I blinked and then...

sniff. sniff.

My baby is one.

Oh my PJ, my most attached little boy.

I think about the time we spent together often. The time you were in my tummy:

 My pregnancy with you was an act of courage. And since I was fighting for courage I dug down deep to a spiritual place that I wish was easily accessible at all times.

Your birth was so empowering that my only baby blues were tears that you could be a newborn just a little bit longer.

Just a little bit longer...

Today as I carried you to your bed for naptime before your party, I whispered in your ear: 

'Thank you for coming to us. Thank you for choosing me and daddy to be your parents.'

to which you replied 

"Da-da"

We love you Parker James.

Happy, Happy Birthday

Workshop 'bout what I'm talking about..

I'll be there - email me at oyakawa (a) gmail if you'd like to come with me...

What is the Health at Every Size Approach? 

There has been a lot of confusion and controversy lately in the media about what the Health at Every Size (r) (HAES) method is and how it is practiced.  In this fun and informative workshop you’ll hear from two experts who are successfully practicing the HAES method, and you’ll have a chance to get your questions answered in a relaxed, non-judgmental environment.

Theresa Woodsong is a Blue Belt Nia™ instructor, teacher, coach, and fat woman. She is founder and author of Living Light For Every Body, an HAES-centered philosophy and process that helps get the true you to shine through. 

Ragen Chastain is a three-time National Champion dancer, choreographer, writer, speaker and fat person.  She founded and directed Body Positive Dance, and was the original choreographer and a principal dancer for Fat Bottom Cabaret.  She writes the HAES-centered blog www.danceswithfat.org

Register early! Cost is just $10 in advance, $15 at the door

Contact

Theresa Woodsong  ease@austin.rr.com 

512-539-7105 

When

Saturday October 22, 2011 from 11:30 AM to 1:00 PM CDT

WhereGenuine Joe's Coffee House 2001 West Anderson Lane

Austin, TX 

hey babe.

mmm. mmm. mmm...

I love this man.

so, so much.

(a while ago he shaved off his goatee - just to see what it was like again, he didn't like it at all. I begged and begged for a beard. And for me he is growing one. I love it (me blushing)

but I suspect I'll be seeing him with a goatee again sometime soon.)

Biggest loser.

Ah yes. The inspirational series the Biggest Loser. Never been a fan. Just not interested, even when some of you have suggested I try to get on the show. sigh... 

But I came across a telling piece about the show recently in the blogosphere with an interview from a previous contestant. Kai Hibbard, Season 3

So just how inspirational would the show be if it was ALL on camera?

some tricks of the Biggest Losers:

 (all of the following are excerpts from Body Love Wellness)

Dehumanizing the contestants

So they put us in hotel rooms and they take your key away so you can’t leave. And you spend a week locked in a hotel room and if you want to go anywhere you have to call a production assistant to take you to get groceries or get dinner or whatever you might need.  You also get loaded up in these vans with other possible contestants and you’re not allowed to speak when you’re in the van, with anybody, and then we had to go through these like doctor’s tests . . . . You get poked and prodded by complete strangers and nobody will tell you a single thing about what’s going on.  And that point was where I really believe that the dehumanization process started, where they start teaching you that because you are overweight you are sub-human and you just start to believe it. Through the whole process, they just keep telling you, over and over, how lucky you are to be there.  You’re being yelled at by people [whose] job is basically to keep the ‘fat people’ in line and you start to believe it.”


it was 6 weeks before we were allowed to get mail from home and our mail was opened and censored.  And it was 8 weeks before we were allowed to speak to anybody on the phone and it was for 5 minutes at a time with a chaperone.”


On then-host Caroline Rhea’s reaction to the blown up “before” pictures located throughout the ranch:

“She walked and she saw the photos of us that were shot deliberately to make us look as poorly as possible hanging up around the house and she lost it.  She lost it on the crew and she demanded that they take them down and that it was humiliating.  [She said that] we were people and should be treated as people.”

 after exercising in 100 degree heat without cold water being offered: Eric, from New York (won my season) lost it at that point and screamed about how we weren’t animals and to please stop treating us like animals and they handled it the way they handled us always, [they] quieted him down, and reminded him how lucky we were to be there, that it was saving his life.“

Misleading you the viewer

A week is not necessarily a week: 

On the meaning of a “week” on the Biggest Loser:

“It varied.  It went from 14 days and I believe that near the end we had one week that was 5 days.”

