Thursday, December 22, 2011

Why women don't breastfeed...

**note:
this post is old and I don't feel the same way in entirety that I did when I wrote this, I planned to come in here and delete, but like life that won't change the people that already read it. I am sorry if it hurt your feelings. I really am, I think all women need support in the hard job that is motherhood.


Last night the news reported that Enfamil is recalling formula after an infant death related to an undetected bacterium. And my first thought was:

You don't have to test breastmilk for bacterium.

And my mind wandered to a post on peaceful parenting facebook page asking why more women don't breastfeed. Granted initial breastfeeding rates are improving but our 6 month breastfeeding rates are pretty abysmal.

My thoughts... (Because you know I'm an expert in my own opinion):

1. Breastfeeding is HARD. It does not just come "natural". There can be latch issues - supply issues- cracked and bleeding nipples - thrush (detected and un-diagnosed) - engorgement - oversupply - tongue tie... etc.

2. It’s expected to be easy. And when its not (see above)- formula is very accessible these days - in fact formula companies have so cleverly sent you home with a can in your cute free diaper bag all but waiting for you to give up.

3. You may have never seen a baby breastfeed. And not just in the general I notice a woman is breastfeeding in the corner of the room, covered.  Other cultures and generations would have seen their mother, sister, aunt nurse a baby. You would see a latch and understand how a baby actually nurses. I remember not even being able to hold Benjamin right - I tried to hold him just like you hold a baby with his face completely upright cradled in my elbow.

4. You mother, grandmother, and Aunts mostly likely did not breastfeed and you have lost a wealth of information availability because of that. Breastfeeding is one facet of humanity that was almost completely eradicated in our modern society. There are few families with an experienced older breastfeeding mother on hand to ask questions. In fact older generations are more than willing to tell you "babies do just fine on formula - look at you!" or "that baby has teeth you're not going to keep breastfeeding are you?"

5. Modesty. How many women are not truly comfortable with their own bodies? Are you ready to handle your own breasts out in the open naked 12-15 times a day?
-How many women cover even in mother's rooms?
-How many go out to the car to nurse?
-How many go off alone to a room to nurse.
-Pre-pump so you can have a bottle and be acceptable in public.
-I read of one mom who ALWAYS fed her baby under a nursing cover so that the baby was trained to expect it and be comfortable with it even in public. How sad - babies are hardwired to gaze at mom while breastfeeding. And have you tried to eat with a blanket over your head lately?

6. Distorted sense of sexuality. I have noticed that tight clothes are A-OK - even at church the "tightness" of things are pretty much as tight as you can get before resorting to a catsuit. And what I call "stripper heels" have made quite a popular trend lately. I'm sorry but at some height of heel, it’s just immodest to me and screams of sexuality. But... breastfeeding - oh boy it just makes people sooooooo uncomfortable. Talk about feeding your baby uncovered in a public place and it comes up that your are tempting men into impure thoughts? I mean c'mon... That is insulting to men. But strut up the hall in a skin tight pencil skirt and stripper heels - "super-cute"

7. Bodily fluids. That is what some consider breastmilk and from the comments I get about my homebirth I see that bodily fluids make people come unglued... I can't tell you how many times I've heard - I don't want to touch my baby right after it’s born. Ewww.. "vag juices" p**sy juices" "blood - guts"
First off it’s not 'guts' it’s your baby and YOUR BODY. It reminds me of the analogy in Ezekiel of the abandoned baby in the field - a mother who does not touch her freshly born baby - "no one pitied thee":
 "And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all.
 None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born.
 ¶And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live."
 It so sad to me of thinking of a mother not touching her baby till another person has wiped it off. I remember my hospital births dying a little inside that my baby was across the room on a warmer being mishandled instead of in my arms. I had to wait FIVE hours for them to bring me Cora after I got to post-partum. That is completely unacceptable.

8. Which brings me to this situation. What harm is being done at the most sacred time of birth? There is a very strong love cocktail that develops at the time of birth especially when private and uninterrupted that is almost impossible to achieve in a modern hospital. Look at the third picture down in this post. Thank God for such a capable grandmother assisting her grandbaby to the breast - but how damaged could the breastfeeding relationship be in situations lacking that support. This video with Michael Odent captures the situation perfectly:


"Immediately after birth there is a short period of time which will never happen again, which is critical for mother/baby attachment" ... "A complex cocktail of love hormones"

How much postpartum depression is caused by how the birth goes?  We understand interfering in the animal kingdom causing disastrous consequences.

