole 'other range of sizes that might benefit from better diet and exercise. And don't berate or chastise a fat person until you have asked what their daily practices are.  And work hard to trust. Just because you have a firmly held belief in calories in/ calories out ignoring the vast differences in human metabolism and intricacies of the human body on the entire spectrum.... Just because you think you know what a person eats and does by looking at them.. try, try to trust them and LISTEN. 

There is more danger in overweight people who avoid health care at all costs because they are tired of the stigma. Its only really in the healthcare setting where I can pay someone $300 to chastise me after not listening to me. Or sitting through their version of a diet: 

I really did just have a doctor say "Oh I don't believe in dieting... Just a small breakfast, try to keep lunch under 500 calories and dinner at 5:00 small too, NO SNACKING WHATSOEVER and never eat dessert."

Well doctor if it looks like a diet and quacks like a diet...

Focus on Health. NOT size.

the end.

when a blog post unravels...

** 10 weeks 5 days: sick, sick, sick. not functioning but mind is getting clearer and thinking like mad on too many things that I shouldn't (like planning this birth, had a meeting with the new midwife planned and that morning when I could. not. stop. throwing up her assistant called to say she was at a birth. Did I want to come at noon. I said no I'm too sick I'll call when I feel better. I haven't called. Was it a sign, I think not I am leaning toward midwife. But I have also told Kyle we could go to the trust birth conference in April and attend a newborn resuscitation course from one of the best midwives in the country and feel more confident doing this ourselves... I don't know... brain in a pretzel.) I have been consumed with thoughts on my church's position on gay marriage and feeling a shift in perspective within myself. This post concerned me greatly.

And did you know big bloggers MckMama and Dooce are getting divorced? I kind of only read Cjane and NieNie that much anymore even though I have to calm myself down every time I click there knowing that they cut their newborn baby boys :( Even though if they have researched natural childbirth they SURELY have to know better than to be cutters...

Then there has been Whitney - so sad. And Elizabeth Smart getting married - so happy. Then a lengthy email exchange with the busy southern OB who I linked to in a previous post on why its not ok to make fun of fat patients on your blog. He didn't get it. In case you need reminding again OB's can be a dense scary bunch - GET A MIDWIFE!!! (not a medwife under scrutiny of a dense OB, a midwife, preferably a homebirth midwife)

I had in my mind this whole cerebral post on autonomy and do we really have it in many areas of our life... but another day. I don't feel good.


So I will just write a quick update on my kids since this is after all a family blog... sort of:

Benjamin

- Has been first chair in Tuba consistently for a few weeks now.
-Is working on a BIG Rube Goldberg machine project for science class and I have been cussing the skies that its due during my height of morning sickness.
-He seems so much older to me lately and looking older too. But I remember that he is still a little boy when the trash he was supposed to take out is still in the living room the next morning because he didn't want to go out in the dark.
-He started writing a book - its about vampires and actually very good. I hope he finishes it.

Ella.
-Oh Ella My little grown up from the womb.
- Not to be outdone she started a book too about an adopted girl from China who saves her allowance to fly to china and find her birth parents. I said Ella you should probably google a ticket to china - its quite a bit more than you can save up from allowances. Not to be defeated - the main character then raids her college savings to afford the trip - so the book continues.
- She loves to lip synch to Adele and Taylor Swift. I prefer Adele. (Is Adele still smoking? COME ON girl! stop it already)
-I told someone I let Ella and Maiya go to the park alone. I think her head went up in flames like ghostrider. Hey Free-range isn't for everyone. (PS. Elizabeth Smart was taken from her BED... you cant control every risk) Life is to be lived to not be afraid of.

Maiya.
-In  few short weeks she got her hair cut short and lost both front teeth. I can barely recognize her.
-She is a reading champ - in fact she can read upside down and backwards the best (ummm yes that is a sign of a slight problem which we have suspected.)
-The girl is uber patient with all of her friends of which she has many but is a little short with us
-She is super artistic - with any medium - you name it she's cutting, painting drawing, sculpting

Cora.
-Clothes still optional.
-watching way too much TV while I am sick. Guilt successfully induced.
-LOVES bathtime HATES bedtime - hence has ended up in our bed quite often lately
-Late talker who doesn't stop to breath now she is a stream of endless chatter. Some side splitting funny stuff.

