Plus Size breastfeeding.

(Many of these 'tips' will work for any size mom, baby, & breasts but its from my perspective and the only perspective I've ever had is plus size breastfeeding) As I like to do, this post is link heavy.

"When we trust the makers of baby formula more than we do our own ability to nourish our babies, we lose a chance to claim an aspect of our power as women. Thinking that baby formula is as good as breast milk is believing that thirty years of technology is superior to three million years of nature's evolution. Countless women have regained trust in their bodies through nursing their children, even if they weren't sure at first that they could do it. It is an act of female power, and I think of it as feminism in its purest form." 
----- Christine Northrup M.D.

1.  YOU CAN DO IT!! Repeat after me - you can feed your baby the way God intended!
You don't really have more milk ducts you just have more breast tissue. Don't fret about your anatomy all that much. On the flip side don't let people act like you should obviously be a breast feeding champ because they are big... that has nothing to do with it and may even make things harder.
*Your milk might take 24-36 hours more to come in than smaller chested moms - but this was not the case for me.

2. Get a really good nursing bra. After five babies and countless nursing bras this is my personal favorite. I got it in a batch I bought used off of ebay. (That's a good place while pinching pennies - Like I've said before many, many moms give up on breastfeeding but they've bought 4-8 nursing bras at $40 a pop - know what they do with them?? yup.. ebay - just wash on super, duper hot with some bleach and you're good to go - no different than that birthing gown at the hospital you wore that so did thousands of other moms with their "juices" see previous link where I blogged about that topic too.)

Anyway back to my favorite nursing bra features:

*NO underwire. Maybe when you are very well past engorgement and establishing breastfeeding you can go to an underwire nursing bra but just be very, very careful. Your milk ducts can go as far as into your armpit and engorgement can cause your lymph nodes to swell (to the size of marbles if you're me). If you have an underwire digging in: HELLO clogged milk ducts followed by mastitis maybe even accompanied by a raging 103 degree fever. All from personal experience here.

*Soft breathable material. Or HELLO thrush. Avoid too much lace with 12 times a day of tugging on it the lace will rip. It will no matter how much you paid for the bra. Trust me.

* Wide-ish shoulder straps, not so much that it feels like your purse on each shoulder. But us gals with the big bags can't have no spaghetti straps holding us up.

*One-click flap: If there is one thing that drives me mad on a nursing bra is a small hook like what's on the back of the bra - that is almost impossible to latch with one hand also hard with both hands if the baby is still in your arms.

Here she is isn't she a beaut? comes up to 46 DDD and this model is decidedly not plus size but that's cool:

$20 for two - need to order online for plus sizes - unless your walmart is cooler than mine!

** lets talk about those who swear by the "no need to buy a nursing bra just stretch your regular bra or get a sports bra.  Well for one thing if you really have a plus size chest there is no "just stretch your regular bra" unless your regular bra does not fit you very well. And as for the sports bra you have two options, pull it down then you have it stretched to kingdom come by week 2 postpartum or pull it up and it chokes you while you feed the baby and digs in - Hello clogged duct again.

3. Nursing clothes. These you don't really need. Just stick with pants and shirt and skirts and shirts - you may need to skip on dresses for a while, Though I still wear them sometimes and just hike up my entire dress in the mother's lounge at church if my baby blanket is big enough to cover me. Wrap dresses are great too!

4. Take the whole boob out. All of it  -lift and place it out of the nursing bra, especially in the beginning.

This is the part where you need to be comfortable with your body. Be at one with your breasts, fat rolls, etc. Handle your body - just letting your nipple poke out is not good. Picture your breast as an icing bag. Imagine it being crimped in the slightest in one area. Things will eventually get all lopsided and even twisted. That will happen if your breast is constricted in anyway by the bra. A clogged duct/ breast infections pops up faster than a zit on prom night. Give your breast freedom when feeding your baby. you can be covered for modesty - but covered is different from constricted.

5. Bring the baby to the breast not the breast to the baby. This one took me a while to learn. I was so desperate for Benjamin to nurse that I would get into any contorted position and stay there if he happened to latch. Then I'd be in some crazy bent forward, arm crooked spot for 20-30 minutes and was barely able to move from the back cramps afterwards.  So get completely comfortable yourself! Then bring the baby right up to you. If you get in a twisted sister position break the latch and start over again!!

GET COMFORTABLE. Get lots of pillows - position them where you need them. Breastfeeding pillows may or may not help depending on your particular shape but if they help great. 

My best trick for getting comfy and ready is a rolled up hand towel under the breast that I am feeding on. It puts my breast in a better position and keeps me from having to hold myself up and strain my back.

