Goodbye Zekie boy.

I have been avoiding this blog post because it is difficult to look at the pictures. But I want to share our Goodbye story. Two weeks ago today we said goodbye to Zeke, a beloved member of our little family.

A few things about Zeke:

• He NEVER even thought about biting or even growling at any child. And that says a lot. He has dealt with all four of our babies and all their various friends and all the shenanigans that entails.
• He was hit by a car when he was a rambunctious teenager. He broke a leg and later developed arthritis. It stole his spunk but not his heart. Before it got too hard to get up there he slept in some one's bed every night. You had to rush to get covers because once he laid on them there was no getting him up. A few times I had to get another blanket because he was laying on the comforter.
• We got Popper (our cat) from a woman anxious to get rid of the kittens her momma cat had. I think we took him away from his mother wayyyyy too soon. We were convinced of that when he started nursing on Zeke. Every night he laid facing Zeke and sucked on the hair on the front of his chest. Zeke never once complained, he just laid their letting Popper go at it with a "this is kind of weird" look on his face. This went on for EIGHT years. Popper looks very lonely in the evenings now.
• He was the most gentle dog I have ever known, but he had a pretty mean bark. I never worried when Kyle was gone for many business trips. Zeke alerted me to any passerby while at the same time warning them of his presence. Little did they know he would not follow up on his threats. He made me feel safe even if it wasn't the best security system.
• He was the doorbell for me. I have four kids, so this is the deal - you tap on the door and I'll never hear you now. Zeke let me know you were coming before you hit my sidewalk.
• Zeke came into my life during a very, very dark time. My parents were divorcing and I was making bad, bad decisions of monumental proportions. He knew more about me than many, many people. But he loved me anyway. And he was there as I straightened my life out. He was there when Kyle and I came home from our honeymoon. He has been there when we brought each baby home from the hospital. He sniffed them all and agreed we could keep them.

• He is named after a character in the Wizard of Oz: The Cowardly Lion. Zeke is the man on the farm that saves Dorothy when she falls in the pig pen. The character that inspires the Cowardly Lion on her trippy venture to Oz. His name fit him perfectly. Perfectly I tell ya.

Now I am going to talk about the actual day because I personally am not a person that shies away from death. There is beauty in the goodbye as well as the hello. And I think many people with young kids shield them too much from these situations. And after everything was said and done I am glad we involved the kids.

About a year ago the vet found lumps on the inside of Zeke's legs. They drained fluid that was non-cancerous - but it was still not a good sign overall.

So when lately he was slowing down even more, and his arthritis was hurting more - we started to know. It was difficult to talk about though. Because somehow when you say it out loud it becomes real.

The night before I had a hard time going to bed. I knew he was not himself so I laid near him and told him how grateful I was for him. I stayed with him for a long time. And even after I got in bed it was hard to sleep. I was hoping he'd be peppier in the morning.

But in the morning he couldn't even get up. He had made his way to the back door but couldn't get outside.

Kyle carried him to the van with tears in his eyes, and took him to the emergency vet.

More lumps were found. And we made the difficult decision to let him leave us peacefully.

We (except for Cora) were all by his side when he was euthanized. It was very gentle and peaceful. Just like Zeke himself.

That afternoon we lit a fire in the fireplace and wrote letters to him. We each read our letter and let it burn in the fire. The kids said the words would float up to him.

I think they did.