PJ
-still breastfeeding.
-still NOT walking. He totally can. He's done it and we have video proof but he just chooses not to - why when you can do this super fast crawling and cool knee scoot thing. I am hoping he is walking by time I am done being sick and we go back to church and he's in nursery because that would be a tad bit embarrassing.
-super, super sweet baby and if I have babied him too much I consider that nothing but positive.

Boo
-The name we have called the baby to be.
Because as the kids say just like Boo Radley the baby is pale white and stays inside all the time. Just no treats left in trees for us.
We are strongly considering NOT finding out the sex of the baby this time around until you know, the actual birthday.
But I am thinking boy.
Just because we have the most beautiful girl name picked out: Nola Anne  - there it is, I have claimed it DON'T STEAL IT!!
Boy names: none.


see it will be a boy.

8 weeks 5 days... decisions, decisions...

from MamaIs comic

I drove past my midwife's office shortly after moving here in 2006, "Natural Birth Services" was on the building. I wondered if that was a doula or a midwife and made a mental note to research before next pregnancy.

Then I didn't research because I forgot and got pregnant and was so sick I just went with the gyn office I was already at. Jennifer Allen was ok in the ob department, still threatened the BIG baby card and early inductions and my uneducated self was scared and didn't want to be induced so I did what any ol idiot would do I self-induced.

Membranes stripped.
sex
jumping jacks
SPICY food
and every other thing that google will turn up on natural inductions techniques cept for castor oil, because I'd had a baby before and adding diarrhea was not enticing to that process.

So I ended up in the hospital with contractions over two weeks before Cora's due date and ended up on Pitocin... and you know the rest of that story. The first time Kyle and I were alone after her birth I said and I quote:

"If I ever have another baby, I am not going to any hospital"

So when Cora was nine months old I interviewed Pam at Natural Birth Services. I also had phone interviews with Allen Birthing center midwives, Hillary Lyndsey, and two others I can't think of now...

Because I knew that if I waited till there was a positive pregnancy test I'd be too barfy to interview then.

Now between my interview with Pam and actually conceiving PJ - Pam and Hillary combined practices and bought an adorable little house in Sherman and opened a beautiful Birth Center: House of Birth.

Thing is, I didn't want a birth center birth. I wanted a homebirth.

But Pam was awesome and since she lives in Anna she agreed to attend my homebirth.

And it was wonderful!! (Ya'll know that)

Now here I am at baby # 6

And Pam and Hillary's House of Birth is bustling.

And I still don't want a birth center birth.

I kind of think birth centers are like renting a room for your homebirth. All the joys of a homebirth plus other peoples germs.

A freestanding birth center has no more technology than a homebirth midwife brings to your home.

So all the same safety net as a homebirth but you get the added benefit of traveling in labor... no thank you.

and traveling home 4-6 hours after the birth...again  no thank you.

The only way I'd consider a freestanding birth center is if my husband was dead set against a homebirth (actually I'm lucky Kyle is so cool because if my husband was that non-understanding I'd just un-invite him to the birth... "Uncomfortable with a homebirth hunny?" " I'm sorry, but don't come.")

or... if my home was way too far away from a back up hospital.

Add to my fears of a freestanding birth center:

Its not manned at all hours and I don't have a key. Meaning not only do I have to show up I have to trust that I can reach all midwives and that they will show up on time too - ya know to let me in and all.

Hear about the lady who gave birth on the porch at Allen Birthing center. Yeah. I'd be pissed.

At home the worst is we deliver alone. I'd take that any day over delivering on the porch out in the open.

It would seem from emails that Pam and Hillary are very much into their birth center and while they will agree to attend my homebirth would prefer I come to the birthing center.  Financial incentive to do such as well. As Ron White would say "I got a coupin"


sigh...


so I am in a dilemma...

I don't want my birth reluctantly attended. Not that I think Pam would have that attitude. But if she does have mothers at the birth center and me here birthing at home....