6. Yes it will hurt. But no it should not really hurt. This is a tough one to explain. If you are experiencing pain when your baby latches something is not right. That is a true statement. But after 5 I can tell you that the first 10-20 seconds of a baby latching for about the first six weeks JUST SUCKS (literally & figuratively) Its like your breasts aren't really ready for a baby to be hoovering them and the baby on the other hand has practiced nothing but sucking in utero.. so what I do is this:  My baby goes on and I tap my foot rather forcefully to the count of 10, If its still hurts like hell I break them off and we start over.  Those 10 seconds are hell, but after that I find the nipple finds where it should be in baby's mouth and its stops hurting all together. (This could be because I have flat nipples...)

7. Flat nipples. Lots of plus size moms seem to have this problem. I don't know if its because extra fat tissue fills out the areola and what would normaly stick out for the baby to latch on to is now spherical in nature. But here are my tips for flat nipples:

- DO NOT GIVE YOUR BABY ANY ARTIFICIAL NIPPLE. That means bottles, pacis of any type or even your finger if you can help it. Not until breastfeeding is very, very established. Print a index size card saying this request and have dad stick it to the bassinet if you are delivering at a hospital. The baby of a flat nippled mom has to work to breastfeed - there is not really anything to just "stick" into their mouth. They  have to suck it in and be awake and motivated enough to do so. One bout on a a pacifier and you could be working extra hard on breastfeeding for another few weeks. ( now I am not against them later when you feel completely comfortable with BF'ing.)

- You should not by practice pinch any area of your breast while your baby is breastfeeding but if you are flat nippled you may have to. You can pinch up some of your nipple to get your baby interested, tickle their face and lips with it and have something to put into the mouth, if you have a latch ease off of your pinch (remember you don't want clogged ducts)

-You may need to play with your nipples to get them up and out or better yet pump for about 30 secs to 2 minutes and then they may be in the perfect shape for a latch.

- Some mom's swear by nipple shields but I have no experience with them.

There are some fabulous youtube videos on latch tricks 

8. Your body is not broken. You will not drown, or suffocate your baby. Don't be overly self concious or worried about your baby's nose, they will adjust to breathe. Just work to get as much nip in their mouth as possible and they will figure out the rest!

9. Don't give up!! Even if you started bottles, pacis, and formula keep at it! Its so very worth it. Even if your milk has dried up you can still put your baby to the breast - nutrition is only one purpose of nursing its not the only one. If you want to nurse for comfort only go for it!

10. If you feel a clogged duct coming on - increase nursing on that side, massage the clogged area when nursing and pump till empty if needed once every 24 hours. Have a good breast pump that has adjustable nipple sizes. Stay away from home remedies like cabbage leaves - they can dry up your supply.

....

Any other advice moms of the ample chest?

Any questions?

I'm sure I'll think of more later!

6-inch ribbon curls honey

Merry Christmas !!!

 We played, we puzzled, we ate, we made GINORMOUS messes, we watched elf, we fielded mean comments on the blog on Christmas eve (seriously you have nothing better to do?), We cooked, we didn't clean, we stayed up late and got up early, then stayed up late and slept in late, We've been to Amazing Jakes for almost 8 hours (our gift from Nana),  We've read thanks to some Amazing books from Grandma & Tony, We've napped, We've snuggled...

Kyle has off the whole week and we will continue the festivities but right after I take a long scalding hot bath in the middle of the afternoon (because I can.)

 Meg's famous cheeseballs 

 He thinks its so funny to go in there.

 But its better than him messing with these!

 SANTA CAME!!!!!!!

 PJ seriously loves his PEWI from Santa

 Maiya on her bouncy horsey

 Cora with her Baby Brooke - who seems to have no clothes on anymore - how totally appropriate given Cora's distaste for clothes as of late.

 Santa gave us 2012 season passes to Six flags!!! And we can use them for the rest of this year too!

There is really nothing more annoying than trying to sweep up Orbeez I've decided. 

 Benjamin assembled all his Lego stuff rapidly without any help from Dad... Kind of made Dad a bit sad.

PJ crusing on his Pewi to steal everybody else's stocking candy.

Christmas Eve.

 Benjamin helped me peel and chop 10 lbs of potatoes

 unwrapping gifts with Aunt Meg, Justin and Nana

 see this head massager.. oh my gawd. It will change your life it feels so good

 my baby sister :)

 Giving Aunt Meg kisses :)

 This is what Maiya wanted to eat - I begged her to add something with color but her gift today was a white meal with no nagging from mom.

