Meg and Justin get married Part three

 the end :)

Meg and Justin get married Part two

Things got better.

First Cheryl at Surrey House saved the day, Kyle brought in all the decorations in record time and she said these beautiful words to me "we can take it from here" and she took care of every single centerpiece and various other things with me barely even explaining what everything was... I can't speak highly enough of these ladies - and Meg and Justin's choice of wedding venue - It was perfect even with the light rain going on. And... we didn't forget anything!

Adrenaline kicked in and Meg starting coming around, she wisely decided that she would only treat her pain with advil from there on out. My zofran kicked in and and we got ourselves prettied up. (Side note here - from 10 pm on I had tried to get Meg to take zofran for the nausea but she was too scared of medicine at that point and refused... oh well)

Too much anxiety remained for much of the typical teariness that usually ensues while helping the bride get ready, but I do have to say for the record she looked beautiful and I was overwhelmed with happiness.

At this point we were going on 24 hours of joking about the wedding scene in Sixteen candles... ya know where the tipsy bride marries the greasy bohunk? Here, this scene:

The time was drawing near and that scene was in the back of my mind, I hoped the lack of food and abundance of vomiting had not wiped Meg out completely. I had to get her down the aisle and pray she didn't throw up on Justin's shoes during the ceremony.

We stepped outside of the bridal cottage and it was gorgeous, I was afraid we had made the wrong call to move the outdoor wedding in.. We proceeded to the back of the house and just as we got on the covered deck it started to rain.  Good call after all.

We were ready.

There was a packed house and music playing. One small detail... we were missing Justin's niece, the flower girl.  Meg started to lose her temper in fantastic fashion. Intervention on back porch. Meg calms.

I proceed to tell Cora about 1000 times that yes she does have to hold her flowers after all. The exact flowers she has been begging to hold since they were delivered.

Flower Girl arrives. In we go.

And.....

It was perfect.

My two sick girls aided by children's ibuprofen walked down the aisle with total grace. Their older sister followed looking older and more beautiful than she should be allowed. My first born, handsome son stood as a groomsman at the front and Justin looked quite snazzy even though I admit to doubting the suspenders at first.

Meg followed me in and the ceremony proceeded swimmingly!

Mom gave her daughter away. (tears)

Their self written vows were amazing. (another idea I was not totally on board with... I know I know I'm opinionated and bossy) but it was very sweet and both their personalities fit in perfectly.

I loved all of it. And just like I promised Meg, it went better than the rehearsal, even considering all we went through in the previous days.

And then it was done they were officially introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Fowler and the exit march music played...

Meg and Justin headed down the aisle.  Was I supposed to follow closely behind or do I wait? I debated and as I debated Meg's heel caught in her dress and she stumbled and then instantly recovered...

But then - the day caught up to her and she felt dizzy and faint and ...

sat down at the next available chair.

I felt like a complete failure to the entire industry of bridesmaids. I didn't follow closely. I should have followed closely then I would have taken care of her train and it never would have caught.. There it was the Sixteen Candles moment we had all joked about.

Meg said "you know what? Justin take off my shoes" and he did, she composed herself and the march continued.

No big deal. I threw her shoes under a table somewhere and they were history for the rest of the day.

The rest was one fantastic party: Old friends, new friends, Hugs, pictures, good food, even better cake, dancing...

Cora and Maiya found the sofa and fell asleep, followed by PJ.

It all turned out to be a very, very lovely day, a great start to a great marriage. "making memories" for real!!

Part three will be pictures :)

Meg and Justin get married Part one.

Or as Cora would say "Aunt Meg and Gustin get marwied at the wedding..."

I know I know I haven't been blogging.  Just wasn't in the mood. But I so want to try to capture what my baby sister's wedding was like and I decided to put it in three parts because there is so much and it started off feeling somewhat akin to the fiery gates of hell. (no disrespect Meg or Justin)

Wednesday February 29th aka Leap Day: I wished for death. I came down with the flu. Bonafide flu on top of morning sickness that was starting to get slightly better. I had a fever of 103 and coughing constantly which snowballed almost each and every time into gagging then vomiting. I called Kyle home from work and called the midwife's office (side note here - I called the midwife that I wasn't sure if I wanted to hire Kathleen Mayorga because at this point we were pretty sure we were going to do this unassisted) As soon as someone answered the phone I broke down in tears. Like the ugly heaving sobbing tears. "heave... I'm sick so sick and then I got real sick on top of pregnancy sick and my sister gets married in TEN DAYS and I need to get better" She said come into tomorrow at 9 ... so I did and clicked with the midwife and got meds of the prescription variety.

