Janette got the date right !
Kendra got closest to the right time!
Kimberly got closest to the right weight!
Saturday night when contractions started at ten minutes apart again (like false labor the week before) I did my best to not give them much merit. I am a firm believer that denial is early labor’s best friend.
I was enjoying a warm bath when they started and I thought how convenient, one way to tell if its false labor is to relax in a warm bath – so that was taken care of. But despite my efforts to relax they picked up in intensity. I started timing them at 10:20 and had called Kyle by my side by 11pm.
Those are the only two times I can accurately quote, because after that it was a comical back and forth for a while. During a contraction, I wanted the midwives called and in between I’d say no wait. During a contraction I loved being in the tub and in between I wanted to get out. Kyle talked me into staying in the tub a while longer since there was warm water to be enjoyed and if this was the real deal he was about to empty the hot water heater for the birth pool.
I started texting family and the midwives. Kyle started to get that look on his face that there was much to be done. So I stayed in the tub while he took a quick shower and then headed downstairs to get things ready. I ran the poor man ragged for a while, because I had very quickly gotten to the point where I wanted him during contractions, so he’d get one thing done and I’d scream for him to come be with me.
We made pathetic attempts to accurately time, but the stop watch on his phone was kind of finicky and we were timing them wrong for a bit – just so you know, you time the start of one contraction to the start of the next to assess how far apart they are. When a couple were seven minutes apart I got out of the tub.
Then it got a little serious. Getting out of the tub sparked a contraction, walking into my room sparked another; they were strong enough that I needed a little help getting dressed.
Going downstairs sparked another contraction… all those so close together was a little nerve-wracking. Meg was on her way but I still hadn’t given the ok for the midwives to head over. I had this kind of irrational fear that when we told them to head our way things would all of a sudden stop.
Kyle was so busy getting things ready and running to be with me with each contraction He called his mom over to help him. Thank goodness because there was a lot to be done and things were going faster than any of us really knew.
I sat at the computer because I had thought I’d blog or facebook some cryptic “I’m in labor message” but I could barely concentrate to hold the mouse. I do remember glossing over Postsecret because it had already been posted for that Sunday. Random huh?
Then sitting there at the computer a contraction hit that was so strong I had the very distinct thought “If I were at the hospital that would be the contraction that would make me ask for an epidural”… I was afraid to tell Kyle that, but I did say, “ Ok tell the midwives to come over. NOW”
From this point on I don’t trust my own details very well, because labor took extreme concentration. I lost awareness of time and space. Kyle was amazing. Each contraction he was there by my side. I have vague memories of moving from rocking chair to bed to toilet back to chair back to bed. With contractions we did the “rainbow technique” taught in the Bradley class. I pictured a large blank white screen (an old drive-in to be precise) and Kyle would list the colors of the rainbow in about 10 second increments. I’d picture the screen plastered with that color and the color deepening. Each time he said a new color I knew that, thank the Lord above, that I had made it another 10 seconds or so. A new color was also my cue to take a deep abdominal breath. It may sound cheesy but it worked for me.
What did not work was thinking of each body part and relaxing it as we were also taught in Bradley. I didn’t want to think of my body at all. When I tried even a small attempt like mentally thinking, ok Janie relax your toes, I’d literally think, screw my toes MY STOMACH HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the beauty of the Bradley method; we learned a bunch of techniques and had to practice each. I found what worked for me.
It did get hard to move around because moving brought on a contraction each time. But I am still immensely grateful that I was at home and could move around freely.
The midwives finally arrived. They say I made Kyle call again and ask how far they were. I don’t recall this but I believe it. I don’t know how or when I got there but I laid on the bed and asked if she was going to check me. She said, “Do you want me to?” How cool are midwives. So unlike the nurse at the hospital who just said I am going to check you now and proceeded to torture me.
I did actually want to be checked. I was saving the birth pool to the end. I had in my mind this fear that I would start to lose control and the water was my last “pain relieving” technique. I didn’t want to get in the water at 5 centimeters and be tired of it too soon.
Kyle also said that I kept saying I was afraid labor would stop if I got in. Everyone found this funny since it was very apparent labor was not going to stop at this point.
So…. I was 8 centimeters with a bulging bag of water when she checked. I got in the pool and LOVED it. The pictures show me in pretty much the same position, but I really did move around a lot. Hands and knees, frogger, on my side, on my back, pure floating, It was wonderful. I had a few moments of severe back pain and I could relieve it by changing positions in the pool.
