Sunday Irritations

I'm having a frustrated night so I left my warm bed to blog. 

• Kyle starts his new job tomorrow. It is bittersweet. Not that it has been anything but very stressful to be unemployed but it was nice having him home.  It stinks that he will have to leave for a longer commute for significantly less money. But I am grateful, especially that we will have benefits again. How wonderful it has been that not a one of us has been sick. (knocking hard on wood)
• I helped in Nursery this Sunday and last. And I want to make a memo to the world. Parents for the love of pete, drop off your kids and leave. Staying for a short period of time only delays the inevitable. Then when you do have to leave and all the other crying ones have calmed down your newly upset one starts the cycle again. Staying the whole time does nothing to help them progress. They get to have their cake and eat it too, and it makes the nursery leaders uncomfortable the whole time you are there. Its already hard to act appropriately goofy and cheery for the kids and sing A cappella, its doubly difficult with a parental audience. And once you do leave, don't come back and stick your head in the door. It upsets the whole cycle of potential calmness. If you see them crying it does not mean they have been crying the whole time or that they are not seconds away from calming down. If you can't take it, knock on the little window and let the leader bring them to you. Storming in and swooping them up just solidifies their feelings that they need to be rescued. Letting the leader bring them to you shows them that their teacher is not mean and will get them to mom or dad when absolutely necessary. Oh and if someone is not constantly holding or attempting to calm your child while they are freaking out, its not because they are being cold to your child, it just may be the best way to soothe them. Sometimes attempting to comfort makes them more upset. A child left alone to observe and become interested on their own terms is usually a much happier nursery goer.
• While I am on a tangent. I'll visit the mother's room. First off we need at least two more chairs in there.  I am very comfortable with breastfeeding my baby. Everywhere it seems except at church. You would think the mother's room would be a very accepting place but it usually seems the opposite to me. I don't understand why the majority of women in there take all measures to stay covered up. Because of my build (aka fat) its hard to get Cora latched on and stay covered. I think I am much more modest if I don't even attempt to cover. In the coit building the chairs swiveled, so I would swivel toward the wall get the latch then spin back around. Here they don't swivel so Cora and I are right up next to the other mother doing our thing out in the open (or sitting on the floor on crowded days) This would not bother me in the slightest anywhere else. I nurse in public ALL THE TIME, but for some reason at church I want to go out to my car.

• Now to my cute little boy. Oh Benjamin, I am not sure how to mother you at this stage. You have become quite obnoxious, I love you deeply but you are driving me crazy. Did you guys read about the woman who let her nine year old ride the subway alone? She is my HERO. I think a lot about how much better off Benjamin would be in a less overprotective world. It is time for him to be riding his bike all over the neighborhood. He needs more exercise, less time in front of a computer screen, tv, video game. He needs more exploring. It should be a "don't come in till its dinner time or the street lights come on" stage. But anxiety gets in my way. And its not really anxiety about what might happen to him, but what other mothers will think of me. I pride myself on not being overprotective. I think my kids are well adjusted because I am not. But I am stuck in a damned if I do, damned if I don't cycle with my son. We all know video games are not good for kids - but we also shouldn't let our kids outside unsupervised. So what should I do? Not cook dinner everyday and instead watch him ride is bike up and down the sidewalk in front of our house? Real fun for both of us...not. So I don't know what to do, but I did read this article, which basically said this: Everything we found associated with video games came out negative... So tomorrow I am going to box up all video game stuff and debate about selling it, When Benjamin comes home from school I am going to send him out to ride his bike and maybe even go down to the park, on his own. Don't judge me too harshly

I'll leave you with a quote from that article in case you don't have the time to follow my links: 

"The problem with this everything-is-dangerous outlook is that over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself. A child who thinks he can't do anything on his own eventually can't."