a few of my favorite things:

from postsecret

For your curls:
Curly Girl the book
High Quality Hair Sticks

For your face:
Oil cleansing method - I've been washing my face with castor oil and olive oil and my acne has dramatically improved!

For your self esteem:
Health at Every Size
Lessons from the Fatosphere, Quit dieting and make a truce with your body.

For your wallet:
You need a budget software
The tightwad gazette
The total Money Makeover

For your birth:
Birth Matters, A midwife's manifesta by Ina May Gaskins
More of the Business of Being Born the four part sequel to the original Business of being born.

For Breastfeeding:
Ina May's guide to breastfeeding


For your body:
Cute clothes for the beautiful fat ladies...
(I am so tired of being jealous of shabby apple dresses.)

Land's End has very high quality Plus size clothes
Igigi has fabulous high end dresses
Torrid has great and sexy clothes
Junonia has WORKOUT clothes!

For your ears:
Adele


For your kitchen:
Great Depression Cooking with Clara
My favorite kitchen gadget of the year : Disposal Genie


For your blog:
I have loved getting my blog printed by year here: Cutest Blog on the Block

fun run ...

 before I get to the fun run... lookie at the stuff I'm getting from my fall garden, I have to say other than starting seeds in the heat of august this texas fall garden has been AWESOME:

these are backwards but I'm not going to bother flipping them all around. The girls had their school's fun run on Friday - they had a lot of fun. I felt the pressure to shell out more money than I'd like. The school made 13,000 dollars!!!!!!! Don't really feel great about that - what in the world do we need with all that money? and they still want dues and party money?

I don't get it. But that is just me.

After the fun run we skipped the assembly - I think if I'm counting right its the NINTH assembly since school started. We decided to duck out and go play at the playground instead. I don't think sitting on a cold hard floor for 45 minutes to an hour is all that developmentally appropriate for little kids. Especially since one minute they are pumping loud music getting them to dance then they are yelling at them to sit still and be quiet in other parts. It makes me antsy.

And while I'm complaining about that, I think chivalry is all but dead. I go to things like this and every time I see mom's standing with babies in arm while tons of men sit, never offering a seat.

rant over.

us playing at the playground instead of at the assembly:

at the fun run:

 Ella ran 3.2 miles!

                      

boy scout merit badge

Hi its Ben i have to earn a merit badge so i am talking about how i love reading.  I love adventure books like rangers apprentice,eragon,warriors,and yu gi oh. I also love funny books like Garfield, and practical jokes. The books i want is the new eragon book on November 30.if you want to see my school library go tohttp://rogerslibrary.rogers.prosperisd.schoolfusion.us

bye, Ben

my boys...

..

Its so funny to me to have a baby boy again after 10 years.

There is just something about a baby boy. I mean baby girls are a sweet combo of awesomeness but there is a very strong bond between boy and momma.

PJ is so very attached to me. I've been used to the independent nature of my little girls and the calmness too.

Thanks to the internet you can be wrong fovever -like me and sippy cups, after three relatively calm girls I decided straw cups were the best thing since sliced bread - but the girls were not really into throwing cups either. PJ is a cup chucker -  If he's done drinking he's throwing that bad boy directly at the floor or wall. And new puppies love pulling straws out and chewing them to shreds. 

In the time since I used sippy's regularly they have gone valve free so I'm back to sippy cups...

PJ is still breastfeeding - a feat that I am proud of. We have avoided all the severe constipation problems that my others went through when I weaned too early.

There are special considerations for extended breastfeeding. Like that you are one of very few still nursing your baby past the first birthday.

That at the doctors they will look at you funny - even though they should be promoting that exact thing.

"Is he on whole or 2% milk?" 

neither.

formula?

no.

blank stare - 

I am still breastfeeding him.

"ooooohhhhhhh."

After his shots can I stay in this room and nurse him?

long pause...

"That should be ok, I'll have to check ..."

 - ok you do that.

PJ really only nurses in the morning regularly anymore - anything else is just a bonus.

He lays and nurses on one side and then stands to nurse on the other side - its quite funny to see. Kyle giggles at him often.

I just bought a real bra, flap free after three years. But I'll be sad to see this stage officially go when it does. 

Then there is my big boy.

Its a surreal moment to walk downstairs in the morning to a son nearing my height - who has already made his lunch and wanted juice too so he made of pitcher of that. And he has a wallet and his own ID to keep track of and he rarely loses either.

He is in two Pre-AP classes now and is doing rather well at them. The math class has completely surpassed my intellectual capabilities so Dad is the lone helper for homework.

He has his own business. He's put up flyers around the neighborhood for dog poop scooping. $2.50/ yard per week.

He has left me a checklist to make more posters and he has his own email account for the business. With 600 homes in the neighborhood - he could do pretty well with this.

He is very much like his father, but also me too. He's kind and sensitive. He can lose his temper and say things he doesn't mean, especially if he thinks he is purposefully being slighted. But he's a good friend. And I try to teach him everyday that there is someone, somewhere who needs a friend, its always good to be that person.

The stages to this motherhood thing are so fluid, just when you feel like you will be stuck in one forever its gone just like that. When a mother of one or two little ones ask me how I do it, its hard to impart that its not that bad - its wonderful actually.

Two under 3 was hard. Five under 11 is not any harder. Its not like you can multiply in your mind your two little ones and think its the same for a mother of many. I don't have 5 little ones, I have some in every stage from 11 to still crawling.
You buy a little more food and do a little more laundry. But you have a lot more fun.
One child takes 100% of a mom's time, more kids can't take more than that.

I remember my three year old Benjamin like I remember my newborn PJ - it feels like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time.

 He's 6 months away from getting the Priesthood. He's five years away from driving. And he is 10 years away from the age Kyle and I were when we married.

wow. if that doesn't make life feel like a speeding fast train.

Words matter.

Words matter. Words become labels, and labels become stigmas.

Wonderful article on the misuse of the word epidemic when it comes to obesity.

• We are not getting as "FAT" as they claim. (they being the government, news sources and the weight loss industry bankrolling the aforementioned.) 
• We have as a whole increased about one dress size since the 70's - which by the way correlates with the introduction of subsidized corn and high fructose corn syrup.
• We are also getting taller and our feet are bigger but that isn't freaking people out.
• I don't know about you but when I look around there is still pretty much a bell curve - most in the middle some on the super end of thin (like most of my past roommates) and some on the super end of fat. - That's me, I'm morbidly obese, though as Stephen Colbert says I prefer the term cheerfully obese. In a room of about a hundred there are two or three people my size. Not the sea of fatties that the news would want you to think.
• Despite the obesity epidemic fraud life expectancy is still higher than it ever has been and heart disease is decreasing.
• The statistics of disease caused by obesity is BAD science. They are only looking at correlating factors. Things that happened around the same time as fat increasing.  But the fat may be caused by the disease itself not the other way around. How many women are not treated for PCOS or thyroid issues because a medical professional sees a woman with 'bad' habits that need to be improved without actually asking about her habits. 
• And it doesn't answer the fact that the majority of fat people are not riddled with disease and thin people also suffer from high blood pressure, diabetes, fibromyalgia, and heart disease. So if being fat doesn't always cause it and being thin doesn't always prevent it. Can we for the LOVE... make healthcare size neutral? 
• Rarely talked about is the obesity paradox - the fact that there are some health benefits to fat.

You know what the real epidemic is?

STIGMA

There are studies of cultures where fat is not pathologized or stigmatized and there are no correlating factors between fat and disease.

Fighting obesity is not a fight we should be participating in.

What I hope fat people remember is that whether people are making the mistake of confusing weight and health because they are well intentioned or because it’s incredibly profitable for them, it’s still a mistake; and even if a million people are screaming a myth at the top of their lungs that doesn’t make it the truth, no matter how powerful or credentialed they might be.

Our weight is not a barometer for anything  – not for our health, value, intelligence, abilities, or anything else. From looking at our size, people can determine our size, and what their prejudices and preconceived notions about people of our size are.  Anything else they think they know is just them making stuff up in their heads based on those prejudices and preconceived notions.  That’s not our fault, though it does become our problem.
-from here

When we wage a war on obesity. We are essentially saying:

No one wins. Fat people no matter their habits healthy or not are told they are WRONG. And thin people become ever more afraid of getting fat. And those that do not have healthy habits are ok as long as they are thin.

Its not just about the fact that 95% of dieters fail - a large percentage of those dieters will weigh MORE than when they started restricting their diet.