“Unfortunately, what they’re telling you the contestants are doing and what they actually have the contestants doing are two different things, at least as far as my season goes.  We were working out anywhere between 2 and 5 hours a day, and we were working out severely injured. There’s absolutely no reason to work a 270 pound girl out so hard that she pukes the first time you bring in a gym.  That was entirely for good tv.


“I feel . . . that I have a responsibility to counteract some of the harm that that show does.  Because I took a piece of being that problem, I now own a piece of being the solution. . . . When I have people come to me crying, telling me how hard they work and how they log their food and how they’ve done everything they could and [they ask] ‘Why can’t I lose 12 pounds in a week like you?’ I feel a responsibility to get out there and go, ‘You know what?  Sue me if you want to, NBC, but I’m telling these people, I didn’t lose 12 pounds in a week. It didn’t happen.  It wasn’t a week.  And even when it looks like I lost 12 pounds in a week . . . I was so severely dehydrated that I was completely unhealthy.”

Unhealthy practices

“There was a registered dietician that was supposed to be helping [the contestants at the ranch] as well . . . but every time she tried to give us advice . . . the crew or production would step in and tell us that we were not to listen to anybody except our trainers. 


“The doctor had taken our blood and tested us and sent us a solution, I don’t know exactly what it was but it was salty, so I’m assuming that our electrolytes were off.  And when the trainers found out we were taking it, they told us under no certain terms were we to be taking that, because it would make us retain water and gain weight on the scale and we’d have to go home. The doctors had ordered us to take it and the trainers were like, ‘throw it out, right now.’  


“I didn’t learn how to dehydrate until I got on the ranch. It was every week.  Every single week, this is what a weigh-in would look like: the real weigh-ins were at 10 o’clock in the morning and they were on a cattle scale at the ranch and they weren’t filmed. . . . Now, mind you, it was shot in Simi Valley, so it’s a desert, so it’s hot.  And on the morning of the weigh-in you would get up and you’d put on your underwear, your spandex shorts, and you’d put on sweatpants and then you’d put on a sports bra, a tank top, a long sleeve shirt, and your sweatshirt, a ball cap, and then you’d zip up your sweatshirt, you’d put your hood on and you’d go down to the gym.  [The gym] wasn’t a real gym, it was a temporary structure just for shooting and it didn’t have any air conditioning and you’d shut all the doors and all the windows in the gym.  Then you would work out for two, two and half hours (as long as you could stand it) without any water.


“The trainers tell you.  And it was [trainer] Kim [Lyons]‘s first season, and I remember Kim having a conversation with [trainer] Bob [Harper] where she said, and she said it to her team, ‘You know, look, let’s do this the right way this season — no dehydrating, let’s just do it the healthy way.’  And Bob completely agreed to it.  Then, right before our very first weigh in, Kim came over to us and she said, ‘Guys, I’m really, really, really sorry.  I know that Bob and I agreed not to dehydrate our teams, but I’m watching Bob, and if you look right now, he’s dehydrating his team.  And if you guys don’t dehydrate, you don’t stand a chance.  You’re going to get picked off one by one and have to leave.


her life between the ranch and the finale:


“So I got to a point where I was only eating about 1,000 calories a day and I was working out between 5 and 8 hours a day. . . .  And my hair started to fall out.  I was covered in bruises.  I had dark circles under my eyes.  Not to get too completely graphic, but my period stopped altogether and I was only sleeping 3 hours a night.


 . . my major food groups were water, black coffee and splenda.  I got to the point that when I was nervous or upset I was literally vomiting my food up. And at one point the scale stalled, I was stuck at 163, and my trainer and the producers all ordered me to take a free day. . . .  They said, ‘oh, you’re body needs to be shaken up.’  And I was so afraid of food at that point I went in [to the store], I bought a bag of snicker doodle cookies, and a quart of milk, and a box of ex lax and I ate them all together.  And I knew that I was in trouble. And it was at this point that I was like, ‘Hey, where are those doctors and that psychologist that are supposed to be following up and keeping an eye on me that I kept hearing about?’”