And the days went on inching closer to the wedding. I worried that I wouldn't fit in my dress (I did.) On March 7th I hit 13 weeks and my mind wandered to minutes after my pregnancy test came up positive to when I checked my due date to see exactly how pregnant I'd be come the wedding. And then here I was 13 weeks... and feeling as crappy as I was afraid I'd feel.

Thursday March 8th (two days till the wedding) Ella gets home from school and in the front room where the dogs reside when in their kennels ... Ella shrieks "OH MY GOSH MOM WE CAN'T HAVE THE WEDDING ITS ALL RUINED" I walk into to see that the dogs have pulled in the bag of Meg's wedding accessories and chewed up EVERY. SINGLE. personalized napkin. My mind wouldn't process it at first - I thought there had to be an extra bag with more somewhere but no. Then I saw next to the kennel a full stack and I picked them up with hope in my heart. They had every corner perfectly chewed off.
Paper Lion saved the day and agreed to a rush order that was even more rushed than ever and we had personalized beautiful napkins ready the next afternoon. ($$$$)

Thursday night Meg comes to stay here until the wedding. Says at dinner her tooth is bothering her a little bit. (thinking castaway?, yeah you should)
Maiya has a fever of 102 before bed. Everyone gets medicine and we go to bed.

4 am Friday morning (day before the wedding) Meg wakes me up in tears at the side of my bed - Her tooth is in raging pain she can't stand it AT. ALL. Should she call the emergency dentist? I talk her into waiting until office opens.  Office opens they take her in - Major abscessed tooth - too infected to treat that day she is sent away with vicodin and antibiotics.

10 am we get pedicures which would have been 1000% relaxing if not for the two women who brought crying babies to their pedicure. Cause fight on facebook over that - never said I wasn't opinionated.

1pm rehearsal. Meg's pants catch on car door and rip in the back. She cries.

At rehearsal I can tell Cora is getting sick.

After rehearsal meal, Meg starts getting violently nauseous from vicodin. I'm not feeling good either.
Mom drives her two about to vomit daughters around trying to tie up loose ends.

**At this point there is a boatload of loose ends - flowers for cake, favors to assemble, vows to write, shoes to buy, suspenders to find, water pearls to soak...

We get the flowers for the cake and call it a day. We get home and Meg starts vomiting. Kyle meanwhile has cleaned the entire house in case we get company here from any extended family (in the end no one comes over - not funny he says)

Kyle and I assemble favors and Benjamin walks downstairs to say goodnight. And tell me that his eye hurts... Raging pink eye and Cora's fever is confirmed. More meds.

The next morning (Wedding is at 11 supposed to be outside) I go to wake up Meg at 6 - I turn on the light and she looks rather zombie-ish. Says she hasn't slept a wink.  I go get ready next I find her in her underwear at my kitchen table saying she's too nauseous to move, but then does move, runs to vomit.

Here I am the place I have been praying about since finding out I'd be in morning sickness territory at my sisters wedding, and she is the one in the bathroom puking. It was surreal and terrifying.

Phone call to made to Sarah.. because she is my voice of reason when I am freaking out. Within a half hour Dylan and Kyle give Meg a priesthood blessing.

She manages to shower and Kyle and the rest of us get everything in the cars - I am sure we will have forgot something.

Pretty soon I get Meg in the car and we leave - much later than planned...

Surrey House calls to ask if we are moving the outdoor wedding in... I try to ask Meg but she is vomiting... AGAIN.

Did I mention I was terrified?

We all arrive - two sick kids, one with pink eye, a nauseous matron of honor and a vomiting bride...


to be continued...

(meg on the way to be marwied, that bwessed awanagement with no cold feet but an abcessed tooth and a bad reaction to vicodin.)

.-

Full body shivers

Let me set the stage for you ...

I am in what is one of the hardest stages and then I get the flu

Awful beyond words

But today I was on couch trying to come back to life ... In my nightgown

Ella was home from school because she didn't feel all that good but really I could use the help

The phone rings its the school nurse with Benjamin

"Benjamin has a bug" Ella yells across the room

I get on the phone

"Your son came in complaining of an earache so I checked his ear and there is a bug in it"

Not wanting to process this I said " he has a bug?"