** Now as a mother who has had both very high intervention and drugged birth and natural I can testify that the difference is profound and life changing. But I also believe in my heart that a mother's heart is strong and bonding and attachment can happen in vast circumstances - c-section, adoption, birth trauma, etc... I just don't think that moment should be so damaged by unnecessary interventions when it doesn't have to be. We leave animals alone at birth - we know it can damage their relationship. But we do it to women ALL THE TIME


9. Convenience.
Some find formula very convenient. They can return to their exercise regimen/dieting. They don't have to have accessible clothes or bras. They can leave their baby for looooong periods of time.
I used formula. I did not find it convenient at all.
It was expensive.
I had to wash bottles, nipples, collars, covers.
I had to find filtered water in every area I would be at or cart it with me.
Formula poop is capital N nasty.
Formula spit ups could build a hut if straw is added and stained everything beyond repair.
Formula constipated my babies to the point of actually tearing their anal opening. I had to "experiment" on my child to find the right formula brand and then the amount of laxative that was right for their system. None of which I give a second thought while breastfeeding.
And that's not even covering the susceptibility to life long allergies and lower immunity.

BUT despite all this when I said to one mom I've done both and breastfeeding is so much easier!
She replied - but I can get so much more done when I bottle feed and I returned a confused look.
 She said "you know I can prop the bottle and cook dinner."
I said "oh I didn't prop the bottle when I bottle fed"

this kind of reminds me of this:

So let’s see all a baby loses when a bottle is propped:
- They are not getting breastmilk (unless pumped)
-the don't get the warmth of someone's body
-they don't get to interact with the person
-they don't get looked at and gazed lovingly at
And let’s talk about the head helmets:


I have two opinions on this gadget. I think one of the reasons the rate of use is so high around here is I've heard that the company that created and designs them is a Texas company. Are there some sweet kickbacks for over prescribing them? I don't know someone else can follow the money trail on this one. 

 But my biggest theory is that babies are getting to sleep in their car seats an awful lot and are bottle fed, probably propped or holding it on their own.
 I also realize that the SIDS campaign of babies "back to sleep" is a HUGE contributor. Benjamin had some of the flat head thing too - he slept in his car seat way too much... Live and learn. When he was on formula at about 9 months old a few times I held the bottle for him while he stayed in his car seat. And I regret it.

10. My last and final opinion is that formula is too easily available and commercialized. Formula companies should not have any access to new moms and should not have advertising rights. Formula should be a last option and if not prescription only at least close to it. Even with the gains in breastfeeding there is still more stigma to breastfeeding than bottle feeding.
 And if you have strong opinions against bottle feeding you are judgmental and mean. When that is not true. It’s the babies that my heart goes out to. I know mothering is hard, very, very hard.
 But like TFB puts it "We can't handle the truth about breastfeeding."


Formula is an amazing thing to have when absolutely necessary (The story of Mr. Nestle creating formula for the neighbor baby who was dying because his mother did not have milk is touching) but my heart aches for when my babies have had cold silicone nipples instead of warm flesh. Powdered milk from another mammal instead of from mom. How much do you love powdered milk?

Babies deserve the boob and to do that women need more support.
More lactation consultants. More education.
More comfort with each other to teach and show how it works.
Less stigma.
Congratulate each other for breastfeeding. It is an insult to say to me "well breastfeeding comes easy for you" NO mam. I fought for it. I worked hard and persevered.
To the lady in the restaurant who thanked me for BF'ing in public - you are awesome!

Boobies rock - lets use em!!!




15 comments:

Amanda said...

I agree with a lot of this;) I always fed in public...I was not going to feed my baby in a bathroom...those uncomfortable could leave. seriously.

Meg said...