I have an interview with another homebirth midwife so I will see how that goes. Funny its the midwife who ended up on the porch with that mom.

But I have already clicked with Pam.

And a woman of my BMI... once you click with a healthcare provider you tend to stay with said healthcare provider.

Then I have the completely crazy notion of us doing this alone...

I don't think we will. But the thought is there.

The BEST midwife... is as Micheal Odent puts it, an:

 "experienced, low-profile, motherly, and silent midwife... a midwife able to remain silent even when the mother-to-be says silly words, such as, for example, "kill me," "let me die," etc... a midwife who will just make sure that the baby will not fall down on the floor."




 Its hard as I put it to Kyle, I am trying to find someone who will do nothing for me.

That is exactly what I want, no interventions, no unnecessary coaching, having done this 5 times already I don't have any list of questions for prenatal appointments.

So about $4000 to the best person to be there if anything goes wrong. And do nothing when it goes right.

Which it does 98% of the time.

PS. I found the forum where they bashed Cjane for page after page after page for her recent birth.

so sad.


*** disclaimer: I am glad birth centers exist I think they are vastly better than current labor and delivery floors especially if you want natural childbirth - so I am happy they are there.

some things that are helping:

I am sick.

it sucks.

like soul sucking depression of depths unknown.


but some things that have helped me so far:

Morning sickness or Hyperemesis Gravidarium, or HG... causes for me:

this unrelenting bad taste in my mouth,

its like a cross between metal, vinegar and raw rotten meat taste.

And its there ALL. THE. TIME.

and get this toothpaste tastes awful, don't even suggest a brand I've tried them all. And even if I use none brushing make me gag and flossing past my two front teeth GUARANTEES vomiting.

But I read on Knocked up and Knocked over about swishing with baking soda and Lord shined down upon my soul it helps. Only for about five minutes - but it helps.

So I am doing that.


Then I decided from the abnormally large amount of stomach acid that I can throw up at any moment that I have a problem there so I added max strength zantac to my homemade dilectin. And IT HELPS!!

and then there is the making of too much spit production and I have just had to deal with that.

I seriously can't come up with any possible reason biologically for this crap.

oh well..

I hear morning sickness is during the phase of placenta production.  So I regard that extra organ with reverence. Because if during the sickest I ever get in my life I make a whole other organ that grows a tiny human. Its pretty cool

and barf inducing.

and I have kept myself occupied while on the couch (I hate being this lazy) by watching as much of Downtown Abbey as I can access and reading all of this OB's blog: http://laboranddeliverance.blogspot.com/

Because any super busy OB in the deep, deep south who fights for VBAC's and thinks pitocin should be outlawed is a hero of mine even if the blog is sprinkled with crude obesity jokes.

Someone has a bit of a lisp

Maiya lost her front tooth and just in time to- her permanent tooth was starting to make her gums look angry above

And in other news I feel gross

:)

 my precious moments baby boy.

 Ella's artwork was in the County fair

 while there we went to visit the cows and hear them say "MOOOOOOOOOOooooooo"

 

Benjamin made first chair in Tuba :)

My kids make me so pleased.

Unless you work at Golden Corral...

I have probably cooked more than you in the past few days. 

In fact in the span of 4.5 days I cooked over 48 meals!! All those meals plus extra beans for the freezer.

You see cooking is the only thing I can do ahead of time. I can't stockpile laundry or vacuuming.

Over $400 shopping trip (three stores)

60 pans and lids from Sams club

Triple or quadruple batches of everything, above chili, below pork tenderloin with tomatoes over rice and veggies. (or maybe that's chicken I don't remember.)

one layer of saran wrap then lid to prevent freezer burn, Just don't forget to take off the saran wrap before putting in oven.

and label.

I have my own Hyperemesis Gravidarium protocol in place based off several from other people who go through this too:

Whining Puker

Knocked up, Knocked Over.

Mine is not quite as in-depth.

1. Make tons of meal (DONE, I'd make more if I had more freezer space.)

2. Homemade Dilectin: borrowed from Whining Puker ( I have done this before but not smaller doses spread out during the day like she suggests)

10 mg Vitamin B6
10 mg Doxylamine Succinate, or Unisom - this is roughly half of one 25 mg tablet

3. Force myself to eat every 2 hours- Up protein at all meals! Snack on nuts.

4. Stay hydrated, and drink lots of lemon water (lemon is high alkaline, which can help based off this article.)

5. I am NOT taking pre-natal vitamins this time. They make me throw up - no way around it. So I am not trying anymore. A vitamin thrown up is not as good as a meal kept down.

6. Pray and meditate because like Ina May says "feelings effect labor" so I say feelings effect morning sickness too!

7. I honestly think that still breastfeeding PJ will help ease my morning sickness. Nursing while pregnant this is new for me.

I'll be six weeks along on Wednesday and I have not been sick yet (never gone this long before, so maybe the tides have changed for me! One sister from church said the older she got the less morning sickness she had so hip,hip, hooray for later pregnancies!!!

I have no defense for being pregnant at my sister's wedding. I have felt comfort in prayer that I will be A-OK for the big day. Which is rapidly approaching - how exciting!!!

Yes I am.

True Story

So one time we went to Disneyworld.

We planned that trip with the zeal that only NASA can plan a trip to the moon.

Kyle went to this site: Tour Guide Mike's

weekly.

sometimes daily.

That planning paid off - we hardly waited in line AT. ALL. And we got free dining for all of us!

We found the best travel agent who found a room that would accommodate three adults, three kids and one infant.

We saved so much money we decided to fly there instead of drive. (we honestly didn't know if we all could fit plus luggage in a minivan.)

So we found a great deal on plane tickets and booked, not really thinking that we just put ourselves arriving one day early. So we had to add a night to our hotel stay.

Which put us at Disney with one day without park tickets. But that's cool because the hotel itself was rocking.

So we arrived, unpacked and Kyle promptly crashed on the bed to sleep. Meg and I decided to take the kids to the pool. The kids donned bathing suits and dashed ahead. Then Meg went pushing the stroller and I made my way down the path in front of the hotel rooms.

But something caught my eye.

weed.

not a weed.

weed. the kind that comes in little bags.

I was like holy crap - that's marijuana so I did what anyone would do, I grabbed it and took it back to our hotel room.

Tried to wake up Kyle "hey I found some weed outside."

He grumbled and rolled over, I left the bag on his book and went swimming.

When we got back I really woke him up and he was like "did you say something about weed?"

"Yeah I found some on the sidewalk, what should we do?"

we debated about how funny of a souvenir that would be and then decided to just call the front desk and let them come get it.

They sent up the OLDEST security guard I have ever seen - I think he said he was 90 and he was on a segway - he was rockin cool.  He said thanks and took the weed.

We wondered what he was going to do with it.

We went to Disney and all we got was a lousy bag of weed.

true story.

Video response to Biggest loser.

Biggest Loser Australia's theme this season is "Love Yourself" which means love yourself AFTER you've lost weight. The commercial is a wonderful example of exploiting other's pain for your financial gain. It saddens me.


The Amazing Ragen who blogs here, organized this video response! Its so very awesome and Kyle and I are in it:

true story...

I thought it would be interesting to write a series about the strange things that have happened to me.

I had a few ideas bumbling around in my head but then this happened to me last night and I thought I'd write about it first.

Unfortunately its sad.

Kyle and I made a late night run to Albertons to stock up on some of the deals they had - and halfway through I had to ummm... go #2...

Its the bane of my existence.  Needing to poop while out shopping.

My sister always says if I am constipated I just need to go to walmart.

(for Kyle its bookstores) LOL

Anyway Albertson's bathroom at almost 11 pm is kind of creepy so I was aware of my surroundings you might say when someone walked in to the stall next to me.

And their feet stayed facing the toilet for quite sometime.

I thought..

HOLY CRAP.

I'm in the men's bathroom.

Then I heard a familiar heart breaking sound.... gagging... followed by vomiting.

completely silent vomiting. and there was 4 rounds of it.

very quiet gagging then silent vomiting.

whoever she was next to me...

she was making herself throw up.

It made me so sad.

I left the stall and washed my hands. And went to leave but I couldn't.

I said

Are you ok?