 Nikko would really, really like some turkey.. puhleese.

best. turkey. evah. still... thanks Alton.

And.. ta-da... Mr. PJ standing - will he be walking by New Year's... probably not LOL.

My Christmas wish list.

• 10 out of 10 women would be overjoyed about the awesomeness of their bodies.
• Magazines at checkout would have actual content instead of diet garbage.
• The medical community would start coming around and training all healthcare professionals in HAES.

• Routine Infant circumcision of girls and boys would end. If you don't mind talk and educational images about private parts this is a fantastic informational video about how circumcision hurts women.

• Hospitals start to adopt true safe effective practices for mothers and babies. Breastfeeding rates go up, c-section rates go down.

• Chris Christie changes his mind and runs for president:

I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite.

 packages shipped.

 Parties attended

 friends hugged

 babies snuggled

 pictures posed

 Presents wrapped

dogs lives threatened

 Janie's wrath sparked at check-out.

(flames out of the sides of my face.)

Excellent article by dietitian Lucy Aphramor: "Our efforts may have been seriously misguided and even harmful."

Why women don't breastfeed...

**note:
this post is old and I don't feel the same way in entirety that I did when I wrote this, I planned to come in here and delete, but like life that won't change the people that already read it. I am sorry if it hurt your feelings. I really am, I think all women need support in the hard job that is motherhood.

Last night the news reported that Enfamil is recalling formula after an infant death related to an undetected bacterium. And my first thought was:

You don't have to test breastmilk for bacterium.

And my mind wandered to a post on peaceful parenting facebook page asking why more women don't breastfeed. Granted initial breastfeeding rates are improving but our 6 month breastfeeding rates are pretty abysmal.

My thoughts... (Because you know I'm an expert in my own opinion):

1. Breastfeeding is HARD. It does not just come "natural". There can be latch issues - supply issues- cracked and bleeding nipples - thrush (detected and un-diagnosed) - engorgement - oversupply - tongue tie... etc.

2. It’s expected to be easy. And when its not (see above)- formula is very accessible these days - in fact formula companies have so cleverly sent you home with a can in your cute free diaper bag all but waiting for you to give up.

3. You may have never seen a baby breastfeed. And not just in the general I notice a woman is breastfeeding in the corner of the room, covered.  Other cultures and generations would have seen their mother, sister, aunt nurse a baby. You would see a latch and understand how a baby actually nurses. I remember not even being able to hold Benjamin right - I tried to hold him just like you hold a baby with his face completely upright cradled in my elbow.

4. You mother, grandmother, and Aunts mostly likely did not breastfeed and you have lost a wealth of information availability because of that. Breastfeeding is one facet of humanity that was almost completely eradicated in our modern society. There are few families with an experienced older breastfeeding mother on hand to ask questions. In fact older generations are more than willing to tell you "babies do just fine on formula - look at you!" or "that baby has teeth you're not going to keep breastfeeding are you?"

5. Modesty. How many women are not truly comfortable with their own bodies? Are you ready to handle your own breasts out in the open naked 12-15 times a day?

-How many women cover even in mother's rooms?

-How many go out to the car to nurse?

-How many go off alone to a room to nurse.

-Pre-pump so you can have a bottle and be acceptable in public.

-I read of one mom who ALWAYS fed her baby under a nursing cover so that the baby was trained to expect it and be comfortable with it even in public. How sad - babies are hardwired to gaze at mom while breastfeeding. And have you tried to eat with a blanket over your head lately?

6. Distorted sense of sexuality. I have noticed that tight clothes are A-OK - even at church the "tightness" of things are pretty much as tight as you can get before resorting to a catsuit. And what I call "stripper heels" have made quite a popular trend lately. I'm sorry but at some height of heel, it’s just immodest to me and screams of sexuality. But... breastfeeding - oh boy it just makes people sooooooo uncomfortable. Talk about feeding your baby uncovered in a public place and it comes up that your are tempting men into impure thoughts? I mean c'mon... That is insulting to men. But strut up the hall in a skin tight pencil skirt and stripper heels - "super-cute"

7. Bodily fluids. That is what some consider breastmilk and from the comments I get about my homebirth I see that bodily fluids make people come unglued... I can't tell you how many times I've heard - I don't want to touch my baby right after it’s born. Ewww.. "vag juices" p**sy juices" "blood - guts"

First off it’s not 'guts' it’s your baby and YOUR BODY. It reminds me of the analogy in Ezekiel of the abandoned baby in the field - a mother who does not touch her freshly born baby - "no one pitied thee":

 "And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to ^supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all.

 5 None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born.

 6 ¶And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live."

