The REAL State of Union.

the union is pretty damn cool.

because its this chick's birthday today

Happy Birthday Mom.

you

are

the

best.

so annoying...

passwords.

they get out of control. paying bills online should be a breeze and it would be if it weren't for passwords, and security questions, and pick this picture, and no you need to add more letters/numbers to your password.

I can't stand it. Every month one messes me up - because they all ended up just a little bit different.

but don't be dumb enough to use one of these:

The top 10 most common passwords

1. 123456
2. 12345
3. 123456789
4. Password
5. iloveyou
6. princess
7. rockyou *
8. 1234567
9. 12345678
10. abc123

Moon Ring

Thanks to a phone call from Sarah, we went out during FHE to see this

very fascinating.

It was also fun to photograph. Kind of tricky, Kyle ended up in the driveway on his back.

3 sec shutter speed. fstop 2.8 for you photogs. He had to be really, really still but the camera still didn't want to focus in the dark.

so it says this means bad weather is on the way, and if you can count the stars inside the ring that is how many days until the bad weather starts.

Picture pages...

Baptism...

clean and perfect...

Honor roll...

they both made honor roll but he thought it would be dumb to hold up his certificate. Ella humored me.

Sisters...







Family...

Wendy, Aaron, Nana, Daddy, and his offspring...

Moving things with our minds...

random thoughts

Go Saints!!!

you made my stomach hurt even more than usual at the end of that game! I may not be able to stand the tension if I watch the Super Bowl. But no matter what happens I am so glad you guys are going there!

Watched a little ice skating too. Can't wait for the Olympics. I love, love, love boot cover tights on pretty ice skating ladies. I want to wear them so bad. Now granted I don't want to ice skate. I just want cool neat-o tights covering my ice skates!

and last random thought....

when you are riding down the road and have to puke... when you pull over do you?

1. get out of the car and puke

2. lean out of the car and puke

3. puke in the trashcan in your car

just wondering what the protocol is...

blog first, then blog hop.

That's my new rule. Because I have a thought to blog about something, and then someone smarter, cuter and more clever than I blogs about the exact same thing. And it almost makes me change my mind to blog myself.

But I am not today because this is an ode to Kyle and he deserves my lovey dovey musings about him. You are free to not read, but I am going on nonetheless....

Some of you said that your man would not have gone to walmart at 4 am for a pregnancy test (and a flashlight). Well that was just the tip of the iceberg. The first half of a pregnancy to me means one thing and one thing only: nausea. To Kyle it means more work. And Lord bless that mans' soul he does it all and then tells me how wonderful I am at the end of the day.

need some concrete examples of how awesome he is?

Last night at like 8:30 no less I had a bad hankerin for paula deen's goulash and even though he had worked all day and was working his second job tutoring students online, he got up and made me goulash. It was the first thing I had wanted all day. I had two bowls.

This past weekend he changed car oil, and lightbulbs, and brought a mini fridge to our bedroom. Made two trips to walmart to stock said mine fridge with different cravings (yoo-hoo and gatorade). He tells me I must stay hydrated this time around. That is our plan to avoid ER trips.

Every morning when his alarm goes off he hits snooze then cuddles up real close to me and says how much he hates leaving me every morning. Then when I am too sick and want to keep sleeping, he faces getting Ben and Ella ready, books signed, snacks made and them on the bus in time, running back upstairs to shower - then back down to feed Maiya and Cora, then on to find something that I may possibly want to eat and he brings that up to me. And somewhere along the way he changes Cora's diaper too.

Then he leaves for work, doesn't get home til 6:30, just in time for his 7pm job. Somewhere along the way he gets a little sleep, so he can wake up and take care of us all again the next morning.

wove, tru wove, its a blessed arrangement.

imagination

all in the last few days Maiya has told us all about her stepmom, that she used to have before Dad got married. Her name was Sandy Garza.

Then sometimes her stepmom is named Landy, and she was really pretty and around "when I was a little kid" but 'I had no daddy'.