So next time you are considering dieting or putting your child on a diet - you may tell yourself  "we'll be the five percent - we will beat this..." think of it this way:

The trouble is that this isn’t about being proficient at a skill (dieting), this is about our health. If Viagara worked 5% of the time and 95% of guys who took it became LESS able to get erections, I seriously doubt that we would be telling guys to keep taking it and just try harder.  
From here: The five percent


** PS. I met Ragen in person this weekend and the director to this documentary - it is still screening in Dallas through tomorrow - go see it especially if you are interested in HAES. Its a whole nother blogpost in and of itself! Ragen is the dancer in the preview :





please also take the poll I have up if you have a second.


** while writing this post the news reported that Rapper Heavy D died, no cause of death yet but most are blaming his weight - through the years he has fluctuated his weight by 100 pounds, some are saying he recently lost another 100 pounds. My mind has to wonder if he had accepted his body and healthy intuitive eating instead of dieting what would be? who knows but I shudder to think of the mean things that will be said and reported.

I LOVE ...

 sisters. need I say more?

 Oh my gosh those cheeks I could just nibble on them, oh yeah I totally do :)

 Ella's doodling

Cora is so talkative these days and very emotive - she loves everything. No really I mean loves everything - the following in caps is her squealing at the tops of her lungs:

Me: Cora I got you some new pants.

Cora: I LOVE NEW PANTS, where did you get them?

Me: I got them at Sams club.

Cora: I LOVE SAMS CLUB

Me: Cora lets go to the store.

Cora: I LOVE THE STORE

Me: Lets go cook dinner now.

Cora: I LOVE COOKING DINNER

Me: lets go out to the bus stop

Cora: I LOVE GOING TO THE BUS STOP.

its funny the excitement is kind of catchy. this might sound strange but I hope I always have a preschooler in my life!

Seems like she was just this size a few minutes ago.

Weight Loss Surgery at Baylor

A fat person who loves the skin they are in is dangerous to a consumerist system. 

excellent article on Psychology today - why loving your body is dangerous

so this came in the mail the other day and I didn't want to read it, but I did. 

And it made me soooooo mad.

first... cute pun on words - I mean, not "she's healthier" (because that would be a lie) but her 'weight' is over. What does that mean - she doesn't weigh anything at all anymore??

but anyway to the meat of the pseudo-article:

First off all three women had surgery in 2010.  Notice this trend those of you considering WLS. Of all the advertising I've seen of WLS recipients the longest time since surgery has been 3 years. Notice they don't show you people 5, 10, 15, 20 years post surgery. That wouldn't sell. Even though the articles says gastric bypass is the oldest, most established surgical procedure... oh really then how about you show someone who had it 10, 20, 30 years ago?

Even the industry admits to having a hard time tracking patients long term - that is attributed that to the fact that many are embarrassed at re-gain and stay away.

THIS IS A HUGE MONEY-MAKING INDUSTRY, With profit margins so high they have almost everyone in their back pocket including the government agencies that should be regulating them and making them include truth in advertising.

truth in adverstising - Oh I make myself laugh.

the following info from the article is in red - response information is mostly from here

"Weight Loss Surgery can improve your quality of life and extend your life expectancy" says Andre Graham, MD

Your bologna has a first name Dr. Graham...

 4.6% of patients die after having bariatric surgeries just within the first year. Most bariatric patients are women of childbearing age and such high surgical risks are not found in any other elective procedure done on such young patients, regardless of their size.

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention researchers in the June 2004 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that since 1999, the prevalence of obesity and extreme obesity, and hence any deaths “associated” with obesity and extreme obesity in our country, have increased in actual percentages only 0.1% and 0.4%

“Certainly there is no steady increase in mortality with increasing overweight,” according to Dr. Ernsberger and Paul Haskew in a comprehensive review of more than 400 papers in the Journal of Obesity and Weight Regulation. In fact, most show fatness especially as we age, to be particularly favorable for longevity.

also from the advertisement: 

Obesity is linked with high cholesterol and triglycerides, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, menstrual irregularities, reflux, incontinence, depression, back and joint pain.

Well I am glad that in this particular advertisement they chose the word "linked" instead of caused by... because the big picture is being missed here. Thin people have those conditions too, as well as people long term after WLS. Correlation is not causation - I've already covered that bag of worms here. And the improvements that are seen after surgery are due to changes that could have been made without the risk.

