Want to see a picture of the Nursery?

Well too bad because there isn't one. And I am TOTALLY ok with that. But I am trying to figure out what to do with my self. With Benjamin we lived with my mom and despite cramped quarters I went completely overboard. Most of what I bought was garage sale or consignment, but I negated the cost effectiveness of second hand by buying WAY too much of everything. We had the crib set up by my 10th week of pregnancy just so there would be a place to put all the crap I was accumulating. He had so many clothes that I found an entire BOX of unworn 3-6mos outfits when he was a year old. With Ella I reigned myself in somewhat, but buying for a girl was so fun I still did too much. She didn't get a "nursery" either because we were living in a two bedroom apartment that we intended to leave two months after she was born. So she just had a bassinet and lots of pink clothes. With Maiya we had moved into our "needs some work" townhouse in the throws of my terrible morning sickness. It wasn't until about the ninth month along that I felt good enough to organize stuff. No "nursery" once again - she stayed with us until about five months old. I did manage, with Kristi's help, to paint her and Ella's room purple before she moved in there. Now sweet baby Cora, I have done so little, and its been completely on purpose. As difficult as my pregnancy has been I vowed I would appreciate being pregnant this time instead of just spending the whole time planning and hoping for the birth. I remember two things clearly from the previous three times. As soon as everything is prepared it feels like the clock slows down and all I have to do is wait. Wait for the first pang of labor, wait for my water to break, wait for the next person to ask "you haven't had that baby yet?" Its like waiting for water to boil while staring intently at it. The other thing is every time, no matter how much I threw up or how much my back hurt, late in the night at the hospital, usually when the baby is in the nursery, I feel very, very alone and have a few pangs of sadness that I am no longer pregnant. Now don't' go calling Brooke Shields about my rapidly progressing postpartum depression. It is fleeting, but it makes me think - I should have enjoyed the kicks more, appreciated how neat it was that someone was growing inside of me, the comfort that knowing the baby was with me at all times, instead of just waiting and waiting. So here I am wondering if I am a little crazy. Cora has one dresser that we got at a consignment sale for $50 that daddy lovingly (with only a few cuss words) painted white - to match her sister's. And she has a pile of stuff in our closet that includes a bouncy seat ($10), bassinet (free), and a car seat from the neighbor (free). I fully intended to have stuff washed and folded and in said dresser by now. But for some reason I haven't. Some days I think its because I am doing better about smelling the roses during this pregnancy and other days I think its just because I am being lazy. So you guys tell me - when were you "ready for baby"?

Cora's dresser/changing table
Pile o' stuff