Then tonight she was scaring herself with pictures of a goatman and a chupacabra from this book, she'd flip to the page and scream, shut the book and then open it again, flip to the page, scream, shut the book ........

We looked together online at things about chupacabras to dispel the reality in her mind. That's when she started to tell me about:

"this reminds me of when I was a little kid and I lived in the forest all by myself....

and I had a big fridge.....

and sometimes I'd cook myself bacon....."

I couldn't hear the rest I was laughing too hard.

We have children with faith.

Elder Oaks

We’re in danger today, it seems to me, of our members of the Church looking to worldly priorities in their decisions about childbearing. Instead of making those decisions in faith on the Lord’s promises and in reliance upon what we know of the great plan of happiness and the purpose of life, they look to other sources—television or prominent ideological gurus in the world today or even the pressure of their neighbors—to make decisions that are fundamental and eternal and need to be made prayerfully before the Lord.

Sister Beck

I think it is an issue of faith. We know of many places around the world where there are housing shortages. How do you find even a place to live as a new married couple, let alone bear children, when you can’t find a place to live? I think that this is a matter of faith. We don’t have children because we have money, because we have means. We have children with faith.

That feeling and attitude of seeking for the Lord’s blessings under the plan, I believe, will create miracles in the lives of people. If you’re in a place where there’s a housing shortage, the way will be opened up. Just as paying tithing is a matter of faith, so is having children a matter of faith. You don’t pay tithing with money; you don’t have children with money.

Sister Lant

You talked about being willing to do the work that it takes. Having children is a lot of work. And we have to not be afraid of that, because it’s that very element of working hard and being willing to do whatever it takes that makes us who we are. It’s the sacrifice that makes us who we are. I want to bear my testimony of the joy that comes from having families, from having children, because there’s not only the commandment from the Lord to do it, but there are great promised blessings.

want to read more from the roundtable discussion on families in the Worldwide Leadership Training of 2008? go here

Ezra Taft Benson - To the Mothers in Zion:

Do not curtail the number of your children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children--not possessions, not position, not prestige--are our greatest jewels.

Brigham Young emphasized: "There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?--To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 197).

Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. To have those sweet spirits come into the home is worth practically any sacrifice.

want to read more from President Benson's famous talk? go here

soooooooooooooo....

first off, we needed the flashlight because I was worried about the fish freezing to death at the house Alice had been renting and I wanted Kyle to check on them since the power had been turned off to the house. But the night before when I planned to send him there, I couldn't find the flashlight. Dreams of busting fish tanks in the cold and freezing fish is what had woke me up that night :)

But the bigger question that I am getting all the time is, ...... WAS THIS BABY PLANNED?

And simply put I am not sure how to answer. As you know gestation with Cora was no walk in the park. And that fact shadowed her first few days of life. Silly I know to be consumed with nursing a newborn and constantly having thoughts about future children. But I couldn't help it. Every little thing made my mind question..

Will this be the last tiny baby I nurse?

Will this be the last umbilical cord that I help finally come off?

Will this be that last time I wake at 2 am for some one to eat for the 10th time in one day?

Do I pass on the 0-3 month clothes or hoard them?

And having the fresh perspective of NOT being pregnant I did what nature prepares us for; I began to question if it was really that bad after all. The endorphins of childbirth are tremendous and within hours of her birth I was SURE I could not live without welcoming another baby into this world. Call me crazy. Go ahead.

With time Cora was not a newborn and my obsession with "to have another or not have another" was not quite as frantic. So I approached the topic more in prayer, at the temple, in late night discussions with Kyle and in conversations with women in whom I deeply valued their opinion on the matter. One woman told me to re-read Pres. Benson's talk 'to the mothers in Zion'. And I did.

And I felt calm whisperings in the temple.

And Kyle said things to pull at my heartstrings like "Cora is getting so big - she's not really a baby anymore... we need a baby wink wink..."