Then there was this lovely quote by Sina Martin, MD: 

"For every pound you lose, you gain days of your life."

this is such a flaming bag of BS Dr. Martin, I don't even know where to start. -

By having bariatric surgery a woman increases her risk of dying 45-fold.

Meanwhile, women even just 100 pounds over “ideal” weights are lining up for these surgeries with no idea just how much they’re risking their lives. And parents are signing on the dotted line for their teenage daughters.

More than 8,000 Americans — mostly young women — lost their lives last year from a procedure they were told offers them their only hope for survival. Yet, all of these women would likely still be alive a year later had they not had the surgery.

These surgeries aren’t about saving lives!

Then my ultimate favorite quote was this one:

"So many people think surgery is dangerous and you shouldn't do it until everything else has failed, " Says Frank Felts MD on staff at Baylor. "Weight loss surgery needs to be considered frontline mainstream treatment for weight loss."

what a stupid statement Dr. Felts: 

1. ANY surgery especially under general anesthesia is dangerous - you idiot.

2. What is that statement mean anyway? You don't answer the concern of so many people - Yes many people consider the surgery dangerous - well is it or is it not? 

When I read it to Kyle he said its like saying "So many people think being shot is dangerous." You think by stating the obvious you discredit common sense?

3. WLS surgery should be frontline. Lets for a minute think that accepting healthy behaviors, not caring about your weight and changing society's views of beauty are useless goals (which I don't consider to be the case) and pretend that weight loss is the pinnacle of health.

YOU THINK THAT BYPASSING YOUR STOMACH SHOULD BE THE FRONTLINE TREATMENT????

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?


DR. FELTS???

did you take the Hippocratic oath? First do no harm.

the analogy of "frontline" is the first attack in battle. You think the FIRST THING someone should consider/do for weight loss is to surgically alter their body?

un.freakin. believable.

Want to read some sobering information about weight loss surgery go here: 

http://obesitysurgery-info.com

Or here.

  

A study headed by Dr David Flum in Washington which analyzed the case histories of 62,000 gastric bypass patients, found that within the first 30 days after surgery, the death rate had been 1 death every 50 surgeries.  This was considerably higher than even the worst estimate.  Dr Flum commented on CNN news that it was time for "a reality check on this surgery"

"The ethical haze surrounding bariatric procedures is not unknown in surgery, said Laurence B. McCullough, PhD, a professor of medicine and medical ethics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas."


** funny that quote is also from Baylor - guess they've gotten over the moral dilemma.


_________________________________________________________
now for some humor on the subject:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Halloween Picture Pages

 trunk or treat:

Sock Hop at school:

Trick or Treating:

the harder you try to lose weight...

This is a fascinating concept that HAES introduced me too. I had already gathered on my own that dieting doesn't work and it will be depressing when Kristie Alley gains the weight back, or Oprah does, Or your friend, or yourself. It will take different amounts of time for the weight to come back for different people. But it almost always comes back. Except for the few who have adopted full on disordered eating - and then they are thin, but their regimen, diet, exercise, calories is ALL they can talk/think about. And they dont' seem to enjoy social situations especially if food is involved because they have become afraid of food. Visit on online forum for weight loss and bathe in the sadness of eating disorders and false pride. but I digress again...

**Study shows why its hard to keep the weight off.

ARE YOU A RESTRAINED EATER?

hopefully not. I am.  (a recovering one.)

You would think being a restrained eater is a good thing. Someone who controls their cravings and appetite and has adopted moderation in all things.

But in the context of intuitive eating unrestrained eaters have a healthy relationship with food.

An unrestrained eater, listens to their body's cues and are sensitive to hunger and satiety need. They eat when hungry and stop when full. They naturally guide themselves toward healthy foods without caring about calories. They listen to their bodies and work with it instead of against it.
Years of self hate and attempts to lose weight can break these internal signals.

Have you spent time learning and counting the calories of all types of food - or their POINTS value?
Do you spend weekends telling yourself on  Monday. ON MONDAY you will start eating "healthy" and you mean it this time!!!

Have you signed up for weight watchers, Paleo, clean eating, south beach, Jenny Craig, Atkins, cabbage soup diet, body for life, Dr. Phil, HCG (that one is a special version of scary) etc. Giving your cues for food choices and fullness over to someone's opinion or system?