An hour since being checked and I was still at the same pattern. I knew in my heart if my water broke I’d be close to pushing. The midwife was a little hesitant. First she wanted me to completely empty my bladder. I couldn’t bear the thought of getting up, leaving the comfort of the water, much less sitting on the toilet. I also feared I wouldn’t even be able to go since I remember having to get a catheter in the hospital for not being able to go.
But after one more contraction I gathered up my courage and went for it. I walked so fast they didn’t even have a chance to put a towel around me. Kyle said he was very afraid I would slip and fall. I made it, I emptied my bladder and right as I went to get up from the toilet a whammy of a contraction hit. Kyle’s mom said it sounded so strong she wondered for a bit if I’d deliver there.
But I didn’t, I survived and made it back to the water just as quickly as I had left. There the midwife checked me during a contraction. Borderline torture. Broke my water, and checked again during next contraction. Actual torture. Everything was fine, baby’s head came down, umbilical cord didn’t and the heart rate was good. Then, by mercy of a Loving Heavenly Father I had a NICE LONG BREAK.
I floated and can honestly say I was pain free. I believe it lasted ten minutes. I even thought hmmmm… this is taking a long time. But I didn’t really care I was making myself relax, enjoying the lack of pain and resting.
Then the train arrived in the station so to say. Can’t tell you what I felt first, the build of the contraction or the baby in the birth canal. But I was pushing. Pushing I tell ya. I think directions were being given to me, push slower, move your knees, don’t push with your legs, push with your body. I didn’t really care all too much I was just pushing. I didn’t feel the ring of fire. Maybe that was another perk of the water. I just remember being told the head is out. Then a small break and much more pain and I lost it. I BEGGED for him to be pulled out. The midwife did help him a bit side to side and I once again PUSHED. And then it happened my baby was born at home, and I felt the amazing feeling of complete relief that can only happen when your healthy baby can be pulled up to your chest.
I loved on my baby, was amazed at how good his color was, that he was breathing but not crying. And I eventually realized who was in the room besides Kyle. Oh look at that there are two midwives, yeah the kids made it, my mom is on skype (awesome), Meg is taking pictures – she rocks, Nana is with the kids – how sweet.
Contractions started again, and they were annoyingly almost as painful as labor, I rolled my eyes in frustration and told Kyle repeatedly to help me hold the baby. I feared I’d be overcome with pain and dunk him back in the water. Just a few minutes after Parker’s birth, the midwife gave me a chance to push the placenta out all on my own, but honestly I was a little spent, so she gave it a tug and the birth was officially complete.
We waited until the placenta was delivered to cut the cord. That was something that meant a lot to me. The early cord clamping/cutting that is status quo at the hospital is not good for the baby. Want more info about that here is a good video:
Benefits of delayed cord cutting
I cut the cord after making sure it was ok with Kyle. I was so curious to see what it felt like. The midwives commented on how huge his cord was – they said it was a sign of intelligence.
I got out of the water and into a warm bed; I nursed my new little one and all newborn exams were done right by my side. The siblings all got to hold him, then they went upstairs and fought dad about going back to bed, even though they were all asleep in minutes.
I got checked out and all was well. Then I got to go slowly upstairs, shower, while one of the midwives waited right outside my bathroom door. When I came out they had my bed turned down, pillows fluffed and a glass of OJ on my nightstand.
They left me to help Kyle clean up (there was very little mess) and they were gone a couple hours after the big event. Kyle came upstairs gave me my baby and passed out next to me. I spent an adrenaline filled early morning staring at my new baby and watching the sun start to peek in the window.
The birth of each of my precious babies has a special place in my heart and their presence everyday transcends the way they entered the world. But I do have to say this experience has changed me to the core. I trusted my body. Leaned on my husband. Prayed before during and after for strength, which I received.
When I was a teenager I made a bucket list with my best friend and besides skinny dipping in every major body of water, I included “having natural childbirth” No idea why, except that I overheard a lady talk about how empowering it was. I had that faded tattered list in my mind during this experience. I am so grateful for the desire to bring a baby into the world the way nature intended. And I am so grateful that my dream came true.
Here is a slidehow Meg madefor me, she is the best sister - It contains birth footage but nothing too visible, I'd advocate Parental Guidance so consider yourself warned :)
ps. I will always want another baby. I may be in a widow in a nursing home and I'll still want another one. Will we have another? I don't know - but don't ask - it makes me cry later.
