Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Don't cry for me ... In which I address a patronizing blog comment.

I was just thinking about you and decided to read what was happening on your end since I don't get to read your Facebook posts anymore, but I feel so sad for you Janie. You let others talk you out of what you once knew to be true. That is what Satan wanted all along and he sure did get you good. I hope that one day you will come back and feel the goodness and mercy of the Atonement of the Savior. He loves you. And He weeps for this choice you have made. But He also awaits with open arms. 

A peek into Mormon passive aggression. I just want to break down this comment since there may be other readers thinking the same thing. 

1. "I feel so sad for you Janie."

I have also had someone say to my face "You are so sad." to which I replied no in fact I am not and that is offensive... to which they came back with "No you are saaaaadddd" (Picture puppy dog face and condescension) 

To anyone who is concerned, I am genuinely not sad. There were dark times coming to the realization that what I believed and what I was taught, and what I was teaching my children was inaccurate. Being on the fence, living for a year+ as an active Mormon deciding how to proceed, fighting for answers. That was hard. Life now is sweet and full of freedom and active truth seeking. Even IF I was sad, or IF you feel sad for me that is generally a rude thing to haphazardly claim about some one's life especially through a blog comment. I'd reserve statements of that nature for your closest friends and family. 

2.   "You let others talk you out of what you once knew to be true."

OH MY STARS ABOVE. no. just no.  No one talked me out of anything, In fact there was NO one to really talk to about this. This has inspired me to fully address my deconversion story it is way too much to outline in one post. But this sentence alone shows me that the person is not really a blog reader of mine, did not follow my faith crisis posts or does not have the intellect to follow the reasoning that I had to go through. 

Or how about this? Talk me back into it. Who even talked me into the church in the first place? I was baptized when I still believed in Santa Claus. Think about that for a minute. I took the Gospel SERIOUSLY, I stumbled onto questionable church history WHILE I WAS BEING A GOOD MEMBER MISSIONARY. I took the entire process slowly from the first two emails to close friends to talks with the Bishops and scriptorians not a single issue I have struggled with has been met with satisfactory answers. So before you throw out something as simple as that someone talked me out of.... why don't you address the issues instead? 

3. "what Satan wanted all along and he sure did get you good. " 

Oh I forgot how shame ridden and fearful the gospel truly is... Satan is out to get you and don't stray from whatever correlated church materials there are or the scriptures because social isolationists and the Devil await. This is what my life looks like now:

I raise my children, I take care of my home (not well enough) Kyle and I are madly in love, we watch a little TV at night sometimes religious vs. atheism debates and yell at the logical fallacies like its football, if we get to bed after the kids but before we are exhausted we make love, I read too much and blab some on facebook, I breastfeed two babies several times a day, I am building new friendships, I teach and help moms have great births, I take my kids to the park, sometimes we swim, soon I will have four in school, we barely scrap by but still try to give a little to things like the Wounded Warriors Project and Midwifery charities. I might say more bad words than I like but I do try hard to help others. 

If I am the product of Satan's evil grasp then the world should not be too worried. I think most would be ok with me as a neighbor. 

Public Service Announcment - Satan does not exist - I already addressed that here

4. " I hope that one day you will come back and feel the goodness and mercy of the Atonement of the Savior "

I find the concept of the Atonement illogical. I addressed that here 

And there is no need for you to hope or worry, I prayed haaard, hard, hard when I was going through this and I made it clear to any deities anywhere what I would need for belief. I'll let you know if they get back to me. Answers would also be good ... but those aren't to be had. Just ask this guy. 

5. "He loves you."

And Santa Claus loves you. 

6. "And He weeps for this choice you have made."

And... we are back to shame. This is the 'I know what Jesus thinks', I have peered into his thoughts and he told me that you made him cry. 

So thank you for coming to my blog and letting me know I made Jesus cry. Since you can know his thoughts can you also let me know if it made him cry when his Prophet Joseph Smith married a 14 year old girl, even though she didn't want to?


7. "But He also awaits with open arms."

Ok cool. Since ya'll are so tight and all, can you get him a message?

There are babies dying from malaria ...

right. 
now.


'preciate it. 

Sunday, July 28, 2013

What if you built your own religion?

Listening to a podcast one day the caller questioned whether or not humanism could properly address racism and its negative effects. Matt Dillahunty explained a concept that I had never been exposed to before and I can't stop thinking about it:

To address equality ...Think of any system (a company, a family, a school, a religion, government, city, state, country, world) And 'build' it not knowing what part of it you will be.

So if you were to build a company, you would imagine and design every facet and position within not knowing if when the business is set to go what part in it you will be. You will pull out of a hat your position - it could be CEO or it could be janitor. If the world really operated liked that could it be a lot better?

It has also been a strong confirmation to me that the church is not true.

If a man sat a drawing board with the instruction to build a religion but wouldn't know if he'd wake up a female in that faith... I don't think most religions would look the way that they do.

In Mormonism would men be comfortable making their covenants through their spouse?
Or spending more on the young men's youth programs than the young women's?
Or having only men sitting up on the stand?
Would the hierarchy of the church be all male?
Priesthood limited to men?
Would polygamy and polyandry have taken place?
Would the LGBT community be so poorly treated?

I also read that if all that is known about religion and science were to disappear tomorrow, science would eventually get back to where it is now, religion could return but it would be different.


Here is the segment that has been brain food to chew on.


I have spent a lot of time reading, watching religion debates and being absolutely inspired by Neil deGrasse Tyson, its fascinating what you can learn when you step out of your worldview and open up to new concepts




Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Nola's Blessing Day

On a sunny day we went to the park as a family to bless our sweet Nola with our thoughts and hopes for her. While we have had a major change in our life, abandoning all tradition is not something we were ready for, and this was very special because we could all participate in a way we couldn't in a traditional LDS baby blessing. 
We all said what we hoped for Nola's future, every single family member. Grandma talked about the bond with her even before her birth. Popa Tony expressed how very cool her name is. Nana spoke of her never ending smile and hope for that joy to continue. Brothers and Sisters all said "I love you" in their way and we are so glad you are in our family. Aunt Meg talked about how we need each other as a family and each other's help. Kyle and I expressed deep deep love for her, our baby. 

Since this was a first for me, I wrote mine down, and after all was said we released the balloons to celebrate her future.

Nola Anne this is a different blessing than the one I thought about for you, but you are way too loved to let this moment pass without welcoming your life and blessing you with our hopes for the future

You own no one any thing but being good natured to others and pursuing the happiness this world has to offer.

Go where you heart leads you while knowing there are all of us here around you now that love you more than you can comprehend