My heart...

“I wish to say to everyone here, come to the temple. Live worthy to come to the temple. Live the commandments of God so that you may come to the temple. Do those things which will make you eligible to serve in the house of the Lord. It has been built for you, my brothers and sisters, that you might have the opportunity of coming here and receiving the wonderful blessings that can be had nowhere else in all the world, except in other temples, where you may be sealed together as husband and wife, where your children may be sealed to you, where you may work in behalf of your forebears, who have gone beyond. That great and marvelous and wonderfully unselfish work occurs in the house of the Lord. Come to the temple”

Gordon B. Hinckley

my blessings
me and my baby sister

nana

grandma

aunt beth

uncle tommy - still being the best uncle, just from heaven

When we found out Kyle was getting laid off I had many concerns but the biggest was would I be able to control my anxiety and attitude during the job hunt. This may come as a surprise (wink) but I can be the freaking out/nagging sort of wife. If really stressed out I have been known to wake Kyle up in the middle of the night to either boss him around or cry on his shoulder.

But you know what - with a renewed energy for prayer, alone and as a family - I have been calm and very optimistic. Even with all the scary news regarding the economy - I have felt safe and confident about our future. Like I try to tell the kids, the Holy Ghost is amazing. When you need comfort he is there. I have needed comfort and he is here.

Today Kyle and I are going to the Temple. It has been too long. Since talking is one of my best attributes I do it too much. I need to be someplace to listen. My heart longs for a quiet moment in the Celestial room. Things that will be on my mind there tonight:

-Prayers for continued confidence for Kyle

-Thankfulness for everything I have. I really am living my dream - how many people can say that?

-Thankfulness for my babies - I love them so. And despite earlier arguments I don't think I am done. I won't be ready to have a baby again for some time - but I can ponder this tonight.

-Sorrow and hope for my baby sister. She did not get accepted to the Nursing school she wanted to go to. She worked so hard. I want her to be proud of that right now.

-Gratitude for my mother-in-law. Its hard to go to the temple and not think of the first time you did. When Kyle and I went to to the temple, she came with us. It meant a lot to us to know she was there supporting us from the Visitor's center, even though she is of a different faith. It was a palpable support we still feel.

-Thoughts of Mom who is still struggling from the effects of her cancer treatment. Thankfulness that said treatment has been successful. Smiles that she was able to be here with my new baby and teach my kids really important things - like how to make dumplings :)

-Thoughts of Aunt Beth who is currently struggling with cancer treatment. Hope that the rest goes quickly and without incident.

-Missing my brother Tommy. I have felt very close to him when holding Cora. He LOVED babies. I know that the veil is thin between her and him right now. I can feel it. She spent time with him before coming to me. She tells me this with her eyes. His exuberance went with him to the spirit world. The limited intelligence that he had in this life did not. His confidence and the trials he went through are making him a wonderful missionary to those who need it right now. I know that too. I'll sit and be proud of him tonight.

-Thoughts of my dad, heavy thoughts that I will keep in my heart for now.

I wish you could all be there with me pondering too. Interested? go here