"no it's a BUG looks like a beetle and it's alive deep in his ear canal"

I screamed into the phone

"I am not going to tell him I don't want him to freak out"

So now to make a long story short:

Nana was already on road close to school takes Benjamin to urgent care

He's told it's a bug he says yeah I thought it was a fly - only freaks about a possible finger prick at doctors

I, in the mean time call Kyle, Mom, sister, and friend in TOTAL freak out mode

Turned out to be ok

There was a bug a teeny tiny little black gnat like June buggy thing easily bubbled out with hydrogen peroxide.

Benjamin thought it was cool, uncomfortable but cool

"I could feel it trying to fly out"

I might need therapy

PS. If you were wondering it costs $155 to get a bug removed from your son's ear

If things are to ever change...

This is Toronto's health initiative right now for children's health and its stunningly brilliant and my philosophy to a "T"
such a contrast to Georgia sanctioned bullying of fat children on billboards:
Please read and take to heart. Remember that your "fat" talk is being heard by the next generation:

YOUR KIDS ARE LISTENING


What you say and do has a big impact on how your child feels
about food and physical activity, and can also affect your child’s
self-esteem. You are the most important role model for your
young child.
Children form attitudes at an early age. Much of what they
learn before age six will stay with them for the rest of their
lives. Remember to:
• Emphasize what’s special and unique about your child,
yourself and others.
• Avoid criticizing your body, your child’s body or the bodies
of other people.
• Let your child decide how much to eat. You decide
what food to offer and when and where to eat.
• Never use food as a reward or punishment.
• Set limits on your child’s TV, computer and video game time
and go outside to play together instead.
• Praise your child’s actions, behaviours and abilities often.


SOME THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND
• Active parents have active children. Instead of just
watching your child play, join in.
• Teach your child that body images used by the media are not
realistic. Healthy bodies come in many shapes and sizes.
• Focus on what your daughter does well, not her body shape.
Research shows that fathers play an important role in how
their daughters see themselves.
• Children learn healthy habits from their parents. When it
comes to healthy eating, physical activity and self-esteem,
be a positive role model for your young child.
Being a parent isn’t always easy. If you find you could
use a little help, contact us.
Call Toronto Health Connection at 416-338-7600

From HERE


and a great post by Ragen on getting moms to lose weight before becoming pregnant: Why not just teach them how to fly?...

" the biggest problem with this situation is that it doesn’t matter if being thin would be better for women who want to become pregnant because there is not a single proven method to make them thin. If women with narrow hips have worse pregnancy outcomes the solution isn’t to try to make them have wider hips.  If short women have more negative outcomes the solution is not to try to make them tall.  It might also be better for pregnant women to be able to fly but nobody is running a “Flying Preggos Initiatives”.  Because there is absolutely no evidence that we can get any of those things done.  Just like there is no evidence that we can make fat people thin."

and...

The same group who created those awful billboards is training hospital personnel on the importance of bringing up weight.

why in holy hell?

Can we just bring up healthy practices? and newsflash: fat people know they are fat.

Like I tried to tell the southern OB you don't know if the thin as a rail 18 y.o. pregnant for the third or fifth time woman eats a diet strictly of mountain dew and ho-ho's. Singling out fat folks ignores the whole 'other range of sizes that might benefit from better diet and exercise. And don't berate or chastise a fat person until you have asked what their daily practices are.  And work hard to trust. Just because you have a firmly held belief in calories in/ calories out ignoring the vast differences in human metabolism and intricacies of the human body on the entire spectrum.... Just because you think you know what a person eats and does by looking at them.. try, try to trust them and LISTEN. 

There is more danger in overweight people who avoid health care at all costs because they are tired of the stigma. Its only really in the healthcare setting where I can pay someone $300 to chastise me after not listening to me. Or sitting through their version of a diet: 

I really did just have a doctor say "Oh I don't believe in dieting... Just a small breakfast, try to keep lunch under 500 calories and dinner at 5:00 small too, NO SNACKING WHATSOEVER and never eat dessert."

Well doctor if it looks like a diet and quacks like a diet...

Focus on Health. NOT size.

the end.

when a blog post unravels...

** 10 weeks 5 days: sick, sick, sick. not functioning but mind is getting clearer and thinking like mad on too many things that I shouldn't (like planning this birth, had a meeting with the new midwife planned and that morning when I could. not. stop. throwing up her assistant called to say she was at a birth. Did I want to come at noon. I said no I'm too sick I'll call when I feel better. I haven't called. Was it a sign, I think not I am leaning toward midwife. But I have also told Kyle we could go to the trust birth conference in April and attend a newborn resuscitation course from one of the best midwives in the country and feel more confident doing this ourselves... I don't know... brain in a pretzel.) I have been consumed with thoughts on my church's position on gay marriage and feeling a shift in perspective within myself. This post concerned me greatly.

And did you know big bloggers MckMama and Dooce are getting divorced? I kind of only read Cjane and NieNie that much anymore even though I have to calm myself down every time I click there knowing that they cut their newborn baby boys :( Even though if they have researched natural childbirth they SURELY have to know better than to be cutters...

Then there has been Whitney - so sad. And Elizabeth Smart getting married - so happy. Then a lengthy email exchange with the busy southern OB who I linked to in a previous post on why its not ok to make fun of fat patients on your blog. He didn't get it. In case you need reminding again OB's can be a dense scary bunch - GET A MIDWIFE!!! (not a medwife under scrutiny of a dense OB, a midwife, preferably a homebirth midwife)

I had in my mind this whole cerebral post on autonomy and do we really have it in many areas of our life... but another day. I don't feel good.


So I will just write a quick update on my kids since this is after all a family blog... sort of:

Benjamin

- Has been first chair in Tuba consistently for a few weeks now.
-Is working on a BIG Rube Goldberg machine project for science class and I have been cussing the skies that its due during my height of morning sickness.
-He seems so much older to me lately and looking older too. But I remember that he is still a little boy when the trash he was supposed to take out is still in the living room the next morning because he didn't want to go out in the dark.
-He started writing a book - its about vampires and actually very good. I hope he finishes it.

Ella.
-Oh Ella My little grown up from the womb.
- Not to be outdone she started a book too about an adopted girl from China who saves her allowance to fly to china and find her birth parents. I said Ella you should probably google a ticket to china - its quite a bit more than you can save up from allowances. Not to be defeated - the main character then raids her college savings to afford the trip - so the book continues.
- She loves to lip synch to Adele and Taylor Swift. I prefer Adele. (Is Adele still smoking? COME ON girl! stop it already)
-I told someone I let Ella and Maiya go to the park alone. I think her head went up in flames like ghostrider. Hey Free-range isn't for everyone. (PS. Elizabeth Smart was taken from her BED... you cant control every risk) Life is to be lived to not be afraid of.

Maiya.
-In  few short weeks she got her hair cut short and lost both front teeth. I can barely recognize her.
-She is a reading champ - in fact she can read upside down and backwards the best (ummm yes that is a sign of a slight problem which we have suspected.)
-The girl is uber patient with all of her friends of which she has many but is a little short with us
-She is super artistic - with any medium - you name it she's cutting, painting drawing, sculpting

Cora.
-Clothes still optional.
-watching way too much TV while I am sick. Guilt successfully induced.
-LOVES bathtime HATES bedtime - hence has ended up in our bed quite often lately
-Late talker who doesn't stop to breath now she is a stream of endless chatter. Some side splitting funny stuff.

PJ
-still breastfeeding.
-still NOT walking. He totally can. He's done it and we have video proof but he just chooses not to - why when you can do this super fast crawling and cool knee scoot thing. I am hoping he is walking by time I am done being sick and we go back to church and he's in nursery because that would be a tad bit embarrassing.
-super, super sweet baby and if I have babied him too much I consider that nothing but positive.

Boo
-The name we have called the baby to be.
Because as the kids say just like Boo Radley the baby is pale white and stays inside all the time. Just no treats left in trees for us.
We are strongly considering NOT finding out the sex of the baby this time around until you know, the actual birthday.
But I am thinking boy.
Just because we have the most beautiful girl name picked out: Nola Anne  - there it is, I have claimed it DON'T STEAL IT!!
Boy names: none.


see it will be a boy.

8 weeks 5 days... decisions, decisions...

from MamaIs comic

I drove past my midwife's office shortly after moving here in 2006, "Natural Birth Services" was on the building. I wondered if that was a doula or a midwife and made a mental note to research before next pregnancy.

Then I didn't research because I forgot and got pregnant and was so sick I just went with the gyn office I was already at. Jennifer Allen was ok in the ob department, still threatened the BIG baby card and early inductions and my uneducated self was scared and didn't want to be induced so I did what any ol idiot would do I self-induced.

Membranes stripped.
sex
jumping jacks
SPICY food
and every other thing that google will turn up on natural inductions techniques cept for castor oil, because I'd had a baby before and adding diarrhea was not enticing to that process.

So I ended up in the hospital with contractions over two weeks before Cora's due date and ended up on Pitocin... and you know the rest of that story. The first time Kyle and I were alone after her birth I said and I quote:

"If I ever have another baby, I am not going to any hospital"

So when Cora was nine months old I interviewed Pam at Natural Birth Services. I also had phone interviews with Allen Birthing center midwives, Hillary Lyndsey, and two others I can't think of now...

Because I knew that if I waited till there was a positive pregnancy test I'd be too barfy to interview then.

Now between my interview with Pam and actually conceiving PJ - Pam and Hillary combined practices and bought an adorable little house in Sherman and opened a beautiful Birth Center: House of Birth.

Thing is, I didn't want a birth center birth. I wanted a homebirth.

But Pam was awesome and since she lives in Anna she agreed to attend my homebirth.

And it was wonderful!! (Ya'll know that)

Now here I am at baby # 6

And Pam and Hillary's House of Birth is bustling.

And I still don't want a birth center birth.

I kind of think birth centers are like renting a room for your homebirth. All the joys of a homebirth plus other peoples germs.

A freestanding birth center has no more technology than a homebirth midwife brings to your home.

So all the same safety net as a homebirth but you get the added benefit of traveling in labor... no thank you.

and traveling home 4-6 hours after the birth...again  no thank you.

The only way I'd consider a freestanding birth center is if my husband was dead set against a homebirth (actually I'm lucky Kyle is so cool because if my husband was that non-understanding I'd just un-invite him to the birth... "Uncomfortable with a homebirth hunny?" " I'm sorry, but don't come.")

or... if my home was way too far away from a back up hospital.

Add to my fears of a freestanding birth center:

Its not manned at all hours and I don't have a key. Meaning not only do I have to show up I have to trust that I can reach all midwives and that they will show up on time too - ya know to let me in and all.

Hear about the lady who gave birth on the porch at Allen Birthing center. Yeah. I'd be pissed.

At home the worst is we deliver alone. I'd take that any day over delivering on the porch out in the open.

It would seem from emails that Pam and Hillary are very much into their birth center and while they will agree to attend my homebirth would prefer I come to the birthing center.  Financial incentive to do such as well. As Ron White would say "I got a coupin"


sigh...


so I am in a dilemma...

I don't want my birth reluctantly attended. Not that I think Pam would have that attitude. But if she does have mothers at the birth center and me here birthing at home....

I have an interview with another homebirth midwife so I will see how that goes. Funny its the midwife who ended up on the porch with that mom.

But I have already clicked with Pam.

And a woman of my BMI... once you click with a healthcare provider you tend to stay with said healthcare provider.

Then I have the completely crazy notion of us doing this alone...

I don't think we will. But the thought is there.

The BEST midwife... is as Micheal Odent puts it, an:

 "experienced, low-profile, motherly, and silent midwife... a midwife able to remain silent even when the mother-to-be says silly words, such as, for example, "kill me," "let me die," etc... a midwife who will just make sure that the baby will not fall down on the floor."




 Its hard as I put it to Kyle, I am trying to find someone who will do nothing for me.

That is exactly what I want, no interventions, no unnecessary coaching, having done this 5 times already I don't have any list of questions for prenatal appointments.

So about $4000 to the best person to be there if anything goes wrong. And do nothing when it goes right.

Which it does 98% of the time.

PS. I found the forum where they bashed Cjane for page after page after page for her recent birth.

so sad.


*** disclaimer: I am glad birth centers exist I think they are vastly better than current labor and delivery floors especially if you want natural childbirth - so I am happy they are there.

some things that are helping:

I am sick.

it sucks.

like soul sucking depression of depths unknown.


but some things that have helped me so far:

Morning sickness or Hyperemesis Gravidarium, or HG... causes for me:

this unrelenting bad taste in my mouth,

its like a cross between metal, vinegar and raw rotten meat taste.

