when a blog post unravels...

** 10 weeks 5 days: sick, sick, sick. not functioning but mind is getting clearer and thinking like mad on too many things that I shouldn't (like planning this birth, had a meeting with the new midwife planned and that morning when I could. not. stop. throwing up her assistant called to say she was at a birth. Did I want to come at noon. I said no I'm too sick I'll call when I feel better. I haven't called. Was it a sign, I think not I am leaning toward midwife. But I have also told Kyle we could go to the trust birth conference in April and attend a newborn resuscitation course from one of the best midwives in the country and feel more confident doing this ourselves... I don't know... brain in a pretzel.) I have been consumed with thoughts on my church's position on gay marriage and feeling a shift in perspective within myself. This post concerned me greatly.

And did you know big bloggers MckMama and Dooce are getting divorced? I kind of only read Cjane and NieNie that much anymore even though I have to calm myself down every time I click there knowing that they cut their newborn baby boys :( Even though if they have researched natural childbirth they SURELY have to know better than to be cutters...

Then there has been Whitney - so sad. And Elizabeth Smart getting married - so happy. Then a lengthy email exchange with the busy southern OB who I linked to in a previous post on why its not ok to make fun of fat patients on your blog. He didn't get it. In case you need reminding again OB's can be a dense scary bunch - GET A MIDWIFE!!! (not a medwife under scrutiny of a dense OB, a midwife, preferably a homebirth midwife)

I had in my mind this whole cerebral post on autonomy and do we really have it in many areas of our life... but another day. I don't feel good.


So I will just write a quick update on my kids since this is after all a family blog... sort of:

Benjamin

- Has been first chair in Tuba consistently for a few weeks now.
-Is working on a BIG Rube Goldberg machine project for science class and I have been cussing the skies that its due during my height of morning sickness.
-He seems so much older to me lately and looking older too. But I remember that he is still a little boy when the trash he was supposed to take out is still in the living room the next morning because he didn't want to go out in the dark.
-He started writing a book - its about vampires and actually very good. I hope he finishes it.

Ella.
-Oh Ella My little grown up from the womb.
- Not to be outdone she started a book too about an adopted girl from China who saves her allowance to fly to china and find her birth parents. I said Ella you should probably google a ticket to china - its quite a bit more than you can save up from allowances. Not to be defeated - the main character then raids her college savings to afford the trip - so the book continues.
- She loves to lip synch to Adele and Taylor Swift. I prefer Adele. (Is Adele still smoking? COME ON girl! stop it already)
-I told someone I let Ella and Maiya go to the park alone. I think her head went up in flames like ghostrider. Hey Free-range isn't for everyone. (PS. Elizabeth Smart was taken from her BED... you cant control every risk) Life is to be lived to not be afraid of.

Maiya.
-In  few short weeks she got her hair cut short and lost both front teeth. I can barely recognize her.
-She is a reading champ - in fact she can read upside down and backwards the best (ummm yes that is a sign of a slight problem which we have suspected.)
-The girl is uber patient with all of her friends of which she has many but is a little short with us
-She is super artistic - with any medium - you name it she's cutting, painting drawing, sculpting

Cora.
-Clothes still optional.
-watching way too much TV while I am sick. Guilt successfully induced.
-LOVES bathtime HATES bedtime - hence has ended up in our bed quite often lately
-Late talker who doesn't stop to breath now she is a stream of endless chatter. Some side splitting funny stuff.

PJ
-still breastfeeding.
-still NOT walking. He totally can. He's done it and we have video proof but he just chooses not to - why when you can do this super fast crawling and cool knee scoot thing. I am hoping he is walking by time I am done being sick and we go back to church and he's in nursery because that would be a tad bit embarrassing.
-super, super sweet baby and if I have babied him too much I consider that nothing but positive.

Boo
-The name we have called the baby to be.
Because as the kids say just like Boo Radley the baby is pale white and stays inside all the time. Just no treats left in trees for us.
We are strongly considering NOT finding out the sex of the baby this time around until you know, the actual birthday.
But I am thinking boy.
Just because we have the most beautiful girl name picked out: Nola Anne  - there it is, I have claimed it DON'T STEAL IT!!
Boy names: none.


see it will be a boy.