long sigh...

So yes I have not been blogging. I was holding out on the day I could say "I am all better now" and yet I have not reached that location. I am doing ALOT better. I went to the movies and dinner with Sarah - By the way JUNO is a great movie - its nice that something was hip and pro-life without being overbearing. I went to church on Sunday - all in one weekend that was tons for someone who has only left the house for doctor appts since November. I feel like I am recovering from agoraphobia as well.
And despite respite here and there it hasn't ended yet. I'd say I hover at a 2-3 nausea on a scale of one to ten with bouts of fierce heartburn and mind boggling exhaustion. I have these really nice dreams of doing all the laundry and vacuuming and making beds - then I wake up and see the house and realize no not yet, that will have to wait. I thought about filming a panoramic of the house and blogging it, so all of you could feel utmost satisfaction about your house - but I rethought that - someone might call CPS on me.
Finding the silver lining my mind wanders to this:
THANKS GOODNESS FOR SISTERS:
First my sister - She has gone above and beyond and under and sideways to help me through this - Fixing anything that I think I might want to eat, helping clean, helping with the kids, taking them places, abandoning her social life (which means a TON), getting up early with the kids (which means even MORE) and making late night runs places when what she did fix me to eat was not what I wanted after all. I LOVE YOU MEGGIE
Second Relief Society-
Meals without asking, nice visits despite me looking quite scary, and one half muttered sentence "I will need help with Maiya" was an organized schedule of who could watch her everyday plus back up in my email. I love my church - the charity of the RS rivals anything else I have ever seen. Thanks so much everybody.
Other news that has not been blogged:
Benjamin's Baptism will be May 24th - so mark your calendars everyone - he is SO excited.
So at church you can start scouts after you are 8, so I got his application on Sunday and it made me cry - they grow up too fast, I remember when I was nursing him my mind would wander to dates like He'll start school in 2005, will get baptized in 2008, will graduate, so on and so forth. It all seemed soooo far away then, and a blink of an eye later I am filling out scout applications. WHOA
Rest in peace Princess Sparkles and Firecraker we lost them a day apart of each other and many tears were shed depsite previous attacks - Daddy orchestrated a lovely funeral for each in the backyard.
Maiya is talking more, funny thing is she has had very little speech therapy while I have been sick, maybe she has had the need to communicate more, but whatever it is sentences are finally emerging as well as sarcasm I believe.

And I have not updated about Aunt Beth - Details were slow to follow the first news, but she is in the hospital recovering from surgery to have a tumor removed from her ascending colon. It was a complicated surgery and many prayers are being said from this home that the recovery will be easy and that good news will follow from the doctors. A good friend told me to never tempt fate by asking if this is enough. But the sentiment is strong in our family that we have had enough to deal with - especially cancer in the last year. My mom is still trying to recover from her cancer treatments. Aunt Beth does not deserve this - but she does deserve the best treatment. It is not a good feeling to be so far away from loved ones. We love you Aunt Beth!

So I don't know if I will be quite my blogging self again yet - but for the record I missed it.