Can bravery be described as taking four kids shopping by yourself at 7.75 months pregnant? I think it can.
Sam's club:
You were SO not fun yesterday. But your prices insure I will forgive the event.
As we unloaded and made our way into the store in the blistering heat, we came across a huge greasy puddle in the parking lot - Can I also describe the heat as inhumane? I think I can.
Ella navigated around the puddle.
Maiya navigated around the puddle.
Cora navigated around the puddle.
I navigated around the puddle.
Benjamin, on the other hand - plunged his big ol' foot with much force right down into the center of the puddle!!
who got covered in HOT, greasy mud puddle?.......
ME.
all the way up to my knee. It was gross.
I proceeded to do what any calm, caring, level headed mother would do:
I turned around and Screamed like a Banshee at my son. Then whined my way into the store telling him how hot and greasy the junk on my leg was. It was then that I realized we were walking along side a really nice man from church. A man who happens to be married to an actual calm, caring, level headed mother - very unlike myself.
I was embarrassed. (but still mad at my son)
Then we made our way to bulk dish soap - because I have 4.5 kids and I buy EVERYTHING in bulk. As I rounded the corner Benjamin came down on my toes, CRUNCH.
I restrained the urge to strangle him. (I didn't though cuz he's my handsome boy...)
With a little weight in the cart I realized my cart had a bum wheel, and after adding a few more bulk items it became pretty hard to push. Momentum and frustration were the only two things pushing the cart. Benjamin kept telling me I was going too fast. I was just glad to have my feet not near him.
As I made my way to the end of an aisle, I knew I had to make the corner with speed. I was manuevering perfectly when Benjamin dashed out in front of me and quickly stopped my cart. And then I quickly stubbed my toes on the cart.
Picture Homer Simpson going after Bart. - got that mental picture?? that was me...
"I thought you were going to hit that lady - as he points (way over there)"
"I knew exactly what I was doing Benjamin - I was no where near her!"
although admittedly I would not have wanted to be in front of me at that point - I knew perfectly well that I was not going to hit anyone, except maybe my son.
One last thing on the list and then I can get out of here... pepper.
In the seasonings section I handled a few different containers of pepper to decide what amount of bulk I was going to go with. I made my choice and we made our way to the checkout.
We were in line, it was almost our turn, I had loaded almost everything on the belt when I had to do what I have to do all. dang. day. (no, not pee) - wipe sweat off my face.
I wiped each eyebrow, my upper lip and then under each eye. Then within a few seconds.
MY.
FACE.
CAUGHT.
ON.
FIRE.
apparently I had wiped all the pepper residue from my recent shopping choice all over my face.
By time we made it to the check out lady -- I am sure I looked crazy, I was burying my face in shirt mumbling, 'my face is on fire, my face is on fire'
It didn't seem to speed her up any though. I finally snapped at the end when she tried to upsell me on something.
"Listen I don't want to extend my membership, join the coupon club, or get a credit card, can you hurry up my face is burning!!!"
her "ummm, yeah, sure ok"
I never gave her an explanation. I wasn't in my right mind.
And then Benjamin saved the day. As we headed for the bathroom for me to save my face, Ella and Maiya bolted ahead saying they had to go to the bathroom, I contemplated trying to take out Cora even though I could barely see straight, When Benjamin said "I can stay out here and watch her"
And he did - he entertained her and did a great job!!
While I washed my face and hands several times - and left with a wet paper towel to keep blotting my face.
Later I called Kyle and told him what happened... and he responded very lovingly by laughing in my ear and saying "bwahahaha, you basically pepper sprayed yourself."
In other news:
I may yell too much but I am still a cool mom, because not only do I let my kids
look at road kill, sometimes I let them pick it up:
(Benjamin had already poked at the snake with Dad)
One item that made its way to our home from Sam's was a 10lb bag of pinto beans. As Ella carried it in she said "this feels like a baby" and that was all it took, within two hours all the girls had carried the bag around talking baby talk to it, and eventually started diapering it.
there were many protests when 'pinto' as he was aptly named went into the crockpot.
and last but not least in Oyakawa news...
Benjamin and Ella are preparing go see Grandma in a about a week. They are flying as unaccompanied minors all the way to Virginia - be still my soul !!!!!!!!!
hmmmmm... A Benjamin - who I insisted would never go by nicknames, No 'Ben" and DEFINITELY no 'Benji' And now a Parker who has a nickname before a birthday...