"I'm fine just a little sick"

Then my hands started shaking and I debated in my mind but said this even though I wasn't sure if I should:

"If you are doing that to yourself, Please I beg of you - get help."

she didn't respond. she didn't deny anything.

and I quietly left.


I met Kyle at checkout and saw the usual magazine covers... and thought how sad the whole situation is. Can a daughter of God with that much self hate, and self injury reach her full potential?

If you wonder why body image, self esteem, and size acceptance is important to me - This story is another reason why.

true story.

LDS women discuss...

Are you in on this conversation?  click its a link, about this:


If you could ask Sister Julie B. Beck, the General Relief Society President,  any question what would it be?

Yes. I mean ANY question.

Such as:

• Why do only men hold the priesthood? 
• How do women really fit into the church? Do they have a place?
• Why were Relief Society Meetings-- formerly known as Enrichment-- formerly known as Home, Family and Personal Enrichment--formerly known as Homemaking done away with? 
• When is it OK to say NO? Is it ever?
• What are we supposed to do with that new book they just put out? (Daughters in my kingdom)

I just have to say a lot of the comments resonate with me and they are not things that I can easily talk about with people...

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” - Nancy Willard.

My life in technology

sooooo... we got iphones of the 4S variety.

they are awesome.

then our home computer died promptly on us - that would be a big ol dose of budget karma.

But Kyle is using his mad computer skills on it to devise a resurrection and we added carbonite off site backup a while back so I know my roughly one BILLION pictures are safe.

While playing with my iphone I kept daydreaming about going back in time and handing it to the me at like say age 14 - How freaking cool would that have been?

I laugh telling my kids about tech of ages past:

My Me-Maw was the first person I remember having a VCR - to record her "Stories" aka soaps. It had a remote super fancy, but it was not wireless, it had a 20 foot cord that you had to roll back up when you were done using the remote.

I remember my dad getting us a new nice 3000 lb TV once and when he worked it out of the box the remote fell out, he couldn't remember what its name was so he said "hey hand me that TV box thing"
TO. THIS. DAY.  Me, my sister and mother still call it the "TV box" and now Kyle does sometimes too and maybe even my kids.

I remember when we got an Apple IIe,  We were the envy of the neighborhood. Except for the family that had a TV in their parents bedroom and the kitchen - because who in the world needed 3 TV's??
With our Apple IIe, people came over to play "troll" (see pic above) and make banners - remember those banners - the printer paper with the little holes on the side that you had to rip ever so carefully or you'd rip your banner apart?

A short time later our Apple was obsolete and that pissed my dad off so much he swore off computers for the rest of his life.

That is until the internet came along. Then on Christmas break we borrowed a computer from my mom's school and set it up and visited some "chat rooms"

It only took about 10 minutes for every single thing to load. If you were lucky.

In college email was still relatively new. I remember if you asked someone "do you have an email address" there was a chance they didn't.  There were 2 computers for use by our entire hall and few people had their own.

I printed off emails that I found particularly special or funny.

My last year at Longwood the talk was that in the next two years they would require every student to have their own personal computer. We considered this cruel and unattainable for the masses.


And now computers are on our phones... and I've been waaaaaay behind the times in getting one.

His body, His rights, His agency, not yours.

the most comprehensive review of the issue of genital cutting that I have ever seen:

Top 10

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

Albert Einstein

Most visited posts of 2011:

10. You have my permission to forgive yourself. This post was inspired by someone comparing being fat to being a smoker. Which is about the same as comparing a meth addict to being tall. Smoking is a behavior. Fat is not.; neither is being short, or brown eyed, or curlied headed.

9. The harder you try to lose weight - are you constantly trying to restrict your calories or thinking about doing so - stop it, its messing with your body's homeostasis and hormones and might be making your body bigger. Intuitive eating is where its at!

8. You have my permission to love your body! Where my HAES (Health at Every Size) journey starts. Just this time last year I was adding a calorie tracker to my ipod. NEVER AGAIN DIETING INDUSTRY!! I have found the light - follow me to it :)

7. Depression - where the dog dug up my new garden 

6. No-poo - all about how to take care of your curls by going shampoo free!

5. Are you being a bully? Talking crap about yourself is ok right?? ummm no. Especially if you are bad mouthing features that someone in the room has, come on ladies you're smarter than that.