“It gave me a really fun eating disorder that I battle every day, and it also messed up my mental body image because the lighter I got during that T.V. show, the more I hated my body.  And I tell you what, at 144 and at 262 and at 280, I had never hated my body before that show.

Kai on the fantasy of being thin:

“They said that they were very surprised by me as a contestant because, if you watch from the beginning of the season to the end, my personality doesn’t change at all.  And my comment was, ‘Why would it?’  But I guess that 95% of the contestants start off one person and end up a different one at the end.  And it’s because they believe that being thin will make all my dreams come true. [But] your mortgage is the same if you weigh 144 or if you weigh 268.  You’re either happy with your life or you’re not.”

** end of excerpts - thanks again to Body, Love, Wellness

Want an alternative?

I have been talking about this tons, but I didn't breakdown the components of Health at Every Size well enough for people to completely understand the basic premise (because I'm not saying "its so freaking awesome to be fat - join the club" - I am saying its so freaking awesome to be YOU, enjoy being YOU" 

• Identifying Your Set-Point Weight
  Your set-point weight is:
  

  • The weight you maintain when you listen and respond to your body's signals of hunger and fullness.
  • The weight you maintain when you don't fixate on your weight or food habits.
  • The weight you keep returning to between diets.
• How can you become Healthy at Every Size?
  HAES acknowledges that well-being and healthy habits are more important than any number on the scale. Participating is simple:
  1. Accept your size. Love and appreciate the body you have. Self-acceptance empowers you to move on and make positive changes.
  2. Trust yourself. We all have internal systems designed to keep us healthy—and at a healthy weight. Support your body in naturally finding its appropriate weight by honoring its signals of hunger, fullness, and appetite.
  3. Adopt healthy lifestyle habits. Develop and nurture connections with others and look for purpose and meaning in your life. Fulfilling your social, emotional, and spiritual needs restores food to its rightful place as a source of nourishment and pleasure.
  •    Find the joy in moving your body and becoming more physically vital in your everyday life.
  •    Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full, and seek out pleasurable and satisfying foods.
  •    Tailor your tastes so that you enjoy more nutritious foods, staying mindful that there is plenty of room for less nutritious choices in the context of an overall healthy diet and lifestyle.
  4. Embrace size diversity. Humans come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Open to the beauty found across the spectrum and support others in recognizing their unique attractiveness.
• Healthy Interaction
  The Health at Every Size movement has a strong presence online. Become a part of it :)

It was a process...

This is about curly hair, but really what she says can be about so, so much more.


how I care for my curls: here

Mr. PJ

I was just telling Kyle the other day that I think its pretty dang cool that we have a brown hair'd boy, three very different shades of brown/red hair'd girls - including our true ginger

Cora, and now PJ blonde with striking blue eyes.

(and none of them belong to the postman or mailman)

Kyle + Me is one cool melting pot of genetics.

japanese, german, cajun, british, native american... 

its all in there, because I've been doing my genealogy so I know.

Have you ever done your own family names at the temple? Its one of the coolest things ever. I highly recommend it and the new Family Search makes it so do-able.

PS. I almost wrote this blogpost except this one is so much better and why re-invent the wheel? We're you born on third?

the word you are looking for is fat.

Why I prefer the term fat:
Fat is what I am.
I don't subscribe to BMI categories...
overweight? over whose weight exactly? whose ideal? obese...morbidly obese?
I am morbidly obese... who cares
I am active, healthy, happy, and fat.
In fact I haven't needed the services of a doctor in three years including gasp... a completely healthy pregnancy and delivery.

If in the mood I will also use, plus sized or big gal. If you haven't met me before but we need to meet somewhere I'll say "I'm the fat girl with curly hair" and I say it with a smile on my face and in my heart.

