Why women don't breastfeed...

**note:
this post is old and I don't feel the same way in entirety that I did when I wrote this, I planned to come in here and delete, but like life that won't change the people that already read it. I am sorry if it hurt your feelings. I really am, I think all women need support in the hard job that is motherhood.

Last night the news reported that Enfamil is recalling formula after an infant death related to an undetected bacterium. And my first thought was:

You don't have to test breastmilk for bacterium.

And my mind wandered to a post on peaceful parenting facebook page asking why more women don't breastfeed. Granted initial breastfeeding rates are improving but our 6 month breastfeeding rates are pretty abysmal.

My thoughts... (Because you know I'm an expert in my own opinion):

1. Breastfeeding is HARD. It does not just come "natural". There can be latch issues - supply issues- cracked and bleeding nipples - thrush (detected and un-diagnosed) - engorgement - oversupply - tongue tie... etc.

2. It’s expected to be easy. And when its not (see above)- formula is very accessible these days - in fact formula companies have so cleverly sent you home with a can in your cute free diaper bag all but waiting for you to give up.

3. You may have never seen a baby breastfeed. And not just in the general I notice a woman is breastfeeding in the corner of the room, covered.  Other cultures and generations would have seen their mother, sister, aunt nurse a baby. You would see a latch and understand how a baby actually nurses. I remember not even being able to hold Benjamin right - I tried to hold him just like you hold a baby with his face completely upright cradled in my elbow.

4. You mother, grandmother, and Aunts mostly likely did not breastfeed and you have lost a wealth of information availability because of that. Breastfeeding is one facet of humanity that was almost completely eradicated in our modern society. There are few families with an experienced older breastfeeding mother on hand to ask questions. In fact older generations are more than willing to tell you "babies do just fine on formula - look at you!" or "that baby has teeth you're not going to keep breastfeeding are you?"

5. Modesty. How many women are not truly comfortable with their own bodies? Are you ready to handle your own breasts out in the open naked 12-15 times a day?

-How many women cover even in mother's rooms?

-How many go out to the car to nurse?

-How many go off alone to a room to nurse.

-Pre-pump so you can have a bottle and be acceptable in public.

-I read of one mom who ALWAYS fed her baby under a nursing cover so that the baby was trained to expect it and be comfortable with it even in public. How sad - babies are hardwired to gaze at mom while breastfeeding. And have you tried to eat with a blanket over your head lately?

6. Distorted sense of sexuality. I have noticed that tight clothes are A-OK - even at church the "tightness" of things are pretty much as tight as you can get before resorting to a catsuit. And what I call "stripper heels" have made quite a popular trend lately. I'm sorry but at some height of heel, it’s just immodest to me and screams of sexuality. But... breastfeeding - oh boy it just makes people sooooooo uncomfortable. Talk about feeding your baby uncovered in a public place and it comes up that your are tempting men into impure thoughts? I mean c'mon... That is insulting to men. But strut up the hall in a skin tight pencil skirt and stripper heels - "super-cute"

7. Bodily fluids. That is what some consider breastmilk and from the comments I get about my homebirth I see that bodily fluids make people come unglued... I can't tell you how many times I've heard - I don't want to touch my baby right after it’s born. Ewww.. "vag juices" p**sy juices" "blood - guts"

First off it’s not 'guts' it’s your baby and YOUR BODY. It reminds me of the analogy in Ezekiel of the abandoned baby in the field - a mother who does not touch her freshly born baby - "no one pitied thee":

 "And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to ^supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all.

 5 None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born.

 6 ¶And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live."

 It so sad to me of thinking of a mother not touching her baby till another person has wiped it off. I remember my hospital births dying a little inside that my baby was across the room on a warmer being mishandled instead of in my arms. I had to wait FIVE hours for them to bring me Cora after I got to post-partum. That is completely unacceptable.

