We have children with faith.

Elder Oaks

We’re in danger today, it seems to me, of our members of the Church looking to worldly priorities in their decisions about childbearing. Instead of making those decisions in faith on the Lord’s promises and in reliance upon what we know of the great plan of happiness and the purpose of life, they look to other sources—television or prominent ideological gurus in the world today or even the pressure of their neighbors—to make decisions that are fundamental and eternal and need to be made prayerfully before the Lord.

Sister Beck

I think it is an issue of faith. We know of many places around the world where there are housing shortages. How do you find even a place to live as a new married couple, let alone bear children, when you can’t find a place to live? I think that this is a matter of faith. We don’t have children because we have money, because we have means. We have children with faith.

That feeling and attitude of seeking for the Lord’s blessings under the plan, I believe, will create miracles in the lives of people. If you’re in a place where there’s a housing shortage, the way will be opened up. Just as paying tithing is a matter of faith, so is having children a matter of faith. You don’t pay tithing with money; you don’t have children with money.

Sister Lant

You talked about being willing to do the work that it takes. Having children is a lot of work. And we have to not be afraid of that, because it’s that very element of working hard and being willing to do whatever it takes that makes us who we are. It’s the sacrifice that makes us who we are. I want to bear my testimony of the joy that comes from having families, from having children, because there’s not only the commandment from the Lord to do it, but there are great promised blessings.

want to read more from the roundtable discussion on families in the Worldwide Leadership Training of 2008? go here

Ezra Taft Benson - To the Mothers in Zion:

Do not curtail the number of your children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children--not possessions, not position, not prestige--are our greatest jewels.

Brigham Young emphasized: "There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?--To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 197).

Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. To have those sweet spirits come into the home is worth practically any sacrifice.

want to read more from President Benson's famous talk? go here

soooooooooooooo....

first off, we needed the flashlight because I was worried about the fish freezing to death at the house Alice had been renting and I wanted Kyle to check on them since the power had been turned off to the house. But the night before when I planned to send him there, I couldn't find the flashlight. Dreams of busting fish tanks in the cold and freezing fish is what had woke me up that night :)

But the bigger question that I am getting all the time is, ...... WAS THIS BABY PLANNED?

And simply put I am not sure how to answer. As you know gestation with Cora was no walk in the park. And that fact shadowed her first few days of life. Silly I know to be consumed with nursing a newborn and constantly having thoughts about future children. But I couldn't help it. Every little thing made my mind question..

Will this be the last tiny baby I nurse?

Will this be the last umbilical cord that I help finally come off?

Will this be that last time I wake at 2 am for some one to eat for the 10th time in one day?

Do I pass on the 0-3 month clothes or hoard them?

And having the fresh perspective of NOT being pregnant I did what nature prepares us for; I began to question if it was really that bad after all. The endorphins of childbirth are tremendous and within hours of her birth I was SURE I could not live without welcoming another baby into this world. Call me crazy. Go ahead.

With time Cora was not a newborn and my obsession with "to have another or not have another" was not quite as frantic. So I approached the topic more in prayer, at the temple, in late night discussions with Kyle and in conversations with women in whom I deeply valued their opinion on the matter. One woman told me to re-read Pres. Benson's talk 'to the mothers in Zion'. And I did.

And I felt calm whisperings in the temple.

And Kyle said things to pull at my heartstrings like "Cora is getting so big - she's not really a baby anymore... we need a baby wink wink..."

And I thought about morning sickness and panicked. unbridled panic

Then I'd look at all of my children and say to myself I'd be sick for 40 weeks all over again for any of them.

I looked objectively at my pregnancies. And I realized that although I am very, very sick for 20 weeks, I do have healthy pregnancies and easy deliveries. This is something my body can do even if my mind has to come to grips with it.

Then I remembered that despite getting pregnant easily in the past (namely Benjamin, Ella, and Maiya) It took me more than twice as long with Cora - approaching almost two years. And I thought I am only getting older. So I better get out of nature's way if this is to happen eventually.

So we made the monumental decision to do nothing. no birth control.

Up until a month ago, I was still nursing Cora on really lazy sleeping mornings. And figured that coupled with my age would slow the arrival of this hoped for and still somewhat feared blessing.

Cue insomnia and flashlight needs. Eventually happened much more rapidly than expected.

so to the planned or unplanned question I say both.

Now for the plan:

I dread most of all my potential dependence on others.

I feel good now but I know I won't soon. But no matter how bad it gets I fully intend to not lean so heavily on others this time around.

I have cooked and stocked my freezer with many complete meals for my family. We have minimized the amount of toys in the gameroom to theoretically minimize the mess. I have pared down the amount of clothes in dressers and am coaching Maiya to wear only one outfit a day (oh the horror). I am coaching all the kids to re-wear pajamas and re-use towels. Something they all think they are above (funny thing is they get it from me. I hate reusing towels)

So to all my dear supportive friends. I really do love you!!

But trust my bold self that I will call on you if needed. But don't spring a visit on me in my barfy stage. I'll be gross and embarrassed :)

was that rude?

I hope not.

cue Gloria Gaynor and my pregnancy theme song: