Weight watchers... doesn't work, just to clarify.

"somebody's got to say its not ok."

Too many people have their hopes and dreams hitched to a perfectly thin version of themselves in their mind and if we dare unhitch that train we take away all hope.

HAES seems to frequently be met with opposition from the very people who would benefit vastly from learning more about it.

The most basic explanation of HAES seems like the "throw in the towel club"

And that makes many people come unglued at the seams. 

Say "diets don't work" and people are like this

And then they get all but, but, but, but .... don't you realize:

Fat is unhealthy.

I just need to get to a "healthy weight."

face palm.

HAES seeks peace in body acceptance and health practices that will actually make you healthier - not smaller.

"But weight watchers works."

"Weight watchers has worked well for me - I lost 10,25, 40 lbs when I did it in the past."

"Its not a diet its a lifestyle change."

"Jenny Craig helped: filling in whatever celebrity endorsement here."

Weight watchers is good at helping people lose weight for a a little while.

 It is NOT maintained weight loss.

Only about 2 out of a thousand maintain weight loss with weight watchers and they were NOT fat to begin with and they only lost a small amount of weight:

excerpt from this fab post:

Each year only about 6% of Weight Watchers members (give or take) reached their goal weight (presumably 94% failed).

Now before you get all impressed with Weight Watcher’s 6% success rate, let’s step back. For one thing, the successful 6% weren’t so fat in the first place. The 2001 study says that most were between a BMI of 25-30 (i.e. “overweight” but not “obese” – to use definitions I find silly). The 2007 abstract says the average starting BMI for that study was 27 – which is well below the average Weight Watchers participant. So in order to achieve goal weight the average lifetime member probably had to lose less than 10 lbs and would have to include a lot of people who had even less to lose.

It turns out only 3.9% of the golden 6% were still at or below goal weight after 5 years. By my calculations that means 3.9%*6.3% = 0.24% or about two out of a thousand Weight Watchers participants who reached goal weight stayed there for more than five years.

When you hear diet drug claims that they “double” weight loss – it’s probably true – they probably had a study where their 2 lb weight loss doubled the average of 1 lb weight loss.

Which is why a popular topic for weight loss researchers to write about these days is whether “unrealistic weight loss expectations” matter. This is code for “should we feel guilty about the fact that when we talk about ‘success’ we’ve come to mean something completely different from what the public’s been duped into thinking we mean?”

I have a two-word answer: informed consent. 

(end of excerpt)

do you really know what you are getting into when you join weight watchers or the see who can lose the most weight at work competition?

What if there was really truth in advertising about diets:

from here

Why do we call it the “weight loss industry” when what we really get for our time, sacrifice, and money is weight cycling? 19 times out of 20, what we are really purchasing is the experience of weight loss and regain.

Imagine if we called it the “weight cycling industry,” and “weight cycling programs.”  Would you participate in Weight Cyclers at work?  Buy food from NutriCycle?  Hire a trainer from the Biggest Weight Cycler?

Because that is what we are doing, folks.  Better face the facts:  Of 100 people trying to lose weight, the vast majority of people will regain weight. Some significant group – perhaps a third – will gain more weight than they lost.  Some tiny number (7? 5? 3?)  will maintain their weight loss, and of that group, some number from 0-4 of them will be flirting with, developing, or fortifying an eating disorder.  Yes, you read me right.

(end of excerpt)

this can be a very, very difficult pill to swallow. Being fat carries such huge bags of shame that people will do almost anything to rid themselves of that shame.

A lifetime of tugging at clothes, wishing you looked different, trying and trying and trying to be thinner is hard to let go of just because someone says "be happy just the way you are!"

But I do implore you to consider learning more about HAES especially if you are thinking about a new years diet.

This year consider giving up.

But only on the diets! NOT ON YOURSELF.

If you have any plans of what you will do when you do lose "the weight" Please, Please make 2012 the year that you DO IT ANYWAY.

Drive past weight watchers. Don't pool your money at work.

Instead take that dance class. Get a massage. Go on a date. Take that vacation. Whatever it is you daydreamed about the "thin-you" doing - GO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Struggling with the "thin-you" waiting to break out? read this:

The fantasy of being thin.

And can we stop doing this to our children? This is at the play area of willow bend mall.

It made my blood boil.

Not only that body shaming starts so young it was in a place that should be a carefree area of play.

And worst of all there was an ACTUAL damn scale. Like truly find out how much you weigh.

(it was broken - thank goodness)

it even looks like Taz is teasing you.

we start our body shaming young these days.

Want to really do something great for your health:

Please click on the labels below to read all my posts about Health at every Size.

What if you really did throw it away?

This is the one area of body acceptance that I have very much struggled with.
I've worked hard to accept my body just the way it is - but I always have that number in the back of my head. I generally do know how much I weigh.
I took the scale out of the bedroom but I couldn't get rid of it so I slid it under the dresser and would take it out on random days and despite the pep talk I gave myself, I would still use that number to beat myself up the rest of the day. Nothing else is quite as quantitative and unkind: I'm fatter than I was X days ago. Who-hoo I lost X lbs. At least I'm skinnier than her. Oh man I probably weigh 50 lbs more than.... on and on and on... If anyone can weigh themselves with completely neutral or  positive thoughts my hats off to them.


I put certain weights that I've been at in my life on pedestals.

The weight I was the day I married.

The weight I was before my first positive pregnancy test.

The weight I've gained in pregnancies.

The most weight I've lost after a pregnancy.

The weight before the wreck that birth control pills, depo provera and nuva ring did to my body.  That nuva ring almost killed me.

I play little games to congratulate myself:

How much I weigh in relation to my menstrual cycle...

How much I weigh in relation to Kyle...

Did I weigh with clothes, without clothes, wet hair, dry hair, first thing in the morning....

The mental games get kind of ridiculous.

Does it matter what I weighed in 1999, why is a stat from that year dictate how I feel today?  If I am bloated does that mean I should be extra depressed today too?  I started wondering after reading HAES, what would I be like if I really truly didn't know my weight?  I even started wondering about my children - If I balk at the BMI testing at school when does weighing have benefits and not have benefits?

At the premiere of America the Beautiful - there was a question and answer session with the director Darryl Roberts and the lead therapist at a Eating Disorder treatment center - the eating disorder facility was promoting the film tour.

I asked:

"As a mother, what is my responsibility in regards to weighing my children? How often should it be done and for that matter, how often should I weigh myself?"

What she said was refreshing but still a little shocking:

"I think we'd all be better off if we NEVER weighed. - there are times in our history and present cultures that do not weigh themselves at all. There are far more risks to our psyche from fretting about our weight than risks to not knowing what that number is."


Since her answer I have daydreamed about a life where I never knew what I weighed and it seemed rather refreshing to think about.
How much sadness have I let wash over me on the days where I felt thinner and the scaled disagreed. What if I had just walked out of my bedroom that morning feeling thinner? I would have been in a better mood - done more things with a kick of self confidence instead of sulking in to my kitchen berating myself.

If I had never gotten into the habit of weighing would I compare Janie after five kids to Janie the day she married and feel like a failure? Probably not.

I have even daydreamed about a child - never in its life weighed! can you imagine?

A birth announcement that says - a beautiful baby boy/girl has entered our life.  And outdated growth charts and body size percentiles politely declined at each dr. appointment?

The only two situations that I can possibly think of needing to know weight:

1. failure to thrive in an infant/ child - there are markers that would be present that would indicate taking accurate weights is needed. A child not adequately nourished will have more symptoms than just weight loss: lethargy, decreased urine/stool, etc... As for my babies there is pretty accurate information that they are putting on weight - I'm putting up too small clothes by week 2 of their little lives.

2. Medication dosage based on weight.  I can see the need for this. But you can request that you are weighed and not told the number.   Though in general I have asked about this issue MANY times with different health care professionals and I have been told it doesn't matter. Take advil for instance - for children its by weight but not for adults, ballpark I weigh almost twice the amount of my good friend - but by the bottle of advil we take the same dosage? I ask the doctor should I take more? and I get chuckled at - "no you're fine" and the question mark remains over my head
In c-sections for fat moms there is documented evidence that not enough antibiotics are administered and it leads to higher prevalence of infections. So, moms are told they have to know their weight for medication purposes but then don't adjust the levels of medicine anyway.



My guide to letting go of "that" number:

Decide the personal pros/cons of not knowing your weight:

-Does weighing yourself make you happy? Are you psychologically benefiting from knowing?  Could you find other indicators to track your health if that motivates you? Clothes size/fitting? How you feel? energy level?

- Are you demonstrating misplaced values to your children, specifically your daughters by weighing frequently and your subsequent mood? Eating disorders often start with frequent self weighing and body snarking.

- Are you aware of all the facets to body size that are not in your control? Or are you beating yourself up for the number that stares back at you? If something tells you daily that you are a failure its a relationship that needs to end.

- Do you give up on exercise routines that don't deliver at the scale? Instead of finding exercise that you enjoy and will do for fun?

-How often do you say - I did it (fill in the blank... triathlon, marathon, diet, etc.) but then say " but the weight came back!" - Basically taking away your feeling of accomplishment because the number didn't stay in the happy zone.



HOW TO STOP:

1. Throw away the scale, or give it to goodwill, but I rather enjoy daydreaming of a modern world without them.

2. Decide now that actual markers of health - mental, social, spiritual, nutritional will be your markers of importance and not your body size or weight.

3. The short time you spent stepping up on that thing instead face yourself mentally or in the mirror and say "Darling you look marvelous"

4. Do not let the school weigh your children. And discuss with your pediatrician options to avoid the scale at well visits. I understand most mothers will find comfort in knowing their child's weight - so that is a personal decision. But I would implore mothers and fathers to not discuss your concerns about your child's body in front of them. They are children and deserve to not give things vastly out of their control time and mental stress. Trust me that if their body size is out of the bell curve either below or above society will point that out enough for them.

5. At the doctors for yourself, cue jaws theme... this may take the most chutzpah of all, here is a sample script when the nice medical assistant walks you to the scale:

"I am sorry I don't weigh, you can write "patient declines" in my chart - if the doctor prescribes medicine that you need my weight for I'll come back out here."

"I am here for a sore throat, my weight doesn't need to be taken its irrelevant"

"I suffer from body image difficulties I'd prefer not to weigh."

or there is always the simple when they gesture to the scale: "no thank you"

If you have an un-supportive doctor then they are not very forward thinking and I'd take my business elsewhere.  After I recommended they read Health at Every Size.

Don't let the bully take up anymore space in your bathroom or your life!


also interesting was the three keys to success that the therapist outlined for people that did heal from an eating disorder, she said all three needed to be present:

* They stop weighing themselves. (she emphasized that the prevalence of eating disorders would slow if we never started this trend to begin with.)
* They journal their progress and feelings.
* They seek out another person during stressful times instead of disordered past patterns (calorie restriction, over-exercise, binging, or vomiting)

Words matter.

Words matter. Words become labels, and labels become stigmas.

Wonderful article on the misuse of the word epidemic when it comes to obesity.

• We are not getting as "FAT" as they claim. (they being the government, news sources and the weight loss industry bankrolling the aforementioned.) 
• We have as a whole increased about one dress size since the 70's - which by the way correlates with the introduction of subsidized corn and high fructose corn syrup.
• We are also getting taller and our feet are bigger but that isn't freaking people out.
• I don't know about you but when I look around there is still pretty much a bell curve - most in the middle some on the super end of thin (like most of my past roommates) and some on the super end of fat. - That's me, I'm morbidly obese, though as Stephen Colbert says I prefer the term cheerfully obese. In a room of about a hundred there are two or three people my size. Not the sea of fatties that the news would want you to think.
• Despite the obesity epidemic fraud life expectancy is still higher than it ever has been and heart disease is decreasing.
• The statistics of disease caused by obesity is BAD science. They are only looking at correlating factors. Things that happened around the same time as fat increasing.  But the fat may be caused by the disease itself not the other way around. How many women are not treated for PCOS or thyroid issues because a medical professional sees a woman with 'bad' habits that need to be improved without actually asking about her habits. 
• And it doesn't answer the fact that the majority of fat people are not riddled with disease and thin people also suffer from high blood pressure, diabetes, fibromyalgia, and heart disease. So if being fat doesn't always cause it and being thin doesn't always prevent it. Can we for the LOVE... make healthcare size neutral? 
• Rarely talked about is the obesity paradox - the fact that there are some health benefits to fat.

You know what the real epidemic is?

STIGMA

There are studies of cultures where fat is not pathologized or stigmatized and there are no correlating factors between fat and disease.

Fighting obesity is not a fight we should be participating in.

What I hope fat people remember is that whether people are making the mistake of confusing weight and health because they are well intentioned or because it’s incredibly profitable for them, it’s still a mistake; and even if a million people are screaming a myth at the top of their lungs that doesn’t make it the truth, no matter how powerful or credentialed they might be.

Our weight is not a barometer for anything  – not for our health, value, intelligence, abilities, or anything else. From looking at our size, people can determine our size, and what their prejudices and preconceived notions about people of our size are.  Anything else they think they know is just them making stuff up in their heads based on those prejudices and preconceived notions.  That’s not our fault, though it does become our problem.
-from here

When we wage a war on obesity. We are essentially saying:

No one wins. Fat people no matter their habits healthy or not are told they are WRONG. And thin people become ever more afraid of getting fat. And those that do not have healthy habits are ok as long as they are thin.

Its not just about the fact that 95% of dieters fail - a large percentage of those dieters will weigh MORE than when they started restricting their diet.

So next time you are considering dieting or putting your child on a diet - you may tell yourself  "we'll be the five percent - we will beat this..." think of it this way:

The trouble is that this isn’t about being proficient at a skill (dieting), this is about our health. If Viagara worked 5% of the time and 95% of guys who took it became LESS able to get erections, I seriously doubt that we would be telling guys to keep taking it and just try harder.  
From here: The five percent


** PS. I met Ragen in person this weekend and the director to this documentary - it is still screening in Dallas through tomorrow - go see it especially if you are interested in HAES. Its a whole nother blogpost in and of itself! Ragen is the dancer in the preview :





please also take the poll I have up if you have a second.


** while writing this post the news reported that Rapper Heavy D died, no cause of death yet but most are blaming his weight - through the years he has fluctuated his weight by 100 pounds, some are saying he recently lost another 100 pounds. My mind has to wonder if he had accepted his body and healthy intuitive eating instead of dieting what would be? who knows but I shudder to think of the mean things that will be said and reported.

Weight Loss Surgery at Baylor

A fat person who loves the skin they are in is dangerous to a consumerist system. 

excellent article on Psychology today - why loving your body is dangerous

so this came in the mail the other day and I didn't want to read it, but I did. 

And it made me soooooo mad.

first... cute pun on words - I mean, not "she's healthier" (because that would be a lie) but her 'weight' is over. What does that mean - she doesn't weigh anything at all anymore??

but anyway to the meat of the pseudo-article:

First off all three women had surgery in 2010.  Notice this trend those of you considering WLS. Of all the advertising I've seen of WLS recipients the longest time since surgery has been 3 years. Notice they don't show you people 5, 10, 15, 20 years post surgery. That wouldn't sell. Even though the articles says gastric bypass is the oldest, most established surgical procedure... oh really then how about you show someone who had it 10, 20, 30 years ago?

Even the industry admits to having a hard time tracking patients long term - that is attributed that to the fact that many are embarrassed at re-gain and stay away.

THIS IS A HUGE MONEY-MAKING INDUSTRY, With profit margins so high they have almost everyone in their back pocket including the government agencies that should be regulating them and making them include truth in advertising.

truth in adverstising - Oh I make myself laugh.

the following info from the article is in red - response information is mostly from here

"Weight Loss Surgery can improve your quality of life and extend your life expectancy" says Andre Graham, MD

Your bologna has a first name Dr. Graham...

 4.6% of patients die after having bariatric surgeries just within the first year. Most bariatric patients are women of childbearing age and such high surgical risks are not found in any other elective procedure done on such young patients, regardless of their size.

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention researchers in the June 2004 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that since 1999, the prevalence of obesity and extreme obesity, and hence any deaths “associated” with obesity and extreme obesity in our country, have increased in actual percentages only 0.1% and 0.4%

“Certainly there is no steady increase in mortality with increasing overweight,” according to Dr. Ernsberger and Paul Haskew in a comprehensive review of more than 400 papers in the Journal of Obesity and Weight Regulation. In fact, most show fatness especially as we age, to be particularly favorable for longevity.

also from the advertisement: 

Obesity is linked with high cholesterol and triglycerides, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, menstrual irregularities, reflux, incontinence, depression, back and joint pain.

Well I am glad that in this particular advertisement they chose the word "linked" instead of caused by... because the big picture is being missed here. Thin people have those conditions too, as well as people long term after WLS. Correlation is not causation - I've already covered that bag of worms here. And the improvements that are seen after surgery are due to changes that could have been made without the risk.