And its there ALL. THE. TIME.

and get this toothpaste tastes awful, don't even suggest a brand I've tried them all. And even if I use none brushing make me gag and flossing past my two front teeth GUARANTEES vomiting.

But I read on Knocked up and Knocked over about swishing with baking soda and Lord shined down upon my soul it helps. Only for about five minutes - but it helps.

So I am doing that.


Then I decided from the abnormally large amount of stomach acid that I can throw up at any moment that I have a problem there so I added max strength zantac to my homemade dilectin. And IT HELPS!!

and then there is the making of too much spit production and I have just had to deal with that.

I seriously can't come up with any possible reason biologically for this crap.

oh well..

I hear morning sickness is during the phase of placenta production.  So I regard that extra organ with reverence. Because if during the sickest I ever get in my life I make a whole other organ that grows a tiny human. Its pretty cool

and barf inducing.

and I have kept myself occupied while on the couch (I hate being this lazy) by watching as much of Downtown Abbey as I can access and reading all of this OB's blog: http://laboranddeliverance.blogspot.com/

Because any super busy OB in the deep, deep south who fights for VBAC's and thinks pitocin should be outlawed is a hero of mine even if the blog is sprinkled with crude obesity jokes.

Someone has a bit of a lisp

Maiya lost her front tooth and just in time to- her permanent tooth was starting to make her gums look angry above

And in other news I feel gross

:)

 my precious moments baby boy.

 Ella's artwork was in the County fair

 while there we went to visit the cows and hear them say "MOOOOOOOOOOooooooo"

 

Benjamin made first chair in Tuba :)

My kids make me so pleased.

Unless you work at Golden Corral...

I have probably cooked more than you in the past few days. 

In fact in the span of 4.5 days I cooked over 48 meals!! All those meals plus extra beans for the freezer.

You see cooking is the only thing I can do ahead of time. I can't stockpile laundry or vacuuming.

Over $400 shopping trip (three stores)

60 pans and lids from Sams club

Triple or quadruple batches of everything, above chili, below pork tenderloin with tomatoes over rice and veggies. (or maybe that's chicken I don't remember.)

one layer of saran wrap then lid to prevent freezer burn, Just don't forget to take off the saran wrap before putting in oven.

and label.

I have my own Hyperemesis Gravidarium protocol in place based off several from other people who go through this too:

Whining Puker

Knocked up, Knocked Over.

Mine is not quite as in-depth.

1. Make tons of meal (DONE, I'd make more if I had more freezer space.)

2. Homemade Dilectin: borrowed from Whining Puker ( I have done this before but not smaller doses spread out during the day like she suggests)

10 mg Vitamin B6
10 mg Doxylamine Succinate, or Unisom - this is roughly half of one 25 mg tablet

3. Force myself to eat every 2 hours- Up protein at all meals! Snack on nuts.

4. Stay hydrated, and drink lots of lemon water (lemon is high alkaline, which can help based off this article.)

5. I am NOT taking pre-natal vitamins this time. They make me throw up - no way around it. So I am not trying anymore. A vitamin thrown up is not as good as a meal kept down.

6. Pray and meditate because like Ina May says "feelings effect labor" so I say feelings effect morning sickness too!

7. I honestly think that still breastfeeding PJ will help ease my morning sickness. Nursing while pregnant this is new for me.

I'll be six weeks along on Wednesday and I have not been sick yet (never gone this long before, so maybe the tides have changed for me! One sister from church said the older she got the less morning sickness she had so hip,hip, hooray for later pregnancies!!!

I have no defense for being pregnant at my sister's wedding. I have felt comfort in prayer that I will be A-OK for the big day. Which is rapidly approaching - how exciting!!!

Yes I am.

True Story

So one time we went to Disneyworld.

We planned that trip with the zeal that only NASA can plan a trip to the moon.

Kyle went to this site: Tour Guide Mike's

weekly.

sometimes daily.

That planning paid off - we hardly waited in line AT. ALL. And we got free dining for all of us!

We found the best travel agent who found a room that would accommodate three adults, three kids and one infant.

We saved so much money we decided to fly there instead of drive. (we honestly didn't know if we all could fit plus luggage in a minivan.)

So we found a great deal on plane tickets and booked, not really thinking that we just put ourselves arriving one day early. So we had to add a night to our hotel stay.

Which put us at Disney with one day without park tickets. But that's cool because the hotel itself was rocking.

So we arrived, unpacked and Kyle promptly crashed on the bed to sleep. Meg and I decided to take the kids to the pool. The kids donned bathing suits and dashed ahead. Then Meg went pushing the stroller and I made my way down the path in front of the hotel rooms.

But something caught my eye.

weed.

not a weed.

weed. the kind that comes in little bags.

I was like holy crap - that's marijuana so I did what anyone would do, I grabbed it and took it back to our hotel room.

Tried to wake up Kyle "hey I found some weed outside."

He grumbled and rolled over, I left the bag on his book and went swimming.

When we got back I really woke him up and he was like "did you say something about weed?"

"Yeah I found some on the sidewalk, what should we do?"

we debated about how funny of a souvenir that would be and then decided to just call the front desk and let them come get it.

They sent up the OLDEST security guard I have ever seen - I think he said he was 90 and he was on a segway - he was rockin cool.  He said thanks and took the weed.

We wondered what he was going to do with it.

We went to Disney and all we got was a lousy bag of weed.

true story.

Video response to Biggest loser.

Biggest Loser Australia's theme this season is "Love Yourself" which means love yourself AFTER you've lost weight. The commercial is a wonderful example of exploiting other's pain for your financial gain. It saddens me.


The Amazing Ragen who blogs here, organized this video response! Its so very awesome and Kyle and I are in it:

true story...

I thought it would be interesting to write a series about the strange things that have happened to me.

I had a few ideas bumbling around in my head but then this happened to me last night and I thought I'd write about it first.

Unfortunately its sad.

Kyle and I made a late night run to Albertons to stock up on some of the deals they had - and halfway through I had to ummm... go #2...

Its the bane of my existence.  Needing to poop while out shopping.

My sister always says if I am constipated I just need to go to walmart.

(for Kyle its bookstores) LOL

Anyway Albertson's bathroom at almost 11 pm is kind of creepy so I was aware of my surroundings you might say when someone walked in to the stall next to me.

And their feet stayed facing the toilet for quite sometime.

I thought..

HOLY CRAP.

I'm in the men's bathroom.

Then I heard a familiar heart breaking sound.... gagging... followed by vomiting.

completely silent vomiting. and there was 4 rounds of it.

very quiet gagging then silent vomiting.

whoever she was next to me...

she was making herself throw up.

It made me so sad.

I left the stall and washed my hands. And went to leave but I couldn't.

I said

Are you ok?

"I'm fine just a little sick"

Then my hands started shaking and I debated in my mind but said this even though I wasn't sure if I should:

"If you are doing that to yourself, Please I beg of you - get help."

she didn't respond. she didn't deny anything.

and I quietly left.


I met Kyle at checkout and saw the usual magazine covers... and thought how sad the whole situation is. Can a daughter of God with that much self hate, and self injury reach her full potential?

If you wonder why body image, self esteem, and size acceptance is important to me - This story is another reason why.

true story.

LDS women discuss...

Are you in on this conversation?  click its a link, about this:


If you could ask Sister Julie B. Beck, the General Relief Society President,  any question what would it be?

Yes. I mean ANY question.

Such as:

• Why do only men hold the priesthood? 
• How do women really fit into the church? Do they have a place?
• Why were Relief Society Meetings-- formerly known as Enrichment-- formerly known as Home, Family and Personal Enrichment--formerly known as Homemaking done away with? 
• When is it OK to say NO? Is it ever?
• What are we supposed to do with that new book they just put out? (Daughters in my kingdom)

I just have to say a lot of the comments resonate with me and they are not things that I can easily talk about with people...

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” - Nancy Willard.

My life in technology

sooooo... we got iphones of the 4S variety.

they are awesome.

then our home computer died promptly on us - that would be a big ol dose of budget karma.

But Kyle is using his mad computer skills on it to devise a resurrection and we added carbonite off site backup a while back so I know my roughly one BILLION pictures are safe.

While playing with my iphone I kept daydreaming about going back in time and handing it to the me at like say age 14 - How freaking cool would that have been?

I laugh telling my kids about tech of ages past:

My Me-Maw was the first person I remember having a VCR - to record her "Stories" aka soaps. It had a remote super fancy, but it was not wireless, it had a 20 foot cord that you had to roll back up when you were done using the remote.