When you ignore your own body's cues, it starts to damage your relationship with food.

Some symptoms of restrained eaters:

*I generally count calories before deciding if something is OK to eat.
*I am often frustrated with my body size and wish that I could control it better.
*I am often on a diet or seriously considering one.
*I usually feel like a failure when I eat more than I should.
*I often feel physically weak and or hungry because I am trying to control my weight.
*I often turn to food when stressed out or sad.
*I am afraid to be around some foods because I don't want to be tempted.
*I feel safest if I have a plan or diet to guide my eating.
*I worry more about how fattening a food might be than how nutritious it is.
*I equate guilt with eating.
*Its hard to resist something good if it is around me even if I am not hungry.

Food is food. Don't let it make you feel guilty.  Your body is not wrong don't let it make you feel bad.  Listen to it.

"What is the danger in restrained eating habits? If you are a restrained eater, you try to control your body weight and don't trust your body to do it for you. You're likely to be gaining weight or at the very least frustrated in your efforts to lose.
Why? Because attempts to control your food intake through willpower and control require that you drown out the internal signals leaving you much more vulnerable to external signals. This approach is a problem because unless you lock yourself in a closet, there's no way to control the constant exposure to food we face in our world."

"Emotions such as depression, anxiety, anger, fear and excitement or dis-inhibitors such as alcohol or medication, cause a restrained eater to overeat. Conversely they turn off the appetite of an unrestrained eater to overeat. As long as things go well, the restrained eater can maintain control. But if anything gets in the way of changes, he/she can't maintain that control. The reason is clear: Restrained eaters don't rely on the normal signals of fullness to regulate their eating, so there are no brakes in place."
All from Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon.

Want to be an unrestrained eater?

Read up on intuitive eating. Of course this is a good place to start.
Start listening to your body not magazines or the Today show or people at work about how to eat.

Eat delicious, nutritious foods. (Whole foods are great place to start)
Pay attention when you eat, Enjoy the food. Taste the food.
Satisfy your hunger.
Stop when you are full.
______________________________________________________________________________

here is a wonderful synopsis from Golda Poretsky:

1) Get Clarity – Take a moment to write down all of the diet rules that still haunt you.  They may be conflicting, nonsensical, or sometimes sort of sensible.  Whatever they are, get them all out on paper.  Then decide if any are worth keeping.  Only keep the ones that really honor your body and itschangeability – such as getting adequate water, avoiding allergenic foods, stuff like that.  Throw out any rules that limit the types of foods you can eat (unless you have allergies or other health concerns) and definitely toss the calorie and carb counting.

2) Listen To Yourself – We all have a voice within us that tells us what foods nourish us and advises us as to our hunger and fullness.  Note, we ALL have this voice.  Sometimes this voice has been stifled by pushy parents or diet rules or our emotional torment, but trust me, it is there.  Take steps to actively listen for this voice.  Honor it no matter how quietly it speaks.  If you think you heard it and turned out to be wrong, listen for it again tomorrow.  Trust me that it is safe to trust yourself.

3) Pay Attention – Notice which foods feel best to you.  Do you like a muffin and coffee in the morning or an apple and almond butter and tea?  Does it depend on how much sleep you got, how much stress you’re under?  What time of year it is?  Are comfort foods comforting sometimes and sometimes not so much?  Notice the effects on your energy levels.  Notice comfort and discomfort.

Continually repeat the above to get better and better at tuning in.

In truth, the only rule is that there are no rules.  You make the rules.  It’s okay to be heady with that power as long as you let your body lead the way.

PS. Have you signed the HAES pledge yet? PLEASE, please, please, please do.

follow the rest of my series by clicking on a label:

Pumpkin Farm Field trip

Its funny to see the progression of my little ones as we've been going here over the years.

 Its easy to tell Maiya is well loved by the kids in her class. Ever since she was little she is shy but still manages to make many friends. I remember when I was taking care of my mom during chemo/radiation watching her on the daycare webcam - she wasn't talking yet but she still managed to take charge of the situation. 

During one reading time she got up and started taking books off the bookshelf - in record time the teacher lost control over all the kids and every single book was off the shelf.

she's a quiet leader.

I am going to have lots of pumpkins to bake and puree after halloween - Since I started this frugal trick I haven't had to buy canned pumpkin and its so much better tasting too!