Then there was this lovely quote by Sina Martin, MD: 

"For every pound you lose, you gain days of your life."

this is such a flaming bag of BS Dr. Martin, I don't even know where to start. -

By having bariatric surgery a woman increases her risk of dying 45-fold.

Meanwhile, women even just 100 pounds over “ideal” weights are lining up for these surgeries with no idea just how much they’re risking their lives. And parents are signing on the dotted line for their teenage daughters.

More than 8,000 Americans — mostly young women — lost their lives last year from a procedure they were told offers them their only hope for survival. Yet, all of these women would likely still be alive a year later had they not had the surgery.

These surgeries aren’t about saving lives!

Then my ultimate favorite quote was this one:

"So many people think surgery is dangerous and you shouldn't do it until everything else has failed, " Says Frank Felts MD on staff at Baylor. "Weight loss surgery needs to be considered frontline mainstream treatment for weight loss."

what a stupid statement Dr. Felts: 

1. ANY surgery especially under general anesthesia is dangerous - you idiot.

2. What is that statement mean anyway? You don't answer the concern of so many people - Yes many people consider the surgery dangerous - well is it or is it not? 

When I read it to Kyle he said its like saying "So many people think being shot is dangerous." You think by stating the obvious you discredit common sense?

3. WLS surgery should be frontline. Lets for a minute think that accepting healthy behaviors, not caring about your weight and changing society's views of beauty are useless goals (which I don't consider to be the case) and pretend that weight loss is the pinnacle of health.

YOU THINK THAT BYPASSING YOUR STOMACH SHOULD BE THE FRONTLINE TREATMENT????

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?


DR. FELTS???

did you take the Hippocratic oath? First do no harm.

the analogy of "frontline" is the first attack in battle. You think the FIRST THING someone should consider/do for weight loss is to surgically alter their body?

un.freakin. believable.

Want to read some sobering information about weight loss surgery go here: 

http://obesitysurgery-info.com

Or here.

  

A study headed by Dr David Flum in Washington which analyzed the case histories of 62,000 gastric bypass patients, found that within the first 30 days after surgery, the death rate had been 1 death every 50 surgeries.  This was considerably higher than even the worst estimate.  Dr Flum commented on CNN news that it was time for "a reality check on this surgery"

"The ethical haze surrounding bariatric procedures is not unknown in surgery, said Laurence B. McCullough, PhD, a professor of medicine and medical ethics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas."


** funny that quote is also from Baylor - guess they've gotten over the moral dilemma.


_________________________________________________________
now for some humor on the subject:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

the harder you try to lose weight...

This is a fascinating concept that HAES introduced me too. I had already gathered on my own that dieting doesn't work and it will be depressing when Kristie Alley gains the weight back, or Oprah does, Or your friend, or yourself. It will take different amounts of time for the weight to come back for different people. But it almost always comes back. Except for the few who have adopted full on disordered eating - and then they are thin, but their regimen, diet, exercise, calories is ALL they can talk/think about. And they dont' seem to enjoy social situations especially if food is involved because they have become afraid of food. Visit on online forum for weight loss and bathe in the sadness of eating disorders and false pride. but I digress again...

**Study shows why its hard to keep the weight off.

ARE YOU A RESTRAINED EATER?

hopefully not. I am.  (a recovering one.)

You would think being a restrained eater is a good thing. Someone who controls their cravings and appetite and has adopted moderation in all things.

But in the context of intuitive eating unrestrained eaters have a healthy relationship with food.

An unrestrained eater, listens to their body's cues and are sensitive to hunger and satiety need. They eat when hungry and stop when full. They naturally guide themselves toward healthy foods without caring about calories. They listen to their bodies and work with it instead of against it.
Years of self hate and attempts to lose weight can break these internal signals.

Have you spent time learning and counting the calories of all types of food - or their POINTS value?
Do you spend weekends telling yourself on  Monday. ON MONDAY you will start eating "healthy" and you mean it this time!!!

Have you signed up for weight watchers, Paleo, clean eating, south beach, Jenny Craig, Atkins, cabbage soup diet, body for life, Dr. Phil, HCG (that one is a special version of scary) etc. Giving your cues for food choices and fullness over to someone's opinion or system?

When you ignore your own body's cues, it starts to damage your relationship with food.

Some symptoms of restrained eaters:

*I generally count calories before deciding if something is OK to eat.
*I am often frustrated with my body size and wish that I could control it better.
*I am often on a diet or seriously considering one.
*I usually feel like a failure when I eat more than I should.
*I often feel physically weak and or hungry because I am trying to control my weight.
*I often turn to food when stressed out or sad.
*I am afraid to be around some foods because I don't want to be tempted.
*I feel safest if I have a plan or diet to guide my eating.
*I worry more about how fattening a food might be than how nutritious it is.
*I equate guilt with eating.
*Its hard to resist something good if it is around me even if I am not hungry.

Food is food. Don't let it make you feel guilty.  Your body is not wrong don't let it make you feel bad.  Listen to it.

"What is the danger in restrained eating habits? If you are a restrained eater, you try to control your body weight and don't trust your body to do it for you. You're likely to be gaining weight or at the very least frustrated in your efforts to lose.
Why? Because attempts to control your food intake through willpower and control require that you drown out the internal signals leaving you much more vulnerable to external signals. This approach is a problem because unless you lock yourself in a closet, there's no way to control the constant exposure to food we face in our world."

"Emotions such as depression, anxiety, anger, fear and excitement or dis-inhibitors such as alcohol or medication, cause a restrained eater to overeat. Conversely they turn off the appetite of an unrestrained eater to overeat. As long as things go well, the restrained eater can maintain control. But if anything gets in the way of changes, he/she can't maintain that control. The reason is clear: Restrained eaters don't rely on the normal signals of fullness to regulate their eating, so there are no brakes in place."
All from Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon.

Want to be an unrestrained eater?

Read up on intuitive eating. Of course this is a good place to start.
Start listening to your body not magazines or the Today show or people at work about how to eat.

Eat delicious, nutritious foods. (Whole foods are great place to start)
Pay attention when you eat, Enjoy the food. Taste the food.
Satisfy your hunger.
Stop when you are full.
______________________________________________________________________________

here is a wonderful synopsis from Golda Poretsky:

1) Get Clarity – Take a moment to write down all of the diet rules that still haunt you.  They may be conflicting, nonsensical, or sometimes sort of sensible.  Whatever they are, get them all out on paper.  Then decide if any are worth keeping.  Only keep the ones that really honor your body and itschangeability – such as getting adequate water, avoiding allergenic foods, stuff like that.  Throw out any rules that limit the types of foods you can eat (unless you have allergies or other health concerns) and definitely toss the calorie and carb counting.

2) Listen To Yourself – We all have a voice within us that tells us what foods nourish us and advises us as to our hunger and fullness.  Note, we ALL have this voice.  Sometimes this voice has been stifled by pushy parents or diet rules or our emotional torment, but trust me, it is there.  Take steps to actively listen for this voice.  Honor it no matter how quietly it speaks.  If you think you heard it and turned out to be wrong, listen for it again tomorrow.  Trust me that it is safe to trust yourself.

3) Pay Attention – Notice which foods feel best to you.  Do you like a muffin and coffee in the morning or an apple and almond butter and tea?  Does it depend on how much sleep you got, how much stress you’re under?  What time of year it is?  Are comfort foods comforting sometimes and sometimes not so much?  Notice the effects on your energy levels.  Notice comfort and discomfort.

Continually repeat the above to get better and better at tuning in.

In truth, the only rule is that there are no rules.  You make the rules.  It’s okay to be heady with that power as long as you let your body lead the way.

PS. Have you signed the HAES pledge yet? PLEASE, please, please, please do.

follow the rest of my series by clicking on a label:

mascara

In a podcast I linked up to the other day, wait give me a minute to find it  - here it is.
Linda Bacon discussed why the weight loss industry is so profitable and persuasive. If you are convinced that your body shape is wrong you'll do most anything to "fix" it.  That's how something is sold daily that has a 95% failure rate. Its how people are signing up for a surgery with an outstandingly stupid crazy death rate and hasn't been proven to improve health even when it doesn't manage to kill you.

Health doesn't sell like fat hate does. Health at every size is hard to catch on because there is not really anyone to profit but you and your own instinct.

Then she discussed mascara. To sell you mascara the beauty product industry needs to sell you the idea that your natural lashes aren't good enough.

That thought and my recent addiction to Mad Men on netflix got me to thinking. How often are we sold the idea that we aren't good enough just. the. way. we. are. Just to buy something someone is peddling to us.

One look at women's magazines and you'd think the American woman's mission in life is flat tummy and pleasing him in bed.  And if you could lose that much weight in one month why do you keep selling these magazines with the same goal? I think Woman's day has done nothing but regurgitate the latest diet fad for the last 30 years.

It also made me think about natural childbirth. Birth in this country has become another HUGE industry. Women have become so afraid of the birth process that just mention homebirth and you get the 'wow that's crazy or you are so brave" comments. Our bodies were made to birth. We don't need IV's, pitocin, surgery except in true emergencies, But its hard to tell what a true emergency is at a hospital because they've convinced us that its so freaking dangerous we might as well just get those things from the start.  I don't think I did any thing special by birthing without drugs. When I beat the natural childbirth drum its not to say Look at what I did! I did it better than you. I am saying I wish women knew how amazing this process is when unmessed with! I think you can do it!!! I bet you could do it BETTER than I did!


I've already said I think this is a full on attack from the Adversary. And I think he's winning. Four out of five women are dissatisfied with the way they look.

Dissatisfied women have the potential to raise daughters with body image issues. There is an excellent post here about changing the tide for the next generation from Allison Dickson:

 I sat her down last night and I told her that the path I took at her age, the one where I noticed for the first time (with help from others) that I was "fat," was blocked. That she would not go the way I did. She wouldn't be the one searching desperately for a solution, no matter how destructive, to a problem that doesn't exist. A non-existent problem that only becomes a problem when we try to solve it. I told her that I would not allow her to be driven by shame and loathing, from herself or others.

I know that I have done this to her, and it is perhaps my greatest failure as a parent. But I didn't realize then the damage I was doing. That hating myself in front of her was teaching her to hate herself.

It's not too late to fix it, though. Of this, I am sure. My intelligent, generous, loving, artistic, funny, compassionate, animal-loving (and, yes, beautiful) daughter will know how very precious she is. I will teach her the habits I should have had at her age. That to live, love, sing, dance, run, swim, laugh, cry, and eat is all part of being a human, and that her long legs, her wide hips, the pooch of her belly -- however they may grow or change shape as she ages or bears children someday -- are a lovely vehicle in which to do all of those things, and she should cherish it and nurture it and love it. Not starve it or cut it or deny it or hate it.

When we start looking outside ourselves for reasons to like ourselves, our worth all of sudden exists in the external.

I do it, even when I wrote about liking yourself right now just the way you are, I talked about makeup and hair.
This is dangerous.

We can start to care more about what we weigh, what we wear, where we live, what we drive, how our house is decorated, how exercising will make us look not how it will make us feel.  And the thing is none of that will make us happy.


Since my mascara a-ha moment I've looked at my daily practices and the root cause of them. I still love makeup and fixing my hair. But I also don't mind leaving the house without those. I try to remember the Young Woman's theme more than commercial rhetoric.

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us and we love him.

that's what its all about.

I don't need mascara.
I don't need designer clothes.
What I wear places is not as important as what I DO when I get there.
My home is a home with or without decorations or hardwood floors.
Driving a minivan isn't embarrassing. Its a car that gets me and my family from A to B, A porsche would do the same thing.
A refurbed laptop does what I need as well as the latest Ipad.
Thrift store clothes on my kids are just as good as clothes from the mall.
etc. etc. etc. (King and I anyone?)

** Its funny to me that Allergan the maker of  LabBand also is the company behind Botox and Latisse the eyelash growing goo - that may or may not give you racoon eyes for life.

Weight loss surgery on children, when the world totally lost its ever loving mind.

I didn't even intend to write about HAES today but then I read that England was going to start covering gastric weight loss surgery for children as young as ELEVEN.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

holy mother of all that is unholy and evil and stupid.

ELEVEN.

Because you should be interfering with your body's gastric system before you are even solidly into puberty and are most certainly not done growing.  And to tick me off more they included headless fatty pictures of children and fat child eating junk food pictures to the article.

I hate headless fatty pictures.  If you want pictures of fat people come take a picture of me and my husband flying kites with our kids or hiking or in our Sunday best.

You want a fat person eating fast food, pan out on that zoom lens you got going on and see that there are probably thin people next to them eating THE EXACT SAME STUFF. Funny thing is last time I took my kids to the playland at McDonalds there were plenty of thin people there.

Anyway I digress...