4. The Silence was deafening... woo ... boy ... On this topic of saying no to birth control, feathers were ruffled. Reminded me of a podcast where the person said 'want to hide something from the Church? just put it in the scriptures...they'll miss it in there' Just because its between "husband and wife" doesn't mean you weren't asked to do it.

3. "Further thoughts on that topic" became popular after I guest blogged at one of my favorite blogs here, "A Mormon perspective on sterilization."  It was a follow-up to my original post on the topic here: Off my chest LDS & birth control.

2. Dear Lisa Masterson. Your misguided views on natural childbirth and infant circumcision are such BS. I'd feel sorry for you being so ignorant if it wasn't for the fact that you are on TV. Reason # 1 doctors don't deserve your blind following: you can get your MD degree and be just as misguided and rude as this chick.

1. PE... Gym Class. Did you hate it too? Make exercise which should be fun a torture session? Sorry to hear that, here are my ideas to make it better.

bonus:
Fight the power be happy just the way you are!
(I admit to a little body snarking myself that I have avoided in the rest of my HAES posts.)


My favorite blog of the year elsewhere was: Ragen Chastain at Dances with Fat. Getting to have lunch with her in Dallas was very, very cool. And I am working on a little project with her right now :)

My second favorite blog of the year: Women in the Scriptures

My favorite post of the year (never linked up here before): Ten Rules for Fat Girls if you are new to accepting your body the way it is, print this out and hang it somewhere prominent.

In 2012 I will continue blogging about my adorable kids. Maybe there will be another one? I hope so (see # 4 & 3)
My sister is getting married in March - lots of pictures in the blog future!
I may tackle my spiritual ramblings more here - but they are tough ones. Like I can't even get my mind out of a pretzel sometimes - can I write about this too? kind of spiritual stuff.
I want to write more about routine infant circ. too. Ya know before I have to take down the blog for all the embarrassing stuff I've already put on here.

I hope its a wonderful year for you and I hope to see you around these parts!

Plus Size breastfeeding.

(Many of these 'tips' will work for any size mom, baby, & breasts but its from my perspective and the only perspective I've ever had is plus size breastfeeding) As I like to do, this post is link heavy.

"When we trust the makers of baby formula more than we do our own ability to nourish our babies, we lose a chance to claim an aspect of our power as women. Thinking that baby formula is as good as breast milk is believing that thirty years of technology is superior to three million years of nature's evolution. Countless women have regained trust in their bodies through nursing their children, even if they weren't sure at first that they could do it. It is an act of female power, and I think of it as feminism in its purest form." 
----- Christine Northrup M.D.

1.  YOU CAN DO IT!! Repeat after me - you can feed your baby the way God intended!
You don't really have more milk ducts you just have more breast tissue. Don't fret about your anatomy all that much. On the flip side don't let people act like you should obviously be a breast feeding champ because they are big... that has nothing to do with it and may even make things harder.
*Your milk might take 24-36 hours more to come in than smaller chested moms - but this was not the case for me.

2. Get a really good nursing bra. After five babies and countless nursing bras this is my personal favorite. I got it in a batch I bought used off of ebay. (That's a good place while pinching pennies - Like I've said before many, many moms give up on breastfeeding but they've bought 4-8 nursing bras at $40 a pop - know what they do with them?? yup.. ebay - just wash on super, duper hot with some bleach and you're good to go - no different than that birthing gown at the hospital you wore that so did thousands of other moms with their "juices" see previous link where I blogged about that topic too.)

Anyway back to my favorite nursing bra features:

*NO underwire. Maybe when you are very well past engorgement and establishing breastfeeding you can go to an underwire nursing bra but just be very, very careful. Your milk ducts can go as far as into your armpit and engorgement can cause your lymph nodes to swell (to the size of marbles if you're me). If you have an underwire digging in: HELLO clogged milk ducts followed by mastitis maybe even accompanied by a raging 103 degree fever. All from personal experience here.

