I have a complicated history with this subject and I am still not sure how to describe where I am now... but that has never stopped me from trying, has it?
I was on the wrong side of the issue in regards to Prop 8 in 2008, even though I was not in California, I still blogged my support of "traditional marriage" on this here blog. And it was a slow process of compassion and stepping out of my paradigm in other areas that helped me realize how narrow minded I was back then.
When I read Health at Every Size (and it changed my entire outlook) I was bulldozed by the vast amount of research that had gone it to it. I was amazed that Linda Bacon had worked against the grain to reveal what the research was saying about "fat" even when it benefited no one's pockets.
I loved her story of confronting one professor when the government task force lowered the threshold for what was considered 'obesity'. She said they got it wrong. Her professor said do your research and see what you would come up with. She DID, and realized that if we are even going to use the flawed BMI that the definition of 'obesity' needs to be raised not lowered. A small group of government officials all with some connection to the diet industry made millions of Americans 'obese' overnight.
Linda has gone on to show through thorough research (not backed by any diet company) that healthy behaviours NOT weight loss are what matter. And you know what touched me the most as I have watched her work, seen her be absolutely harassed by peers, ignored by professional organizations, treated as Galileo did when he said the world was round, and lambasted in comments...
she is not fat.
She is not technically part of the group that she is doing so much to help. She admits to having 'thin privilege' and she recognizes that her message would be even tougher for opponents to swallow if she herself was fat.
She has still taken on this issue and is one of the most compassionate individuals to a demographic that she is not a part of.
Then I read her bio and learned she is gay and has a son with her partner. How come she is so understanding of my life and I was against her lifestyle? It made me think.
How could marriage equality hurt me?
Every argument that I have heard against it doesn't hold water:
Fighting gay marriage does not "protect the constitution"
Supporting gay marriage does not condone incest or pedophilia.
It does not threaten your religion or practice thereof.
I agree with Stossel on marriage:
I think for those staunchly opposed a few thoughts come to my mind:
- Have you been close to someone in your life who is gay? Do you realize the struggles they are up against?
-Do you realize that being gay is NOT a choice. BYU professor on Biological Origin of Homosexuality
- In Maslow's Hierarchy of needs Love is third on the list of essentials for life! Asking celibacy of those who are gay or that they have relationships with those they are not attracted to is very damaging to the human psyche.
And I became embarrassed how vehemently my church fights to deny marriage rights to others.
Interesting since we spent the early part of our church history trying to fight the government to practice marriage the way we thought was right.
I think our rhetoric is damaging and unnecessary. If our idea of the plan of salvation hinges on free agency then we need to stop fighting to take agency away from others. I am so saddened by the sheer volume of resources that went into Prop 8 by our church. Phone banks, money, time etc. I know some church members here in Texas donated LARGE sums of money.
And don't even get me started on Boy Scouts. It is just wrong. If a willing man wants to teach my son valuable life skills I don't care one iota if he is gay. And kicking out boys themselves from scouting because they identify as gay? so wrong. And sad.
I hope I live to see the hysteria subside. Marriage rights to become equal and hopefully even full open arms from the Church to gay individuals.
I am a trained Occupational Therapist, I was taught to expect a spectrum in ALL areas of human identity and behavior - from reading, walking, gross motor skills, etc. Why was I so judgemental for so long that sexual identity would be any different? I am fat and I'm not sure why. That is very hard for people to grasp - they want to blame my behaviors right off the bat. I don't know why some people are gay. But you know what - its ok. I am ok being fat - they are ok being gay.
"In the latter half of the 20th century these frames were challenged by gay rights and fat rights advocates. Within these movements, the words “gay” and “fat” had similar purposes. They were intended to depathologize what medicine called “homosexuality” and “obesity,” by asserting that different sexual orientations and body sizes were both inevitable and largely unalterable, and that being gay or fat was not a disease.
I don't know what this means for eternity. I have stopped being so sure of knowing any of that. But I know two men or two women being happy together doesn't bother me one bit.
Now one man with his 55 wives? that... yeah that kind of stings.
If you are still with me and will go a little further, this blog says it all much better than I could here
How to be a sort of traditional Mormon defending non-traditional marriage