BMI is not an indication of health: Body Mass Index badly flawed

The following is from the BMI project which you can read more about here

Please take this thing off.

two weeks, 

TWO weeks... that is how long they recommended this collar stay on. (stupid thing - nikko's words not mine)

He got his snip, snip done and the spca uses glue not stitches and they said don't let him lick it too or much he will lick away the glue... 

sigh - poor fella.

Don't believe everything you hear...

got this comment once:

"Go peddle your "fat love" somewhere else. I hope YOUR children that you keep poping out even though you can't afford them are the ones not left without a mother. It is dangerous to be so fat when you are pg. . .Take a look at yourself for who you really are. Only the risks you are taking are not in an effort to get better, they are so you can contunie to stay fat and unhealthy"

wow... its time for... a fresh perspective.

The news, diet industry, society, your neighbor, government, and Michelle Obama would all like you to know that being fat is UNHEALTHY... and it will KILL YOU... and cost untold health care dollars in the meantime.

Accepting your body is bad for you right? Being ok with whatever size you are is akin to throwing in the towel and giving up on your health right?

NO. NO. and no.

You can strive to be healthy without hating yourself. And society can just shut up about the lies they spew.

We are victims of Fat Politics.

"Obesity costs us millions of dollars in health care expenditures."

So say some pundits in another well publicized report. How did they arrive at this figure? They calculated the expenses associated with treating a host of conditions, including type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, hypertension, gallbladder disease, and cancer, assuming that susceptibility to all of those is caused by fat. Nowhere did they account for mitigating factors that might cause these conditions, such as genetics, activity habits, or diet - nor did they account for the fact that thin people are subject to these conditions as well.

The problem with epidemiological research (research where two groups are compared) is that it shows associations not causes.

Take for instance:

"It is well established through epidemiological research that bald men have a higher incidence of heart disease than men with a full head of hair. However this doesn't mean that baldness promotes heart disease or that hair protects against heart disease. Nor is it recommended that bald men try to grow hair in order to lessen their disease risk...instead further research indicates that high levels of testosterone may promote both baldness and heart disease."

So basically every time you hear the woes of extra weight and how damaging it is remember there is a LOT of bad science out there and journalists, diet industry and weight loss surgeons benefit from these scare tactics - you don't.

It really comes down to 2 things:

Eat nutritiously

Move your body

But for grins and giggles lets look at this a little closer:

Obesity and hypertension:

"High blood pressure is more common in obese people than lean people, however it is unclear if this is caused by fat... It may have more to do with weight cycling that results from trying to control weight than the actual weight itself. One study showed that obese women who had dieted had high blood pressure while those who had never been on a diet had normal blood pressure...

Also it is well documented that obese people with hypertension live significantly longer than thinner people with hypertension and have a lower risk of heart attack, stroke, or early death."

Does weight loss reduce hypertension?

Many studies document that blood pressure improves during weight loss... however, the long term results are disappointing even when weight loss is maintained - including massive amounts of weight loss after bariatric surgery... But a healthier eating has been shown to lower blood pressure successfully, even without lowering weight.

Obesity and athersclerosis (cholesterol laden plaque)

Since obese people have more weight on their body they must of more fat in their arteries right? Research does not support this. Five decades of autopsy studies consistently show no relationship between body fat and atherosclerosis. Obesity has no relationship to either the presence of atherosclerosis or its progression over time.

The largest, most comprehensive angiographic study examined 4,500 angiograms and concluded that every eleven pound increase in weight was associated with a 10-40 percent lower chance of atherosclerosis.

In other words, fat men and women had the cleanest arteries... Heart disease death rates have been falling for more than five decades.

Obesity and Type 2 diabetes

Type 2 diabetes is a metabolic disorder in which people have a reduced sensitivity to insulin. Type 2 diabetes is much more common among obese individuals than leaner individuals.

80% of people with type 2 diabetes are obese.

And because of those statistics diabetes is commonly blamed on weight.... But this is unfair and there is strong evidence to support that the genes that play a role in causing diabetes cause weight gain....

Chew on that though for a while. Maybe people are not diabetic because they are fat, maybe they are fat because they are diabetic.

Research shows that high levels of insulin appear before weight gain in future diabetics. In other words, weight gain is actually and early symptom of type 2 diabetes.

Though body fat & type 2 diabetes is the strongest card that the obesity alarmists hold- numerous research studies document that type 2 diabetes can be improved or reversed through changes in nutrition or activity habits, even when little or no weight it lost. Eating better and becoming more active are much more effective for curing, preventing, or controlling diabetes than shedding pounds.

Obesity and Cancer

Fat gives you cancer right? I mean its a risk factor listed for almost every cancer there is but maybe skin cancer ...The American Institute for Cancer Research was all over the media claiming that overweight and obesity increases risk for six cancers... All that was lacking in their 517 page report was convincing evidence to support these claims.

Of the fifteen case control studies only one showed a statistically significant increased risk - and one showed a statistically decreased risk.

Investigation by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also contradicts the obesity cancer link. In their words "There is little or no association of excess all cancer mortality with any of the BMI categories."

So what to think?

Did you know there is a long list of conditions less common in heavy people than their thinner counterparts? (Lung cancer, chronic bronchitis, tuberculosis, mitral valve prolapse, anemia, type 1 diabetes, premature menopause, and osteoporosis)

Obesity is also associated with improved survival in several diseases. Obese persons with type 2 diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and chronic kidney disease all have greater longevity than thinner people. Also obese senior citizens live longer than thinner senior citizens.

My best advice would be - turn off the news, mute the commercials, and ignore the billboards (is it just me or is every other billboard in Dallas for weight loss surgery?

Read the Word of Wisdom, eat whole, real food and go for a long walk.

All credit to Health at Every Size

PLEASE READ THE REST OF THIS SERIES, by clicking here 0r the labels below.

Anatomy of a family photo...

Aunt Kate (Gram's Baby Sister) is in town to visit - although while here she has gone by:

Aunt Great

Aunt Sake

and our personal favorite:

Aunt Cake...

So last night we decided to snap a quick pick before it got too dark, except it was already too dark when we got outside as you can see in the first picture. Is taking a family picture ever easy?

"get out here real quick its getting dark!"

"ok how does this timer thing work again?"

"ok Maiya what is that face? and Cora look at the camera!"

"Seriously look at the camera" (as I point at it just when the picture takes. sigh.....

and... this is the best one:

two heartbreaking comments.

Sometimes the most poignant statements on the internet are buried in the comments.

I came across these two comments this week and both broke my heart. The first because I have been through it, and the second because I have seen people I love go through it:

one small caveat though, I did not make the circumcision choice by deferring to Kyle, we made the decision together, we were both equally uninformed at the time.

comment on No cutting, thank you - referring to circumcision of course

chronicbliss said...

I deferred to my husband on the issue, and will regret it and probably cry over it for the rest of my life. My son is almost 2 1/2 now and still has to be taken to the doctor every few months to have his "adhesions" ripped apart, and we have put off potty-training because we have to put Vaseline on his penis at diaper changes. Every diaper change for over 2 years, we Vaseline around the ridge of the glans, and it still re-attaches. Why? Because this penis was MEANT to have skin attached to it. And why doesn't it? because my husband wanted the boy's penis to look like his. The other day, when I changed my son and he cried and started violently pinching the tip of his penis, saying "let me do it instead", I started crying (again) about having failed to protect my own children and finally just asked my husband why he didn't shave his crotch. It seems ridiculous that my son has been in pain for 2 1/2 years so he could look like his father and my husband is unwilling to just shave to look like him. Which sacrifice sounds like more, I mean if looking alike is really so important.
When a doctor or father mentions phimosis as a reason for preventative circumcision, mention repeat adhesions. If we're really lucky, this routine infant procedure, "just a little snip, really", won't require surgery when my son is older. There's a very real chance he won't have enough skin left for the length of his erect penis if some of it is stretched up and attached to the glans.

January 6, 2011 9:49 AM

From Mandatory WLS: a post in reference to a commenter who said everyone with a BMI over 40 should be FORCED to have weight loss surgery.