 It so sad to me of thinking of a mother not touching her baby till another person has wiped it off. I remember my hospital births dying a little inside that my baby was across the room on a warmer being mishandled instead of in my arms. I had to wait FIVE hours for them to bring me Cora after I got to post-partum. That is completely unacceptable.

8. Which brings me to this situation. What harm is being done at the most sacred time of birth? There is a very strong love cocktail that develops at the time of birth especially when private and uninterrupted that is almost impossible to achieve in a modern hospital. Look at the third picture down in this post. Thank God for such a capable grandmother assisting her grandbaby to the breast - but how damaged could the breastfeeding relationship be in situations lacking that support. This video with Michael Odent captures the situation perfectly:

"Immediately after birth there is a short period of time which will never happen again, which is critical for mother/baby attachment" ... "A complex cocktail of love hormones"

How much postpartum depression is caused by how the birth goes?  We understand interfering in the animal kingdom causing disastrous consequences.

** Now as a mother who has had both very high intervention and drugged birth and natural I can testify that the difference is profound and life changing. But I also believe in my heart that a mother's heart is strong and bonding and attachment can happen in vast circumstances - c-section, adoption, birth trauma, etc... I just don't think that moment should be so damaged by unnecessary interventions when it doesn't have to be. We leave animals alone at birth - we know it can damage their relationship. But we do it to women ALL THE TIME

9. Convenience.

Some find formula very convenient. They can return to their exercise regimen/dieting. They don't have to have accessible clothes or bras. They can leave their baby for looooong periods of time.

I used formula. I did not find it convenient at all.

It was expensive.

I had to wash bottles, nipples, collars, covers.

I had to find filtered water in every area I would be at or cart it with me.

Formula poop is capital N nasty.

Formula spit ups could build a hut if straw is added and stained everything beyond repair.

Formula constipated my babies to the point of actually tearing their anal opening. I had to "experiment" on my child to find the right formula brand and then the amount of laxative that was right for their system. None of which I give a second thought while breastfeeding.

And that's not even covering the susceptibility to life long allergies and lower immunity.

BUT despite all this when I said to one mom I've done both and breastfeeding is so much easier!

She replied - but I can get so much more done when I bottle feed and I returned a confused look.

 She said "you know I can prop the bottle and cook dinner."

I said "oh I didn't prop the bottle when I bottle fed"

this kind of reminds me of this:

So let’s see all a baby loses when a bottle is propped:

- They are not getting breastmilk (unless pumped)

-the don't get the warmth of someone's body

-they don't get to interact with the person

-they don't get looked at and gazed lovingly at

And let’s talk about the head helmets:

I have two opinions on this gadget. I think one of the reasons the rate of use is so high around here is I've heard that the company that created and designs them is a Texas company. Are there some sweet kickbacks for over prescribing them? I don't know someone else can follow the money trail on this one. 

 But my biggest theory is that babies are getting to sleep in their car seats an awful lot and are bottle fed, probably propped or holding it on their own.

 I also realize that the SIDS campaign of babies "back to sleep" is a HUGE contributor. Benjamin had some of the flat head thing too - he slept in his car seat way too much... Live and learn. When he was on formula at about 9 months old a few times I held the bottle for him while he stayed in his car seat. And I regret it.

10. My last and final opinion is that formula is too easily available and commercialized. Formula companies should not have any access to new moms and should not have advertising rights. Formula should be a last option and if not prescription only at least close to it. Even with the gains in breastfeeding there is still more stigma to breastfeeding than bottle feeding.

 And if you have strong opinions against bottle feeding you are judgmental and mean. When that is not true. It’s the babies that my heart goes out to. I know mothering is hard, very, very hard.

 But like TFB puts it "We can't handle the truth about breastfeeding."

Babies die from formula. It’s rare but it’s true.

Formula is an amazing thing to have when absolutely necessary (The story of Mr. Nestle creating formula for the neighbor baby who was dying because his mother did not have milk is touching) but my heart aches for when my babies have had cold silicone nipples instead of warm flesh. Powdered milk from another mammal instead of from mom. How much do you love powdered milk?

Babies deserve the boob and to do that women need more support.

More lactation consultants. More education.

More comfort with each other to teach and show how it works.

Less stigma.

Congratulate each other for breastfeeding. It is an insult to say to me "well breastfeeding comes easy for you" NO mam. I fought for it. I worked hard and persevered.

To the lady in the restaurant who thanked me for BF'ing in public - you are awesome!

Boobies rock - lets use em!!!

The Truth about C-sections and midwives...

Weight watchers... doesn't work, just to clarify.