I remember my dad getting us a new nice 3000 lb TV once and when he worked it out of the box the remote fell out, he couldn't remember what its name was so he said "hey hand me that TV box thing"
TO. THIS. DAY.  Me, my sister and mother still call it the "TV box" and now Kyle does sometimes too and maybe even my kids.

I remember when we got an Apple IIe,  We were the envy of the neighborhood. Except for the family that had a TV in their parents bedroom and the kitchen - because who in the world needed 3 TV's??
With our Apple IIe, people came over to play "troll" (see pic above) and make banners - remember those banners - the printer paper with the little holes on the side that you had to rip ever so carefully or you'd rip your banner apart?

A short time later our Apple was obsolete and that pissed my dad off so much he swore off computers for the rest of his life.

That is until the internet came along. Then on Christmas break we borrowed a computer from my mom's school and set it up and visited some "chat rooms"

It only took about 10 minutes for every single thing to load. If you were lucky.

In college email was still relatively new. I remember if you asked someone "do you have an email address" there was a chance they didn't.  There were 2 computers for use by our entire hall and few people had their own.

I printed off emails that I found particularly special or funny.

My last year at Longwood the talk was that in the next two years they would require every student to have their own personal computer. We considered this cruel and unattainable for the masses.


And now computers are on our phones... and I've been waaaaaay behind the times in getting one.

His body, His rights, His agency, not yours.

the most comprehensive review of the issue of genital cutting that I have ever seen:

Top 10

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

Albert Einstein

Most visited posts of 2011:

10. You have my permission to forgive yourself. This post was inspired by someone comparing being fat to being a smoker. Which is about the same as comparing a meth addict to being tall. Smoking is a behavior. Fat is not.; neither is being short, or brown eyed, or curlied headed.

9. The harder you try to lose weight - are you constantly trying to restrict your calories or thinking about doing so - stop it, its messing with your body's homeostasis and hormones and might be making your body bigger. Intuitive eating is where its at!

8. You have my permission to love your body! Where my HAES (Health at Every Size) journey starts. Just this time last year I was adding a calorie tracker to my ipod. NEVER AGAIN DIETING INDUSTRY!! I have found the light - follow me to it :)

7. Depression - where the dog dug up my new garden 

6. No-poo - all about how to take care of your curls by going shampoo free!

5. Are you being a bully? Talking crap about yourself is ok right?? ummm no. Especially if you are bad mouthing features that someone in the room has, come on ladies you're smarter than that.

4. The Silence was deafening... woo ... boy ... On this topic of saying no to birth control, feathers were ruffled. Reminded me of a podcast where the person said 'want to hide something from the Church? just put it in the scriptures...they'll miss it in there' Just because its between "husband and wife" doesn't mean you weren't asked to do it.

3. "Further thoughts on that topic" became popular after I guest blogged at one of my favorite blogs here, "A Mormon perspective on sterilization."  It was a follow-up to my original post on the topic here: Off my chest LDS & birth control.

2. Dear Lisa Masterson. Your misguided views on natural childbirth and infant circumcision are such BS. I'd feel sorry for you being so ignorant if it wasn't for the fact that you are on TV. Reason # 1 doctors don't deserve your blind following: you can get your MD degree and be just as misguided and rude as this chick.

1. PE... Gym Class. Did you hate it too? Make exercise which should be fun a torture session? Sorry to hear that, here are my ideas to make it better.

bonus:
Fight the power be happy just the way you are!
(I admit to a little body snarking myself that I have avoided in the rest of my HAES posts.)


My favorite blog of the year elsewhere was: Ragen Chastain at Dances with Fat. Getting to have lunch with her in Dallas was very, very cool. And I am working on a little project with her right now :)

My second favorite blog of the year: Women in the Scriptures

My favorite post of the year (never linked up here before): Ten Rules for Fat Girls if you are new to accepting your body the way it is, print this out and hang it somewhere prominent.

In 2012 I will continue blogging about my adorable kids. Maybe there will be another one? I hope so (see # 4 & 3)
My sister is getting married in March - lots of pictures in the blog future!
I may tackle my spiritual ramblings more here - but they are tough ones. Like I can't even get my mind out of a pretzel sometimes - can I write about this too? kind of spiritual stuff.
I want to write more about routine infant circ. too. Ya know before I have to take down the blog for all the embarrassing stuff I've already put on here.

I hope its a wonderful year for you and I hope to see you around these parts!