On April 11, 2011 at 10:18 am Anonymous said:

It’s almost 3:00 in the morning, and I’m sitting here unable to get even a half-cup of water down. 14 months ago, I had lap-band surgery and I’ve lost 130 pounds. Everybody says I’m gorgeous again. I’m 5’8″ and as of this morning I’m down to 128 pounds. I’m sure I’ll weigh even less tomorrow. But guess what? I’m miserable. I have no quality of life. For the past 10 days, I haven’t been able to eat ANYTHING without extreme pain and vomiting within 10 minutes. I have a constant nagging pain under my right ribcage, (my liver) and there is an occasional searing pain between my shoulder blades. When I lie on my back and palpate my now sunken abdomen, I can feel thick ropes of scar tissue snaking around my port and the top of my stomach where the band is. But now I’m really scared. For the past 48 hours or so, I haven’t even been able to keep liquid down. My heart pounds every time I go up my stairs, and I feel faint when I stand up. Despite my so-called success, I cannot ever recommend this barbaric procedure. It makes me sick to see the billboards and hear the mindless jingles on TV about “your new life beginning” when I have to run from the table to make it to the bathroom. Lately I’ve had to reassure my daughter that mommy will be okay because I can’t hide my constant vomiting from her. I’m afraid to go to sleep because I know it will only be a few hours before I awake violently chocking on regurgitated stomach acid. A couple of months ago I had all but two ml of liquid removed from my band because of my problems. I was told at the time that I probably had a “slipped band”, but that removing most of the restriction would likely fix things. Really?! My problems have grown progressively worse. I was told when I was pre-op that slipped bands were now rare because of improved surgical techniques. I wish I had asked, “How rare?”…I can see no point in going on like this. The only thing to be gained will be a nice, thin corpse and a normal-sized casket. I’m going to my surgeon’s office this morning and demanding that they take this thing out! Wisdom and good will to all of us who are trying to come to terms with weight, health and body-image issues.

groupon rocks.

we snagged the groupon jet ski deal and had a blast - it was so much fun when it was my turn and ella was screaming in my ear "THIS IS SO FUN!!!" I thought for a moment financing a jet ski or two would be totally fiscally responsible. (I came to my senses on the ride home, but really we had a blast!!)

want to go - the company has really reasonable prices: DFW jetskis

ok is that not the cutest picture? can you believe this little pickle is almost one?? crazy talk I tell ya.

I went too, but Kyle didn't take my picture, I am working through forgiving him...

Cheap Dog treats

Don't spend a fortune on training treats at Petsmart or on dog toys - here are two cheap alternatives:

youz suxch a goooood, goooood boy, momma loves your furry little cuteness... don't forget praise in training its free and they love it

For training treats (yes training treats are very important!) You can use the dogs own food, but I've never found them to be incredibly motivating. So I use these:

See? they really, really like them and will do all sorts of tricks for you in exchange!

You will need to buy the cheapest hot dogs you can find. You see dog treats run you about $3 bucks a bag and are way bigger than you need for training. And you can find cheap hot dogs for as low as 75 cents a package and that will make you roughly half a million training treats. THESE ARE NOT A SOURCE OF NUTRITION for your dog - just training incentive.

Cut up cheap hot dogs

Spread out on plate

And microwave to just before the dust stage.

They will be dry and hard and keep without refridgeration - I nuked mine for 4 full minutes in my poweful microwave. If they look gross to you your doggie will LOVE them.

oh and best dog toy ever - that I just found out about from Dances with Fat:

An empty water bottle in an old sock:

they LOVED it.

Are you being a bully?

There is the typical notion of what a bully is and most of us understand that and avoid it in our personalities and teach our children how to treat others with kindness.

But as women, especially Christian women we tend to overlook or ignore treating ourselves well.

Did you know one big contributing factor to eating disorders are children growing up hearing a mother make frequent disparaging comments about her own body. It does NO ONE any good to hear derogatory remarks about one's body. It won't make you healthier, It won't make you feel better, and it may harm your children.

It reminds me of women who constantly straighten their hair but tell their young daughter her curls are beautiful. What does she really internalize you telling her her hair is beautiful or recognizing the amount of time you spend getting the curls out of your own hair?