"somebody's got to say its not ok."

Too many people have their hopes and dreams hitched to a perfectly thin version of themselves in their mind and if we dare unhitch that train we take away all hope.

HAES seems to frequently be met with opposition from the very people who would benefit vastly from learning more about it.

The most basic explanation of HAES seems like the "throw in the towel club"

And that makes many people come unglued at the seams. 

Say "diets don't work" and people are like this

And then they get all but, but, but, but .... don't you realize:

Fat is unhealthy.

I just need to get to a "healthy weight."

face palm.

HAES seeks peace in body acceptance and health practices that will actually make you healthier - not smaller.

"But weight watchers works."

"Weight watchers has worked well for me - I lost 10,25, 40 lbs when I did it in the past."

"Its not a diet its a lifestyle change."

"Jenny Craig helped: filling in whatever celebrity endorsement here."

Weight watchers is good at helping people lose weight for a a little while.

 It is NOT maintained weight loss.

Only about 2 out of a thousand maintain weight loss with weight watchers and they were NOT fat to begin with and they only lost a small amount of weight:

excerpt from this fab post:

Each year only about 6% of Weight Watchers members (give or take) reached their goal weight (presumably 94% failed).

Now before you get all impressed with Weight Watcher’s 6% success rate, let’s step back. For one thing, the successful 6% weren’t so fat in the first place. The 2001 study says that most were between a BMI of 25-30 (i.e. “overweight” but not “obese” – to use definitions I find silly). The 2007 abstract says the average starting BMI for that study was 27 – which is well below the average Weight Watchers participant. So in order to achieve goal weight the average lifetime member probably had to lose less than 10 lbs and would have to include a lot of people who had even less to lose.

It turns out only 3.9% of the golden 6% were still at or below goal weight after 5 years. By my calculations that means 3.9%*6.3% = 0.24% or about two out of a thousand Weight Watchers participants who reached goal weight stayed there for more than five years.

When you hear diet drug claims that they “double” weight loss – it’s probably true – they probably had a study where their 2 lb weight loss doubled the average of 1 lb weight loss.

Which is why a popular topic for weight loss researchers to write about these days is whether “unrealistic weight loss expectations” matter. This is code for “should we feel guilty about the fact that when we talk about ‘success’ we’ve come to mean something completely different from what the public’s been duped into thinking we mean?”

I have a two-word answer: informed consent. 

(end of excerpt)

do you really know what you are getting into when you join weight watchers or the see who can lose the most weight at work competition?

What if there was really truth in advertising about diets:

from here

Why do we call it the “weight loss industry” when what we really get for our time, sacrifice, and money is weight cycling? 19 times out of 20, what we are really purchasing is the experience of weight loss and regain.

Imagine if we called it the “weight cycling industry,” and “weight cycling programs.”  Would you participate in Weight Cyclers at work?  Buy food from NutriCycle?  Hire a trainer from the Biggest Weight Cycler?

Because that is what we are doing, folks.  Better face the facts:  Of 100 people trying to lose weight, the vast majority of people will regain weight. Some significant group – perhaps a third – will gain more weight than they lost.  Some tiny number (7? 5? 3?)  will maintain their weight loss, and of that group, some number from 0-4 of them will be flirting with, developing, or fortifying an eating disorder.  Yes, you read me right.

(end of excerpt)

this can be a very, very difficult pill to swallow. Being fat carries such huge bags of shame that people will do almost anything to rid themselves of that shame.

A lifetime of tugging at clothes, wishing you looked different, trying and trying and trying to be thinner is hard to let go of just because someone says "be happy just the way you are!"

But I do implore you to consider learning more about HAES especially if you are thinking about a new years diet.

This year consider giving up.

But only on the diets! NOT ON YOURSELF.

If you have any plans of what you will do when you do lose "the weight" Please, Please make 2012 the year that you DO IT ANYWAY.

Drive past weight watchers. Don't pool your money at work.

Instead take that dance class. Get a massage. Go on a date. Take that vacation. Whatever it is you daydreamed about the "thin-you" doing - GO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Struggling with the "thin-you" waiting to break out? read this:

The fantasy of being thin.

And can we stop doing this to our children? This is at the play area of willow bend mall.

It made my blood boil.

Not only that body shaming starts so young it was in a place that should be a carefree area of play.

And worst of all there was an ACTUAL damn scale. Like truly find out how much you weigh.

(it was broken - thank goodness)

it even looks like Taz is teasing you.

we start our body shaming young these days.

Want to really do something great for your health:

Please click on the labels below to read all my posts about Health at every Size.