There was also the news story of a sweet woman who died after lap band surgery.

Rojeski, a Ladera Ranch resident who loved dogs and worked as a buyer for an aerospace firm, had told friends and family that she was looking forward to the Lap-Band surgery. One friend described Rojeski as being thrilled ahead of what she hoped would be a life-changing procedure.

"I had just talked to Paula the night before. She was really excited, really happy. She told me, 'I'm going to be skinny!'" 

so. so. sad.

There is also news that a new group has formed to fight for obesity rights, specifically for obesity to be considered a disease on its own accord.

One might on first thought think this is a fat acceptance group fighting for equal rights, rights for people to work, be promoted etc. despite their size.

not so.

CHOICE – Choosing Health Over Obesity and Inspiring Change Through Empowerment.


is, drum roll please...


"Choice" is actually Allergan and the public face to their BIG, BIG business lobbying of government to get obesity considered a disease so they can FORCE insurance agencies and medicare/medicaid to cover obesity surgeries.


SURGERIES That are KILLING PEOPLE!!
following from here:


In the more than forty years that bariatric surgeries have been performed, there have been no randomized, controlled clinical trials that have shown any long-term improvements to actual health or that lives are saved or extended by these surgeries

The end result of bariatric surgery is surgically induced malnutrition:

Gastric bypass essentially results in surgically enforced, very low-calorie, low-carbohydrate dietary intake, thus requiring attention to adequate (>0.5 g/kg) daily protein intake. Micronutrients, including calcium, vitamin B12, folate, multivitamins, thiamine, and iron (for menstruating female subjects), must be supplemented after gastric bypass. A bariatric dietitian who is familiar with the progressive addition of food items with more complex compositions and consistencies can help with meal planning and nutritional “troubleshooting” as recovery proceeds. Finally, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications should be avoided, to reduce the risk of intestinal ulceration and bleeding.

Dr. Smith then discusses the patients in her practice who have had bariatric surgery. A few have done okay, but most haven’t even though they had their surgeries done by the same surgeon and at the same medical center.

One lady passes kidney stones every couple of weeks. Another regurgitates anything solid that she tries to eat and yet has only lost 20 pounds in six months. She says she makes up the calories in liquid. Another can not eat more than one slice of toast at a time without getting sick. Some have chronic diarrhea. Many have nutritional deficiencies. A couple have gained their weight back after 10 or 20 years. And yet, not one of them says they regret having the surgery, such is the praise they get from others for losing weight. If asked, every single one of them would call themselves healthier, but from my perspective their health is worse. They all require more monitoring and more interventions than they did before having the surgery.

It's the height of arrogance, however, to push this medically induced malnourished state on a still developing and growing child. We don't know what damage we may do in the long-run to their bodies or their minds with these procedures.

Her observations partly explain why we hear so little about the severity and prevalence of tragic outcomes among these patients, why patients are not speaking out and bringing lawsuits in droves, and why so few patients really understand beforehand the risks and what their lives will be like after surgery. These are critically important realizations for healthcare professionals, families and anyone considering these surgeries. So, I am going to expound upon them in hopes that it will bring better understanding and enable us to better help our patients, friends and loved ones.

One bariatric patient shared with other patients her experiences:

...If you tell the average person that doesn't really know what weight loss surgery is, they are totally stunned. They just know that your stomach is smaller and that you lose weight. They don't know that the body is getting butchered up. And for the people who do know what the surgery entails, they are so caught up in the disgrace of being obese that they think it's okay to butcher the body to be almighty thin.

When I became very sick, almost 6 years ago, trying to find a doctor to help me, I had friends and relatives tell me “but you would be dead if you hadn't gotten the surgery!” --- and here I was, dying when they were telling me this, because of the surgery! This is how ingrained it is in society, how dangerous it is to be obese.

By having bariatric surgery a woman 


increases her risk of dying 45-fold.


My lasting opinion of all of this is: I may write about this just to change women's perspectives but really altering society's ideals of beauty is a live saving endeavor.


ALL people, especially fat people and more especially fat children NEED to know that they belong in this world. 
Food is not evil. It nourishes you. 
Your body is not wrong it houses you.
Moving feels good and is good for you, you should find a place where you can do it without ridicule.
Don't let anyone cut on your body just to make it look different. 
If you survive the surgery, you may live with unintended consequences for the 
REST. OF. YOUR. LIFE.