And I thought about morning sickness and panicked. unbridled panic

Then I'd look at all of my children and say to myself I'd be sick for 40 weeks all over again for any of them.

I looked objectively at my pregnancies. And I realized that although I am very, very sick for 20 weeks, I do have healthy pregnancies and easy deliveries. This is something my body can do even if my mind has to come to grips with it.

Then I remembered that despite getting pregnant easily in the past (namely Benjamin, Ella, and Maiya) It took me more than twice as long with Cora - approaching almost two years. And I thought I am only getting older. So I better get out of nature's way if this is to happen eventually.

So we made the monumental decision to do nothing. no birth control.

Up until a month ago, I was still nursing Cora on really lazy sleeping mornings. And figured that coupled with my age would slow the arrival of this hoped for and still somewhat feared blessing.

Cue insomnia and flashlight needs. Eventually happened much more rapidly than expected.

so to the planned or unplanned question I say both.

Now for the plan:

I dread most of all my potential dependence on others.

I feel good now but I know I won't soon. But no matter how bad it gets I fully intend to not lean so heavily on others this time around.

I have cooked and stocked my freezer with many complete meals for my family. We have minimized the amount of toys in the gameroom to theoretically minimize the mess. I have pared down the amount of clothes in dressers and am coaching Maiya to wear only one outfit a day (oh the horror). I am coaching all the kids to re-wear pajamas and re-use towels. Something they all think they are above (funny thing is they get it from me. I hate reusing towels)

So to all my dear supportive friends. I really do love you!!

But trust my bold self that I will call on you if needed. But don't spring a visit on me in my barfy stage. I'll be gross and embarrassed :)

was that rude?

I hope not.

cue Gloria Gaynor and my pregnancy theme song:

Giveaway!!

Practically Perfect Giveaway:

check it out here

coming soon.....

my thoughts on baby number five and answers to your burning questions.

Well hello clearblue...we meet again.

here is a little story for you.

one morning (if 3:30 am counts as morning) I woke up with sudden onset insomnia for the fourth night in a row.

insomnia makes you think funny thoughts.

thoughts like 'what if I'm pregnant'

Then you start counting... and you realize that day four of insomnia coincides with day four of no period.

so in the wee hours of the morning you dig under the sink for the old dollar store pregnancy test. do the deed, squint for what feels like eternity at a dark line and a shadowy second line.

an almost non-existent line.

non existent line, but line nonetheless.

but that's not good enough.

so you wake up your husband and send him to walmart at 4 am. As he walks out you remind him to get a flashlight because you can't seem to find one around the house.

Then he returns and as you wait for the fancy clearblue easy to flash pregnant or not pregnant, you laugh at your husband who says he felt stupid buying a pack of pregnancy tests and a flashlight at 4 am.

He says the cashier probably thought he'd just try to 'look up there' with the flashlight if the test didn't work.

I said no he thinks you knocked up your mistress and you guys have to sneak into the woods to have her pee on a stick there and you'll need a flashlight.

then the flashing hourglass finally stops blinking.

and it says.....

BWAH HA HA HA....

just kidding ...

it said

Pregnant.

We got away...

I love this man.

We got away for the whole weekend. THE WHOLE WEEKEND. That would be Friday morning to Sunday night.

It was wonderful.

We went to Beaumont to see one of our favorite comedians (Ron White) yeah, we know, if they gave comics ratings he'd be R, but he's funny. Funny is our weakness.

We lounged in the hot tub, slept in, enjoyed being away from the kids, but still talked about them all the time.

Late one night I said I miss the kids and Kyle said quietly "me too"

We found an authentic cajun restaurant, and I was in HEAVEN.

fried oysters, catfish, crawfish, stuffed shrimp, and gumbo (that was to die for!)

That picture is of Kyle enjoying some frog legs.

we passed this guy

can you guess who he is?

and we stopped at the jerky capital of the world.

Here's to doing that again in a couple of years :)

Love you, Babe.