I give a HUGE CONGRATS to the moms in my shelter. They also know that they can freely breast feed in my office at any time. Of the mothers here only a few breastfeed. There was a moment that you would have loved where almost all of my breast mommies where breastfeeding at the same time and none of the needed a blanket, their shirt covered enough and the babies could still see their mommies. I WOULD LOVE for someone to come a teach about breastfeeding here. People don't have the money for formula BUT 90% of them use it, and it amazes me becuase they could save so much! and get more from WIC

Meg said...

I always give a HUGE CONGRATS to my breastfeeding mommies at the shelter. Too many women in poverty just DON'T have the education about breastfeeding and they don't realize how much it could help with them with their kids in the long run.
My office has become known as a safe haven for my breastfeeding mommies. They know they can feed their children without weird looks or judgement in my office, in fact they get wonderful praise. I always think it is nice when I have two or more mommies breast feeding and we are all talking and chatting like it is the most natural thing in the world.... because IT IS:)( and BTW Janie, none of them use blankets in my office either.)

AmberLou said...

I went to Walgreens to buy breastpads the other day, and the little Catalina machine printed out a coupon for Similac. I was so pissed. So. Pissed. New moms don't need the temptation.

Jess said...

Almost 20 months here and still going strong :)

And, let me tell you...breastfeeding has not been easy for me. Even though I've done it three times now. We're talking torn nipples here. 6 weeks of excruciating pain. Latching was not the problem...anatomy. My body is made to give birth quickly and easily, but not to breastfeed easily. Cracked nipples, mastitis, thrush, dairy allergies. I've done it all.

Still worth it. One of the best things I've ever done.

When Clara was a newborn, it got so bad that I had to pump for a week to heal a little bit. I remember feeling a little self conscious bringing a bottle to church because I was sitting across from you :) I didn't want you to think I'd given up!!

Janie said...

You are an amazing woman!!

I have had very, very painful nipples, not to the point of cracking though so I can't really imagine. But then again I do pump a fair deal in the beginning due to flat nipples, major over-production and engorgement and when I fight thrush which was too damn often in the past.

I remember with my very difficult start to breastfeeding I didn't even want to go to church for the fear of 'doing it wrong' in front of other women - that I had the tendency to spray milk - real nice.

I guess that is where I wish more support was freely accessible - but asking about someone's breastfeeding habits its almost akin to asking about their sex life or telling them about yours.

I try not to care about babies with bottles - totally necessary at points, I know many moms who exclusively pump and bottle feed - and that is great!! If I never got a good latch I'd do the exact same thing.

but babies still strapped into their carseat - mom with the three fingers holding the end of the bottle while the sunshade is still pulled down...

I'm just like come on... hand over the baby. for reals.

** a side not here - I was an OT, I've interned in situations helping moms with disabilities, multiple babies, etc feed their baby there is ALWAYS an exception to the rule - where a propped bottle, a baby in a carseat instead of moms arms is the best possible scenario for the circumstances. I'm not talking about those situations here.

Ryann said...

So agree! Breastfeeding was what worked for us and like many others, we had many obstacles. but it was so worth it!

Janie-when are you going to go get certified to teach this??? You would be AMAZING!

Janie said...

I know right??????

I dream of being a:

bradley method teacher, midwife and lactation consultant all the time

Nana to Oz said...

I breastfed Aaron for a little while (about a week!) and got so frustrated I went to formula -- no one to help, & like many I thought it "would come naturally" to know what to do. Had a lot more success with Kyle -- 9 or 10 months! And I remember my best friend and I (she had a boy 2 months younger) both nursing in McDonald's one day covered in "receiving" blankets. I even fed him on the bus once! What a rebel! Ha ha!!

P.S. Janie, I would love to see you live that dream someday!! I always wanted to be a midwife and let my dream go by - to my regret!

Wendi said...

I LOVED breastfeeding!!! Seriously the best thing ever. I had a very rough start with my first-flat nipples. It was so hard for a month, then she was good. I have had 3 distinct experiences-hard with first, good with second, and third was in NICU, so straight to the pump resulting in blisters on both nipples. I nursed him through it when I could finally nurse him. I have thought A LOT about being a lactation consultant since I have had the array of experience. I always felt I could nurse twins or triplets I had so much milk-and I would spray, and leak, too:) And when you are a nicely endowed woman, breastfeeding in public was not easy! I would get so jealous of all the tiny gals who could get the baby to latch and walk around, etc. Ahhhh, nursing-love the topic:)

Janie said...

