I am judgemental. I fight this tendency. Now don't' get me wrong I think I am a kind person, but there are just some people .... One such person is the principal at my children's school. I confess I didn't like her demeanor from the get-go - but she solidified my irk in several meetings about Ella where she talked to me like I was either an idiot or in elementary school myself. I also approached her about the school's Nazi-like position on no singing Happy birthday to your child on their birthday or letting Mom bring cupcakes. - She entered the realm of shockingly rude to me on that subject, instead of just talking down to me. Since then I have made it a point to be extremely rude at every opportunity I get without my kids or a bystander seeing - which unfortunately isn't often enough. In fact right now I am only clinging to one intense glare I was able to make at a restaurant in town. Which all leads me to this morning. I was scheduled to volunteer at the school at 10 am, the same time school was to start with the delayed opening. So instead of them getting dropped off in the line we all parked in the visitor lot. The parking lot was a lovely icy black. My exact thought was "Please don't let my big butt fall in front of the long line of cars" - We all proceeded to head straight across the carpool lane into the school (about twenty feet to the safer, dryer sidewalk) When I hear Principal Pain yell at me "Use the crosswalk" - and yes I mean literally YELL at me - I was close enough that yelling wasn't necessary. So there I stand holding both my kids hands on very dry ground looking back at the slick parking lot - which I have to re-enter to make my way the 30 YARDS or so to the stupid crosswalk. It was a HUGE dilemma for me - I pride myself on sarcasm and being passive aggressive - or in some cases openly aggressive. (In fact Kyle is convinced I will be killed on the highway in some road rage incident. - My mom can attest to some people's attempts. - Seriously don't try to fly up on the shoulder and squeeze in in front of me - I WILL run you off the road!!) You don't know how bad I wanted to continue walking head held high right past her. Instead I did the right thing, headed back to the parking lot and over to the crosswalk, where it just so happened we almost got hit by an exiting parent who didn't expect people to cross there. Yes the crosswalk is where all the cars are exiting! And to make a short story longer - I have been fuming about this whole dumb thing since. I should be happy I did the right thing, but now I am only pining for a solo encounter with her somewhere. I know I probably have the wrong audience since all my friends are sweet LDS ladies with much betters hearts than me - but have you ever been rude and or rebellious in front of your children?
8 comments:
I would have kept walking. What is she going to do? Put you in detention? You're pregnant and the baby's safety--i.e. not falling on it--outweighs the rules in this case. You looked before you crossed. Big deal. She's just on a power trip which means she actually has very little self-confidence of her own. She's a bully. I've found that a lot of principals are. You give them a little authority and they go nuts.
As for a specific example...hm. I can't think of one right now. I tell people to go to hell all the time, but that's not terribly specific. Sorry.
I too have been yelled at by the Nazi-ish carpool controllers. Sometimes they just don't have a clue. But you are better than me, oftentimes I just kept walking past their glares!
I think I sometimes say or do rude things in front of the kids, but usually not within earshot of other adults. Your story is a prime example of why I do not get involved in the kids' school. Ya'll know I say whatever comes to mind and sometimes that's just not pretty and I definitely don't want irkage toward me taken out on my kids.
Janie, LDS or not, we all have people that push our buttons. We are HUMANS. I really would like to know what she would have done if you had acted like you hadn't heard her.
you're better than i would have been. i would have glared at her and continued to cross but, you did the right thing by not undermining a person of authority in front of the kids. (then after dropping off the kids, take her out back....)
Well, I am curious Janie. Was I known for being rebellious in front of MY children? I always wanted you to see that you could disagree humanely - and that you had a right to demand good service and respect. I think you got the message.. LOL!
I personally have never had a problem with her, but I know you are not the only one...;).
As for the way we behave in front of the kiddos, I think that it is very important that we show our kids how to act in situations by our behavior. This sometimes is very difficult, because as Sarah said, we are HUMAN! and some people just push those buttons! Good job, mommy!
I have found that the older I get the more confrontational I am. Now mind you, I still get walked all over (because I'm not that old:-), but I try not to let people get away with treating me badly. There was one instance when someone verbally attacked me and my daughter (teenager) was with me. I stuck up for myself in a calm but firm manner and my daughter tried to get me to back down. I wasn't going postal, but I did make a point and after all was done, my daughter and I had a good talk about the situation and I think that she realized that people don't have the right to treat you that way. I don't know if I would have done that in front of my kids when they were younger. I think you did the right thing considering your kids age, but the Principal should also learn to do the right thing because she is a role model by default and the kids are learning how to interact with peers by her example. Ok, now I am starting to go a little postal so I need to step down. Take Care!
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