How do we inadvertently treat other women by snide comments?

I sat at a baby shower shortly after I moved to Texas, Excited to celebrate a new baby, because ya'll know I LOVE BABIES... but instead about 70% of the conversation revolved around how

"gross" women's bodies are after having delivered a baby: How smushy and flabby stomachs are, how full and saggy breasts are, how awful stretch marks look- how its a miserable state of affairs... yuck, yuck, and yuck was the mood of the conversation.

I sat there in disbelief. I am in awe of my body after I have a baby. I look at that newborn and think "Wow, Kyle and I did that. I grew that baby in my body. Amazing." I dread engorgement - but I also dread how quickly that first week flies by - one week you're pregnant and the next week you have a baby who has already lost the umbilical cord stump they needed to survive just a short time ago. I am way too much into the miracle to hate on myself.

And.... I have a smushy tummy all the time, my breasts are large and and I have stretch marks... I sat there ingesting the conversation pretty much staying quiet and realized...

What I was...what I am, was disgusting to these women. And that is me ALL THE TIME.

Huh... nice thought.

I left soon after, and had a good cry all the way home.

I am a lucky, lucky women who has a wonderful husband who sincerely likes the way I am and tells me often how beautiful I am. My heart aches for women who endure moments like that at the hands of other women and leave with little support for their heartache.

Think about what you are saying.

When you post on facebook about how disgusting the fat woman at the pool in the bikini was and nine people comment in agreement: A fat women somewhere (whether she owns a bathing suit or not) is thinking... I am gross - I am disgusting. My naked body is something to be ashamed of.

Some fat women do not exercise or EVER go to the pool because of fear of what others might think.

If you go on and on and on about the 15 lbs. you want to lose to someone who would do anything to be your size - do you realize the damage you are doing?

Not to belittle race at all, but would you say to a black person, "ugh. I got too much sun this summer, I better be careful or I'll get black."

NO you wouldn't!! But fat is discussed this way all the time. Its like its a social given that you should be dieting if you are fat or at the very least disgusted by who you are.

But people have no problem voicing their fears of getting fat, or laughing at the fact that their old boyfriend from high school was so FAT at the high school reunion. RIGHT TO MY FACE.

Its a good thing I have way high self esteem and thick skin. My respect for them just drops several notches and my heart aches for others who have to experience their insensitivity.

If you are thin. Don't congratulate yourself. Don't think you know anything about people bigger than you. Watch what you say and really take to heart "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" - remembering that you might never know what it feels like to live in a body wholeheartedly rejected by society. Small words may cause immense damage.

Don't use weight to overly congratulate someone - the "you look good", is often followed by "have you lost weight?" Someone can look good without a loss of pounds being the reason.

If you are fat yourself, don't berate yourself to others. Sometimes we can be our WORST enemy. Don't think since you are fat too you can start in on your fat friends. They may be happy the way they are. If you are fat and have difficulties with overeating that does not mean your fat friends have difficulty with overeating. The reasons for body size are as complex as life itself and still very unknown to science. Just because you think you can relate to someone does not mean you really can. And be careful about demonizing yourself to others. There are enough myths and lies about fat people as it is - Misunderstanding is not in need of fuel from your self hatred.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Be kind to yourself.

No one deserves to feel worthless.

have you signed the Health at every size pledge? if not go here

Saddest things I heard this week - Southwest traumatized this beautiful woman (be warned there are 2 naughty words, but I'd probably use them too if I had been treated that way.)

Best news I heard this week: Fat People can be healthy (and weight loss attempts may worsen health) and CELEBRITY chef Julie Goodwin has turned down a lucrative Jenny Craig deal worth up to $250,000 a year because she doesn't want to lose weight.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE TAG BELOW FOR THE REST OF THIS SERIES.

keeping it real:

what motherhood really looks like:

The other day the girls popped out the little watercolor pods out of the case - I thought we picked them all up.. Then today I looked over and saw PJ in this state. Niiiice.

first day of school cookies, done. Ella's became a regular cheescake because I was out of muffin liners :)