Are YOU a model mother? a list...

While going through my mother's things I came across some interesting stuff that my grandmother was sent home from the hospital with upon the birth of my mother in 1953. There are so many head-scratchers that I may have to just make this into a series, starting with this gem -

a list ...

a list just in case you were ever wondering....

Are YOU a model mother?

(my comments are in italics) The rest is, as God is my witness, actually published materials for new mothers, I swear to you.

You ARE a model mother if:

• You make every effort to regain an attractive figure. (Yes this is THE most important thing and the first thing you should be concerned about, who cares about taking care of the actual baby or your health its JUST about how you look.)
• You wear a properly fitted foundation to help stretched muscles back into place. (Again ladies looks, looks, looks - if your body for shame does not leave the hospital rock solid you better find a girdle and QUICK!)
• You faithfully do any exercises your doctor may prescribe. (hmmmm ... still no mention of the baby you just birthed - put on that girdle and do some sit ups damnit! Right now, I MEAN IT)
• You regularly swallow those pills and medicines the doctor wants you to take to build yourself up. (What exactly are these happy pills? You don't need to worry your little head about what you are putting in your body - just take the pills the nice doctor gave you... they are probably diet pills - but remember your looks are the most important thing.)
• You make time for that little daily nap until you are 100% back on your feet. (But only after your exercises and your pills)
• You remember the people who took such good care of you at the hospital with a little card of remembrance. (Of course because you have nothing better to do - nothing like buying a girdle, exercsing or taking care of a baby - where is that baby anyway?)
• You take baby to his regular doctor's visits. (No mention of bonding or feeding, just take it to the doctor, on time, and write thank  you notes as soon as you get home.)
• You put baby's valuable birth records in a really safe place. (After the thank you notes, and pills, and exercise, keep up on your filing sister.)
• You remember that Hubby is still a member of the family. (By golly this is not all about you - take care of that man will you.)
• You let Dad pitch in with some of the nursery tasks. ('Let him' that is, sure as heck don't expect it. And if he does change a diaper, as always my dear, a thank you note ok?)
• You maintain your old outside interests and activities. (Do not, I repeat DO NOT let the garden club or bridge club down - they are depending on you.)
• You find enough time each day to keep your home neat, tidy,and fresh. (Run while you clean and that might count as some of your exercise, But make sure to wear your girdle and heels lest you neglect the Hubby.)
• You still make tasty and appetizing meals for the breadwinner to come home to. (Now there were no microwaves then and frozen dinners were not for "model mothers" so that cooked from scratch meal better be tasty AND appetizing!)
• You don't let your newly added duties prevent you from careful grooming and dressing. (My, my have we not covered this yet. It is not about the happiness of your baby, the health of your child... it is all I repeat ALL about how you look and you better look ah-mazing - Or we come and take away your model mother badge immediately.)
• You find time to talk about something else besides the baby when friends come to call. (I mean for real, because they came to see how great you look, not to hear about a stupid baby - or how all of this might be the slightest bit overwhelming for you.)
• You want to have another baby one of these days soon. (I had to laugh/cry for a good ten minutes after this one... because as much fun as this list has been you should want to experience this post-partum joy of girdles, pills, exercise, cooking, thank you notes, appointments, house-cleaning, hair curling joy at least every year and half for all of your child-bearing years!!)

The very next time you are with a women who delivered a child in the 1950s give her a BIG HUG. 

She deserves it.