8. Which brings me to this situation. What harm is being done at the most sacred time of birth? There is a very strong love cocktail that develops at the time of birth especially when private and uninterrupted that is almost impossible to achieve in a modern hospital. Look at the third picture down in this post. Thank God for such a capable grandmother assisting her grandbaby to the breast - but how damaged could the breastfeeding relationship be in situations lacking that support. This video with Michael Odent captures the situation perfectly:

"Immediately after birth there is a short period of time which will never happen again, which is critical for mother/baby attachment" ... "A complex cocktail of love hormones"

How much postpartum depression is caused by how the birth goes?  We understand interfering in the animal kingdom causing disastrous consequences.

** Now as a mother who has had both very high intervention and drugged birth and natural I can testify that the difference is profound and life changing. But I also believe in my heart that a mother's heart is strong and bonding and attachment can happen in vast circumstances - c-section, adoption, birth trauma, etc... I just don't think that moment should be so damaged by unnecessary interventions when it doesn't have to be. We leave animals alone at birth - we know it can damage their relationship. But we do it to women ALL THE TIME

9. Convenience.

Some find formula very convenient. They can return to their exercise regimen/dieting. They don't have to have accessible clothes or bras. They can leave their baby for looooong periods of time.

I used formula. I did not find it convenient at all.

It was expensive.

I had to wash bottles, nipples, collars, covers.

I had to find filtered water in every area I would be at or cart it with me.

Formula poop is capital N nasty.

Formula spit ups could build a hut if straw is added and stained everything beyond repair.

Formula constipated my babies to the point of actually tearing their anal opening. I had to "experiment" on my child to find the right formula brand and then the amount of laxative that was right for their system. None of which I give a second thought while breastfeeding.

And that's not even covering the susceptibility to life long allergies and lower immunity.

BUT despite all this when I said to one mom I've done both and breastfeeding is so much easier!

She replied - but I can get so much more done when I bottle feed and I returned a confused look.

 She said "you know I can prop the bottle and cook dinner."

I said "oh I didn't prop the bottle when I bottle fed"

this kind of reminds me of this:

So let’s see all a baby loses when a bottle is propped:

- They are not getting breastmilk (unless pumped)

-the don't get the warmth of someone's body

-they don't get to interact with the person

-they don't get looked at and gazed lovingly at

And let’s talk about the head helmets:

I have two opinions on this gadget. I think one of the reasons the rate of use is so high around here is I've heard that the company that created and designs them is a Texas company. Are there some sweet kickbacks for over prescribing them? I don't know someone else can follow the money trail on this one. 

 But my biggest theory is that babies are getting to sleep in their car seats an awful lot and are bottle fed, probably propped or holding it on their own.

 I also realize that the SIDS campaign of babies "back to sleep" is a HUGE contributor. Benjamin had some of the flat head thing too - he slept in his car seat way too much... Live and learn. When he was on formula at about 9 months old a few times I held the bottle for him while he stayed in his car seat. And I regret it.

10. My last and final opinion is that formula is too easily available and commercialized. Formula companies should not have any access to new moms and should not have advertising rights. Formula should be a last option and if not prescription only at least close to it. Even with the gains in breastfeeding there is still more stigma to breastfeeding than bottle feeding.

 And if you have strong opinions against bottle feeding you are judgmental and mean. When that is not true. It’s the babies that my heart goes out to. I know mothering is hard, very, very hard.

 But like TFB puts it "We can't handle the truth about breastfeeding."

Babies die from formula. It’s rare but it’s true.

Formula is an amazing thing to have when absolutely necessary (The story of Mr. Nestle creating formula for the neighbor baby who was dying because his mother did not have milk is touching) but my heart aches for when my babies have had cold silicone nipples instead of warm flesh. Powdered milk from another mammal instead of from mom. How much do you love powdered milk?

Babies deserve the boob and to do that women need more support.

More lactation consultants. More education.

More comfort with each other to teach and show how it works.

Less stigma.

Congratulate each other for breastfeeding. It is an insult to say to me "well breastfeeding comes easy for you" NO mam. I fought for it. I worked hard and persevered.

To the lady in the restaurant who thanked me for BF'ing in public - you are awesome!

Boobies rock - lets use em!!!