*Soft breathable material. Or HELLO thrush. Avoid too much lace with 12 times a day of tugging on it the lace will rip. It will no matter how much you paid for the bra. Trust me.

* Wide-ish shoulder straps, not so much that it feels like your purse on each shoulder. But us gals with the big bags can't have no spaghetti straps holding us up.

*One-click flap: If there is one thing that drives me mad on a nursing bra is a small hook like what's on the back of the bra - that is almost impossible to latch with one hand also hard with both hands if the baby is still in your arms.

Here she is isn't she a beaut? comes up to 46 DDD and this model is decidedly not plus size but that's cool:

$20 for two - need to order online for plus sizes - unless your walmart is cooler than mine!

** lets talk about those who swear by the "no need to buy a nursing bra just stretch your regular bra or get a sports bra.  Well for one thing if you really have a plus size chest there is no "just stretch your regular bra" unless your regular bra does not fit you very well. And as for the sports bra you have two options, pull it down then you have it stretched to kingdom come by week 2 postpartum or pull it up and it chokes you while you feed the baby and digs in - Hello clogged duct again.

3. Nursing clothes. These you don't really need. Just stick with pants and shirt and skirts and shirts - you may need to skip on dresses for a while, Though I still wear them sometimes and just hike up my entire dress in the mother's lounge at church if my baby blanket is big enough to cover me. Wrap dresses are great too!

4. Take the whole boob out. All of it  -lift and place it out of the nursing bra, especially in the beginning.

This is the part where you need to be comfortable with your body. Be at one with your breasts, fat rolls, etc. Handle your body - just letting your nipple poke out is not good. Picture your breast as an icing bag. Imagine it being crimped in the slightest in one area. Things will eventually get all lopsided and even twisted. That will happen if your breast is constricted in anyway by the bra. A clogged duct/ breast infections pops up faster than a zit on prom night. Give your breast freedom when feeding your baby. you can be covered for modesty - but covered is different from constricted.

5. Bring the baby to the breast not the breast to the baby. This one took me a while to learn. I was so desperate for Benjamin to nurse that I would get into any contorted position and stay there if he happened to latch. Then I'd be in some crazy bent forward, arm crooked spot for 20-30 minutes and was barely able to move from the back cramps afterwards.  So get completely comfortable yourself! Then bring the baby right up to you. If you get in a twisted sister position break the latch and start over again!!

GET COMFORTABLE. Get lots of pillows - position them where you need them. Breastfeeding pillows may or may not help depending on your particular shape but if they help great. 

My best trick for getting comfy and ready is a rolled up hand towel under the breast that I am feeding on. It puts my breast in a better position and keeps me from having to hold myself up and strain my back.

6. Yes it will hurt. But no it should not really hurt. This is a tough one to explain. If you are experiencing pain when your baby latches something is not right. That is a true statement. But after 5 I can tell you that the first 10-20 seconds of a baby latching for about the first six weeks JUST SUCKS (literally & figuratively) Its like your breasts aren't really ready for a baby to be hoovering them and the baby on the other hand has practiced nothing but sucking in utero.. so what I do is this:  My baby goes on and I tap my foot rather forcefully to the count of 10, If its still hurts like hell I break them off and we start over.  Those 10 seconds are hell, but after that I find the nipple finds where it should be in baby's mouth and its stops hurting all together. (This could be because I have flat nipples...)

7. Flat nipples. Lots of plus size moms seem to have this problem. I don't know if its because extra fat tissue fills out the areola and what would normaly stick out for the baby to latch on to is now spherical in nature. But here are my tips for flat nipples:

- DO NOT GIVE YOUR BABY ANY ARTIFICIAL NIPPLE. That means bottles, pacis of any type or even your finger if you can help it. Not until breastfeeding is very, very established. Print a index size card saying this request and have dad stick it to the bassinet if you are delivering at a hospital. The baby of a flat nippled mom has to work to breastfeed - there is not really anything to just "stick" into their mouth. They  have to suck it in and be awake and motivated enough to do so. One bout on a a pacifier and you could be working extra hard on breastfeeding for another few weeks. ( now I am not against them later when you feel completely comfortable with BF'ing.)

- You should not by practice pinch any area of your breast while your baby is breastfeeding but if you are flat nippled you may have to. You can pinch up some of your nipple to get your baby interested, tickle their face and lips with it and have something to put into the mouth, if you have a latch ease off of your pinch (remember you don't want clogged ducts)

-You may need to play with your nipples to get them up and out or better yet pump for about 30 secs to 2 minutes and then they may be in the perfect shape for a latch.

- Some mom's swear by nipple shields but I have no experience with them.

There are some fabulous youtube videos on latch tricks 

8. Your body is not broken. You will not drown, or suffocate your baby. Don't be overly self concious or worried about your baby's nose, they will adjust to breathe. Just work to get as much nip in their mouth as possible and they will figure out the rest!

9. Don't give up!! Even if you started bottles, pacis, and formula keep at it! Its so very worth it. Even if your milk has dried up you can still put your baby to the breast - nutrition is only one purpose of nursing its not the only one. If you want to nurse for comfort only go for it!

10. If you feel a clogged duct coming on - increase nursing on that side, massage the clogged area when nursing and pump till empty if needed once every 24 hours. Have a good breast pump that has adjustable nipple sizes. Stay away from home remedies like cabbage leaves - they can dry up your supply.

....

Any other advice moms of the ample chest?

Any questions?

I'm sure I'll think of more later!

6-inch ribbon curls honey

Merry Christmas !!!

 We played, we puzzled, we ate, we made GINORMOUS messes, we watched elf, we fielded mean comments on the blog on Christmas eve (seriously you have nothing better to do?), We cooked, we didn't clean, we stayed up late and got up early, then stayed up late and slept in late, We've been to Amazing Jakes for almost 8 hours (our gift from Nana),  We've read thanks to some Amazing books from Grandma & Tony, We've napped, We've snuggled...

Kyle has off the whole week and we will continue the festivities but right after I take a long scalding hot bath in the middle of the afternoon (because I can.)

 Meg's famous cheeseballs 

 He thinks its so funny to go in there.

 But its better than him messing with these!

 SANTA CAME!!!!!!!

 PJ seriously loves his PEWI from Santa

 Maiya on her bouncy horsey

 Cora with her Baby Brooke - who seems to have no clothes on anymore - how totally appropriate given Cora's distaste for clothes as of late.

 Santa gave us 2012 season passes to Six flags!!! And we can use them for the rest of this year too!

There is really nothing more annoying than trying to sweep up Orbeez I've decided. 

 Benjamin assembled all his Lego stuff rapidly without any help from Dad... Kind of made Dad a bit sad.

PJ crusing on his Pewi to steal everybody else's stocking candy.

Christmas Eve.

 Benjamin helped me peel and chop 10 lbs of potatoes

 unwrapping gifts with Aunt Meg, Justin and Nana

 see this head massager.. oh my gawd. It will change your life it feels so good

 my baby sister :)

 Giving Aunt Meg kisses :)

 This is what Maiya wanted to eat - I begged her to add something with color but her gift today was a white meal with no nagging from mom.

 Nikko would really, really like some turkey.. puhleese.

best. turkey. evah. still... thanks Alton.

And.. ta-da... Mr. PJ standing - will he be walking by New Year's... probably not LOL.

My Christmas wish list.

• 10 out of 10 women would be overjoyed about the awesomeness of their bodies.
• Magazines at checkout would have actual content instead of diet garbage.
• The medical community would start coming around and training all healthcare professionals in HAES.

• Routine Infant circumcision of girls and boys would end. If you don't mind talk and educational images about private parts this is a fantastic informational video about how circumcision hurts women.

• Hospitals start to adopt true safe effective practices for mothers and babies. Breastfeeding rates go up, c-section rates go down.

• Chris Christie changes his mind and runs for president:

I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite.

 packages shipped.

 Parties attended

 friends hugged

 babies snuggled

 pictures posed

 Presents wrapped

dogs lives threatened

 Janie's wrath sparked at check-out.

(flames out of the sides of my face.)

Excellent article by dietitian Lucy Aphramor: "Our efforts may have been seriously misguided and even harmful."