Oh Wendi you do have a wealth of knowledge,
I'm not up to date on qualifications now but when Benjamin was born you had to be an RN to be a lactation consultant. Why?? who needs to know organic chem to help a woman breastfeed - silly to think you had to have that degree but no experience nursing.

And Yes!!! Plus size nursing - that would be my specialty - I was thinking about blogging about that next!!

Nikki said...

I loved breastfeeding my babies. And I'm totally for it. BIG boobs for me... NO Thanks. That is really really really hard thing for me to get over each time I've had a baby. I'm normally a small B.... D to DD when prego/nursing. And it's 1000% miserable for me the entire time I have them. I hate having boobs.

I nursed both my boys as long as my body kept up. But when you have a starving baby (austin) who literally wanted to eat every half hour even after nursing on each side twice (and believe me, he sucked me dry), it's time to supplement. My body just could not keep up with demand. Logan was a whole different story. His severe reflux issues made it nearly impossible for him to get what he needed while nursing. I'd nurse him and he would literally puke up everything he was eating as he was eating (all over my boobs/me). And then he'd be starving again. And I'd have nothing to give him. Talk about insane frustration and misery as his mom, feeling horrible that I can't even provide what he needed. The formula game wasn't any better though. He is soooo picky about nipples and texture, it was a huge struggle to even get him to take a bottle to begin with (even if I pumped). I knew he had a milk allergy the second he took his first suck off a bottle of formula. The second it touch his tounge he was puking like crazy and puffy in the face. Scary stuff. Soy formula saved us. And once we figured out how he needed to be fed, and got him something he wasn't allergic to, he started to thrive like a champion.

The whole helment thing... While it may or may not be over prescribed, it seriously benefited Logan (I still need to post about his experience). I actually can guarantee that his flat head was not a result of neglectful actions. With his serious reflux, he had to be proped up. There was no other option because he would throw up everywhere. He slept (still does) on a wedge in his crib, on his back. Carrying him in a sling every waking hour was not an option for me (of course that's ideal, but not realistic), although I wore my moby wrap a TON with him. I think every situation is different. And trust me, no parent likes shelling out $5000-$10000 so that their kid can have a "normal" shaped head and avoid possible consequences of not doing so. But we did. And I'm soooo grateful we did.

But like you said, there's an acception to everything.

Janie said...

Yes there are always exceptions -

La Leche League has really great resources for how to increase your supply and change diet for sensitive babies.

You supply was also probably effected by your dieting which you have commented about on here before when your baby was nursing age.

I agree with the post at peaceful parenting about the order of best options:
1. mom's milk from the breast
2. mom's milk from bottle
3. human donor milk (in short supply in US but hopefully this will change in time)
4. then formula

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/04/watch-your-language.html

Kleanteeth said...

Breastfeeding was great. It was hard. My kids would spit up blood from cracked nipples, things got ugly, but it's connecting and cheap. I, however, am not comfortable flipping a boob out in public. Doesn't mean I am uncomfortable with my body, I am uncomfortable having complete strangers stare at my boobs, yes. A boob is still a boob and I would not be comfortable with my boob hanging out now, just becaue baby is nearby doesn't make me more comfortable.
And for the bodily fluids, yeah it's mine, but it grosses me out. So are boogers, ear wax, puss, urine, and crap, but I do not want to play with those things or take a swim with them. No, I don't want to hold a slimy, bloody baby. Do I think I missed a critical moment, no. Do I think this causes post-partum depression, never.

Janie said...

see there you missed a point again, the baby is the one who missed out because you wouldn't hold it... not you.

So if you delivered precipitously on the side of the road. you'd just stare at your nasty baby till someone else cleaned it up for you?

The story of the Savior's birth must nast you out completely - not a rubber glove in sight and swaddling clothes mentioned but no bath?

Postpartum depression on the other hand can begin with birth trauma... different issue.

Does a mom who doesn't waterbirth at home not bond with her baby - hell no. does a mom who is drugged to the hilt and wakes up 24 hours after her baby is born umm yeah there can be some problems there.

As for the rest you sound like freaked out Dr. Masterson -- I think I already covered that topic lest you think I'm "obsessed"