Fertilizer anyone?

While trying to juggle the final payment to the midwife, school supplies, keeping the house stocked with somewhat decent food all the time in case this baby comes, we have discussed the budget even more than usual. That in turn got us talking one night about our early, early married days and Kyle says "how did we make it?" And since he asked that question I have entertained myself for days reminiscing about how we did in fact "make it".

After we got married I insisted that I was moving to Kyle's apartment at Longwood (his college). Even though I'd have to quit my job at the Chinese Restaurant I worked at and I'd have to commute 1 1/2 hours to MCV (my college) for the rest of our final semester. It would have made more sense for me to just stay at my mom's and see him on the weekends, or even gasp... wait until the summer to get married. But it was love. And you can't stop love - or reason with it.

I am glad we made that decision. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED our short time in that apartment. I got up at four something in the morning so I could make my commute and have enough time to kiss goodbye. We were newlyweds, it could take up to 10 minutes to do that :) My classes got out in the early afternoon. As I drove the LONG commute back to our 'home' I would daydream about having Kyle's babies and fixing him dinner. I was on the cusp of a degree I had dreamed about achieving since I was 11 years old and all I could think about was being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen cooking dinner for my husband. - Take that feminism.

Sometimes when I didn't have to fill up the tank with gas I would stop at this awesome farmers' market in Amelia county and I would buy us something fresh for dinner. I couldn't afford much but I could make a feast for us with a handful of green beans and two ears of corn.

In the second month things got really, really tight. We begged the landlord to apply Kyle's deposit to our final month's rent. NO LUCK. So we did what others might do but not admit to. We started returning wedding gifts for cash. A very nice lady who I am near positive does not read this blog gave us a butt load of towels from walmart. I wasn't a fan of the pattern so they went back to the store. We thought we had won the lottery when the total cash returned to us was over EIGHTY dollars!!! Those towels helped put gas in my car and fed us for the next two months.

I thought I might repeat the luck one day when I noticed juice concentrate from a local grocery store I was mixing had expired TWO YEARS AGO. I marched myself up there fuming with injustice and planned my hissy fit that would result in the store giving me at least 50 bucks on the spot for my trouble and risked health. No luck that time. I left with less than two dollars. Bummer.

The semester came to an end. We left our humble abode and moved back to Richmond. Without a penny to our names we moved in with my Mom and sister. Kyle fresh with a college degree, stunning grades in a double science major, we proceeded with high hopes. The majority of those hopes were dashed and we set up about other life plans and making ends meet in the mean time.

Since I was waiting on my Occupational Therapy internships to start and he was waiting on other dreams we decided to go the "temp jobs" route so that our schedules would be free when needed. This is where things get comical. We did so many odd jobs, all of which annoyed us while doing them, but all make us laugh now.

I folded GAP t-shirts at a local factory. Think GAP is higher quality so worth the extra 15 bucks? well no. Walmart shirts came off the assembly line, screen prints were exchanged and wah-lah... GAP shirts came off the line. I was a master folder. As long as I could keep my sweat from dripping on the shirts I did great. That was until break time when I literally almost got jumped by the crack addict looking chick who said I was going too fast and I was going to make the job end for everyone if I didn't, and I quote: "slow my white a** down."

When schedules allowed we found jobs we could do together. Most of the time that was "telemarketing". We weren't actually selling anything. It was political phone calls for the Republican party. We made phone calls inviting people to town halls for a presidential hopeful we had never heard of: John McCain. We did surveys about political issues in many states. The worst of which was ALASKA....

If you don't already know Alaska's residents, young and old, receive money each year from oil revenue. Our job a few fateful nights was to call and ask registered voters how they felt about a portion of those profits being invested into education.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN CUSSED AT SO MUCH IN MY LIFE.

seriously. It made me almost miss the crack addict at the t-shirt factory.

Ever want to get your butt chewed out? Pick a random Alaskan phone number and ask how they feel about the government messing with their oil check.

Then one weekend we thought we had a cushy job lined up: Sample giver-outer at Costco. A job normally scooped up by the Elderly with a stool. We thought this will be ok, and the pay was really good for a temp job. I thought cooking little wiener dogs all day would go by quickly too.

We arrived, found out we wouldn't get any stool. And went to pick up our products -- Get this, I got a Brita water pitcher and little cups, and Kyle got a BIG bag of fertilizer.

yep. water and fertilizer. When the lady stepped away, he was like "What the hell am I supposed to do with fertilizer?"

I don't know, tell people about it, I said through muffled laughs.

So we separated to our posts. I gave out little cups of water all day. Remember back in 1999 Brita was still newish and not cheap. Fancy ladies raved about the water quality and listed the numerous reasons to their husbands of why they HAD TO HAVE ONE in their home. Most of the husbands said something to the effect of "tastes just like regular water to me."

It was in the last 15 minutes of my shift when I started to clean up a little bit earlier than necessary when I actually read the full instructions on my brita filter that I realized - the filter I was using had expired about three months previous.

So yeah, I spent all day serving the fine customers of Costco plain tap water. HYSTERICAL.

Take that fancy ladies, the 'delicious' water you were drinking was nothing you couldn't have gotten out of the water fountain.

Kyle on the other hand stayed pretty much miserable the entire time. He had no extra information about the fertilizer other than what was on the bag itself. No coupons to give out. And definitely no samples unless he wanted to poison people.

He was amused a couple of times by some old men who noticed the blaring ridiculous nature of his post. And asked, "What idiot has you standing here doing this?"

Our shifts ended, we got the heck out of dodge and never took another "sample" job again. But we did enjoy the checks when they came. Don't feel bad for the sweet old ladies at Sam's and Costco. Manufacturers PAY REALLY WELL to have someone stand there and feel dumb. And they can do the job that day if they feel like it or they can pass. There is something to be said for flexibility.

Just don't tell the Brita corporation what a bang up job I did that day :)

So how did you survive early marriage? Was it on towels, fertilizer, t-shirts, tap water, and love? Because that is how we made it.

And now I am barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, exactly where I wanted to be all those years ago. And I LOVE it as much as I daydreamed I would.

**PS. Somewhere along the way we threw caution, good sense, and reason to the wind and threw away my birth control pills. There was a big prayer and little ceremony by the trashcan.

I was pregnant with Benjamin during both of those internships and 9 months pregnant when I sat for my boards.

This post also inspired by this song: